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Prologue- The Legend of Kallisti

There were many ways it could have ended. Robert Frost waxed poetically about fire and ice, but it never could have been that simple. Greed, insanity, revenge, jealousy-the murderous motives of man are what ended the world…somewhat anyway. Perhaps one day there will be cataclysmic forces that rend the planet into pieces, or a vengeful god seeking his due- but not just yet.

But perhaps it would be best to start at the beginning.

Throughout time wars have been fought. Great wars, and small ones- for reasons righteous or religious, and believe it or not, they had a purpose.  Guided by the careful hands of the Gods, wars eased famine by decreasing the population. They ensured innovation when cultures became stagnant.  

The greatest roads the world has ever known were carved by hand so that the Romans could move their armies, but trade also traveled over those roads.  And while it was still a terrible, terrible thing- war had a purpose.
Then one day, long ago, the power to control war was stolen from the Gods, and Man’s violent impulses could no longer be channeled to accomplish the greater good.

Kallisti was that power. A golden apple filled with enough strife and discord that it could make even the most rational of men hunger with a lust for blood. Just looking at the apple was enough to invoke violence.

Only a heart without envy or pride could withstand the apple’s powers. A pure soul with complete blood innocence and beauty unrivaled could touch the apple. And only a soul without greed or vanity could use the apple’s terrible powers.
Needless to say, such a paragon did not exist.
Kallisti could only be controlled by its’ creators: Ares, the God of war, and Eris, the Goddess of Discord.

How the Gods lost the apple is a mystery. Some say it was stolen by those who wished to cause the downfall of the Gods. Others believe that it was cast out into the mortal world by Eris herself after the death of her only son, Strife, the God of Mischief.  

However it was lost, the result was the same. Once mortals realized that the Gods could no longer control the wars that raged through their lands, they stopped believing, and the Twilight of the Gods began and they all faded into the depths of history.

Until now.

Whosoever holds the apple controls the destiny of the world, and that is the way the world ends.


Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost


Kallisti-Book two of Neverwhere

(This is the Author’s notes, chapter 1 will follow)

(And you really do need to read Neverwhere first, this is not stand-alone at all.)

Current Fandoms- Buffy, Highlander, House, Hellsing, Vampire Hunter D, Anita Blake, Demon Diary, Petshop of Horrors, 24, James Bond, Harry Potter, and probably some I have forgotten.

New Fandoms- Doctor Who, Xena, and many more.

Pairings- If you have read Neverwhere then I am not going to go into this…I’d be here all day.

This is rated M for mature, not appropriate for all ages. This will include both slash and het, but I tend to fall more on the slash side of things.

Plot summary- Insanity, chaos, war, peace, love, and maybe some space ships.  Just trust me, this will be one wild ride. ^-~
If you have made it through Neverwhere, you already know that I am certifiable, I will make no apologies at this late a date.  

Kallisti is a real element in mythology, I knew I was going to use it before I knew I was going to add Xena- it took me quite a bit of creativity to get that one to work, let me tell you. If you want to know more about Kallisti, Wikipedia is where I got my research.

Reviews and recommendations are always welcome.


Chapter 1


-Just after Jack left to go back to his team after the Master episodes.


“Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.”

-Chinese Proverb

The Doctor didn’t bother to ponder his course as he punched random coordinates into the TARDIS.  He always seemed to get to the place he was needed most anyway, so there was little point in being too particular. He tried not to think about the loss of his two latest companions.  It wasn’t like they had died; they had just chosen to leave him.

It was not in the nature of a Time Lord to wonder about the ‘could have been’s. Still…it wasn’t just that he was the last of his kind that made him feel alone. Martha had been a good friend, but he didn’t begrudge her the choice she had made. But Jack…

With his last regeneration he had let many of his memories of Jack fade. At the time it had seemed for the best, but if nothing else, this last adventure reminded him how much it was impossible for him to really forget anything.

When Jack had come tumbling back into his life, it had crashed down on him exactly what he had done to the young man. Well, he wasn’t that young anymore, but that was just the point. Jack was a prime example of just what could happen if one were to come too close to a Time Lord. Martha had been lucky to escape relatively unscathed.

But Jack…

And now he was gone again, back to that damn Torchwood Institute.  The Doctor knew, logically, that Jack was a good man who would only lead his team to do good things…but sometimes there were no good choices when dealing with a top-secret military organization.

In theory, it was a good idea for Earth to have a full time defensive force against hostile aliens. Many of them, the Doctor admitted, there because of him. Earth had been a closed planet before he had started visiting, Any type of visitation from any species had been forbidden. The reasons why, however, had been lost even to the Time Lords.

The Doctor hadn’t been able to resist- a pure planet untouched by the jaded cynicism of the other space faring races- the temptation had been overwhelming.

But once he had broken the taboo, others had followed, and some of them did not have cozy vacation plans in mind.

It was the story of his life- wherever he went, disaster followed. Even his home planet hadn’t survived.  That was why he never fought very hard when one of his companions chose to leave him…no matter how much he wanted to sometimes.

But it wasn’t all bad, he rationalized. He fixed what he could, and he had saved his beloved adopted planet many times over.  For good or for bad, the doors were open now and it was too late to go back.

The TARDIS shuddered and that jolted him out of his thoughts.  He looked at the control panel…instead of going to the new coordinates (a planet named Tatooine in a galaxy far, far away), the ship was instead headed back towards present day Earth.

“What are you doing, old girl?” He asked out loud, but while slightly sentient, the TARDIS had no way or answering him.

Then he felt it, the subtle ripples in time that only Time Lords were sensitive to, he barely had time to jump into a crash seat and tighten the straps before one of the worst temporal shockwaves he had ever felt battered the old ship.

The universe was shuddering.

The Doctor had only felt something like this once before…when Gallifrey had been destroyed. But the only other planet he was closely attached to was…Earth! The Doctor wrenched out of his seat despite the faint ripples that still battered the TARDIS. He ran over to the ship’s computers. “Now I get it, old girl, we just have to figure out just what happened.”

He quickly accessed the computer’s history files. For the most part, things were the same, but from the year 1999 on the text was rapidly changing. “Vampires…Gods…atomic war…but wait, Jack!”

Rose and Martha and everyone else would be fine, they wouldn’t even remember him since now the circumstances under which they met would never happen, and England would escape mostly unscathed…but Jack was from the future, and when the ripple in history reached his time, then he probably wouldn’t even get born.

The Doctor looked down at where the TARDIS was taking him. “Of course, that just might work, but we have to hurry- we will only have a few minutes with which to work.” If Jack were on the TARDIS when the wave hit his timeline, then he wouldn’t be affected since he would literally outside of time. He would escape, well, relatively unscathed. What he was going to attempt would be risky. The Doctor patted the console panel. “Thank goodness you at least know what you are doing.”

The interior lights brightened and dimmed in such a way as to say ‘Of course I do.’


Jack’s Perspective

-A few moments after he watched the Doctor’s TARDIS disappear. (but before he comes back)

Jack walked away from the Doctor and the kind of life he offered: carefree and adventurous- no need to feel responsible for anyone but yourself….the Doctor could always take care of himself. Well, mostly. Jack shrugged that thought off. It wasn’t his business, the Doctor would find himself someone new soon, he always did.

But Jack had responsibilities now. Jack had people to take care of. And unlike the Doctor, Jack wouldn’t abandon them when they needed him the most.
Jack knew he had abandonment issues, but knowing you had a problem was half the battle, right? Right?
Jack had long ago forgiven the Doctor, but that didn’t mean that his heart didn’t still hurt at times. He knew that after this last trip with the Doctor, he had gone from half in love with him, to head over heels in love with him.

It was all the more reason for him to leave the Doctor behind. He didn’t even know if the Doctor could love. Hell, he was an alien, did his lower parts even work the same? Jack had been with enough people, both alien and human, to know that there were some things out there who had vastly different ideas of what constituted sex.

Jack shook his head in disgust, none of this mattered. He had made his decision. He didn’t even know if or when he would see the Doctor again.

Suddenly, a flickering of blue appeared in his peripheral vision.  “Woah, is that all I needed to do before to get him to come back?” He walked over to the TARDIS. “Hey, did you forget something?” He called out.

The door slammed open and the Doctor pulled Jack inside quickly but he didn’t close the door.  “Listen, I know I let you down before, but I can make it right, but you have to decide right now- I can reverse what was done to you, but then you will die, very, very soon.” As if you never were alive at all, the Doctor thought, but didn’t say. “Or you can come with me now and live a very long life. I can’t promise you will be happy, but at least you will be alive.”

Jack reached out and shut the door; he wasn’t suicidal after all. “But what about my team? How bad is the…whatever it is that is about to happen?”

“They will be fine.” The Doctor said as he began to push and turn the dials on the console. “They won’t even miss you. Now hold on!” The Doctor shouted at the ship took off in a wave of massive turbulence.

Jack fumbled for one of the seats, and then a bolt of pain suddenly ripped through his chest. “What is happening to me?” He shouted through the pain.

The Doctor used the bars to make his way over to Jack. “The pain won’t last long, I think. The information I have isn’t as specific as I would like. Just myth and legend, really.”

“What are you talking about? What legend?” Jack gritted through gritted teeth.

The Doctor moved his hand to cover Jack’s chest, just in time to feel his new second heart give its’ first beat. “The legends on how to make a new Time Lord.”

“What?!” Jack yelled. “Is that what this is about? I know you hate being alone, but don’t you think changing my species is going a bit far?”

“Of course it would be!” The Doctor said with indignation. “But this was the only way I could save your life. Although, I am not going to pretend that I am upset about it.”

The pain in Jack’s chest was easing somewhat as the second heart began to beat more steadily. He was left gasping in relief. “What is going on here?” He asked between breaths.

The Doctor was still entranced by the beating syncopation in Jack’s chest. “There are two ways to make a Time Lord- we can be born, and then aligned with time with special ceremonies- that is when we actually get our second hearts, it has something to do with how we can exist both within time and out of it…

“The second way was a legend until just now. I took you out of time just as you were being erased by it. Captain Jack? Never existed. Although, I guess you can keep the Captain part of it to be your new Time Lord name.”

Jack grabbed the Doctor’s wrist to stop his rambling. “I need you to explain, in detail, what just happened. Don’t get side-tracked, don’t ramble, just tell me!”

The Doctor’s face sobered. “A few minutes after I left you, the TARDIS abruptly changed direction, and headed back towards Earth. We were hit by a temporal shockwave and I realized what was happening- the past was changing in a way that I couldn’t stop, there were just too many variables.

“The shock wave begins in 1999 and is traveling through time changing the future. Anyone born before 1999 would be fine, they still exist…but you are from Earth’s distant future…chances were that you wouldn’t even get born, and even if you had been, you would not be the same man with the same destiny. I couldn’t lose you, so I came back and gave you a choice- life or death…I was hoping you would chose life.”

The Doctor reached up and touched Jack’s face.  “Had you been born you will still exist out there, you wouldn’t have become a Time Lord…but you weren’t born, and since you still existed in the void between time and space, you were born again as a literal child of time. You probably have more right to use that title than I do.”

Jack frowned. “This wave? What happened to Rose and Martha? My team?”

The Doctor walked over to the computer console.  “As I said, they were born, but in this timeline they will never meet us. One of the things about being a Time Lord is being able to remember all of the pasts and futures that never end up happening. England survives the war for reasons I am not entirely sure of, so they are safe.”

The turbulence had calmed to almost nothing so Jack unbuckled his seat belt. The Doctor came over and helped him out of his chair. “Come on, I’ll take you to your old bedroom and you can lay down. When you wake up, we can decide where we want to go from here.”

Jack leaned on the Doctor. “I already know. I want to go back and find out what the hell happened.”

The Doctor smiled. “I had a feeling that you just might say that.”

“I just have one more question.” Jack said. “Can Time Lords have sex?”

The Doctor just burst out laughing.

“No really. I need to know. This is kind of important to me. You can stop laughing now. Oh, for Fuck’s sake.”



Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Sometime in Xena after Strife dies, but not too long after. (Specific knowledge of the show other than the main characters is not required.)


“Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos.”

-Will Durant


Ares sat back on the throne in his home temple. That had certainly been one of the strangest visits he had ever had, but one always meets such interesting people when one is a God.  He had seen this coming, but he had hoped it would hold off for a while.

There were always at least two ways that fate could go, and despite popular belief, what eventually happened had nothing to do with butterflies in China.

Ares summoned a box into his hands, and shrunk it and put it in his pocket as then he transported himself to somewhere very far away.

What it all came down to, in the end, was the fine arts of love and war.


Somewhere else in Greece.

It was one of those rare times when all of them were traveling together: Xena Gabrielle, Hercules, Iolaus, and Joxer the Mighty. For once they weren’t traveling to stop a war, but rather to a new sporting event known as the Olympics.  Ever vigilant, however, out intrepid heroes were always on the look out for danger.

Suddenly, the road ahead lit with the tell tale light of a god alighting. The visitor materialized as the God of war himself, Ares. Four of the heroes tightened their grips on their weapons while the fifth just lifted up his hand and waved.

Now, some might argue that this person was somewhat lacking in the mental department- but the truth was, none of the weapons they had could do any harm to a God, so maybe diplomacy was the better part of valor after all.  Joxer also relished the chance to see his own personal God in person.

“Ares, to what can we owe this visit?” Xena growled out.

Ares just sighed- this wasn’t going to be easy. “I have not come here to fight, as fun as that might be. The Gods need your help. The world is going to be in danger.”

“Ha! Did you Gods make a mess and now need someone to clean it up for you?” Hercules asked in a snide tone.

“Nothing like that. There is no war or demonic forces or monsters involved here- I am afraid that this is something far outside of the hands of men or Gods.” Ares said with resignation.  “The time has come for the Gods to fade from the world- all of the Gods. Mortals will still believe as they wish, but we will no longer be able to interfere in any way.

“The Twilight of the Gods.” Gabrielle whispered. “So, it’s true then?”

“It is something that has to happen, for better or worse.” Ares said as he conjured a chair to sit on. After a moments thought he created five more chairs for the others, after looking at them with skepticism, they all sat down.

“How could it be worse? Your interference has ruined countless lives…” Hercules got out before Ares cut him off.

“And saved many more. You have never been able to look beyond what is right in front you- you could never see the whole picture. When we relinquish control, mortals will prey upon each other until they are almost utterly destroyed. Only then, from the ashes, will they rise- stronger than ever before and no longer dependent on our interference.  To have the world you all dream of- free from the influence Gods, there is a very high price that has to be paid.” Ares said with vehemence. It was almost as if part of what he was saying was something he had heard before.

“How long will all of that take?” Iolaus asked. “Ten, fifteen years?”

“Two thousand, give or take.” Ares replied, much calmer. “Humans are an incredibly dense lot.”

“I don’t know if I feel glad that the tyranny of the Gods will end, or if I dread it because of the destruction it will cause.” Hercules said with a grimace. “If you are telling the truth that is.”

“It’s true, all right.” Ares assured them as he stared off into space. “And it will happen almost immediately…as soon as I leave here, in fact.”

Joxer looked devastated as he looked at his God. “Will you…will you die?” He choked out.

Ares looked at him with uncharacteristic sympathy. “No, I won’t even lose my powers. We will just be giving up that which makes us able to interfere. We will no longer be able to answer prayers, or meddle in anyone’s fate other than our own. You five are the key to ending all of this.”

“And how are we supposed to do that?” Joxer asked sadly. Not only was he going to lose his God- he would also have to participate in his destruction.

“Your job will be to take away our ability to control war.”

“Your way of bringing all of this about is to give up your sword?” Xena asked. “You’ve lost your sword before…it was chaotic, but would something like that really bring on the Twilight?”

“You misunderstand, I said ‘our’. I direct war, I give it purpose, and I make sure that it does what it needs to do- But in one way or another, all of the Gods deal with war and its various aspects.” Ares explained with belabored patience. This was why he always hated explaining things to mortals…they just wouldn’t stop asking questions.

“And when things go out of control, mortals will pray to you, and when you can’t do anything about their prayers, they will cease to believe.” Joxer looked more morose than ever.

Ares began a slow clap. “Out of the mouth of babes.”

“How are we supposed to take that away from you?” Hercules asked.

Ares took the small box out of his pocket and enlarged it to its original size. It looked ugly and heavy and had no apparent opening. “I assume that you will just carry it away from me.”

Gabrielle reached out to grab the box, but Ares quickly jerked it out of her reach. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“How are we supposed to take it away if we can’t tough it?” She asked impatiently.

“Only one of you has the ability to touch this box. It will be the job of the rest of you to protect this person until they get to where they need to go.” Ares said.

“Who will that person be?” Iolaus asked.

“Why, the greatest one among you.” Ares said with a wicked grin. “Joxer the Mighty.”

“Joxer?!” Gasped four voices simultaneously. The fifth voice just chocked out a single “Me?”.

“Yes, this is sort of like the concept of the ‘One Ring’.” Ares replied.

When the expression on the mortals’ faces just got more confused, Ares waved a hand, “Never mind, future thing. The point is- Joxer is the one who will be tempted least by this object, therefore he will be the one to carry it.”

“Why do you think that any of us will be tempted by an object that causes war?” Hercules asked indignantly.

“You wouldn’t normally be…but Kallisti can corrupt almost anyone, even through a box made from layers of every metal in the world.  Very few can even touch the box, and I can think of no mortal that can withstand touching Kallisti itself. There are but a handful of Gods that can do it either. Kallisti is literally made of every negative emotion in the world.”

“And yet, losing this awful object is what is going to bring about the Twilight?” Gabrielle asked skeptically.

“If it is no longer on Olympus, then none of us can control any of the negative emotions in mortals. It is simple to say that Kallisti represents war, but the reality goes much farther than that, and that is why its loss will effect every Deity in our pantheon.”

“But Joxer can touch it?” Xena asked, still quite confused.

“Let’s just say that Joxer has some personality quirks that makes this possible.” Ares confirmed.

“Why don’t you just take it and it hide it somewhere yourself?” Iolaus asked.

Ares looked at the sun sinking into the western horizon. “As soon as the sun sets, I will no longer be able to even touch the box. I need to get into safe hands by then. If the wrong sorts of people get a hold of Kallisti…” Ares just shrugged and left the rest unsaid. Everyone understood.

“Where do we need to take it?” Iolaus asked.

“There is a temple in the far east, in a place that will one day be known as Tibet.  The religion there seems to attract a lot of people like Joxer. They will be able to care for Kallisti there safely.”

“How will we know how to get there?” Joxer asked.

Ares motioned him over and handed him the box. “I will give you directions.” He touched Joxer’s temples and after a moment Joxer nodded. “I got it.” He said.

“Now, just because I can’t take Kallisti myself, that doesn’t mean I can’t help you. I can transport you as far as the boarders of Tibet. After that, it is another pantheon, and it would be quite rude of me to intrude. I will give you the supplies you will need as well. They will be waiting for you when you land.” Ares said. “When you get back across the border coming home, simply call on me and I will bring you back.”

“That’s it? That is all we need to do?” Hercules asked.

“Well, to begin with. I am speeding things up a bit since you all will be pretty helpful back here once things get rough. The transition will go better if the panic can held down. People like all of you, they will listen to you.” Ares explained as he stood and vanished the chairs, leaving the four heroes on the butts. Joxer had not sat back down.

Gabrielle opened her mouth to say something more but Ares cut her off, “Well, if that is all, Bon Voyage!” Then with a snap of his fingers, they all disappeared. Ares closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose and popped back to his home temple to get some much needed relaxation. He had just settled into his throne when a bright flashing light heralded the arrival of another God.
The God of peace came over a plopped down on his husband’s lap. He put his arms around him and kissed his forehead. “I hope you have a good reason for all of this.”

Ares looked at his greatest love. “I do. I am sorry I sprung it on you like this, but I just found out myself, and it was one of those time sensitive things…and I just didn’t have time to give you a heads up.” His brow furrowed, “Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else right now?”

“I am fully capable of controlling a doppelganger and having a conversation with you at the same time. I just can’t be gone too long. Luckily for me, they don’t really drag me in to many deep conversations.” Joxer replied.

“I can’t understand at all why you hang out with them.”

“Everyone has to have a hobby.” Joxer smiled. “I don’t think you told them quite the whole truth though.”

“Of course not. I needed them to do what I asked. Telling them that the two thousand years of chaos wouldn’t be ended by humans nobly rising to their destinies, but rather by the appearance of a much more powerful God, would have been counter productive.” Ares replied.

“Well, that is certainly true.” Joxer sighed before cocking his head as if hearing something far off in the distance. “I have to go, they need the directions. Are you sure Shangri La is where you want to put Kallisti?”

“Well, it certainly is a place where it will be hard to find by both mortals and Gods. The monks there will know what to do with it.”

“Ah.” Joxer said. “Good bye, love.” And with that he disappeared in a flash of light.

Out of the corner of his eye Ares saw the flickering of a big blue box appearing. After a moment, the door open and two men looked out. Ares waved them off. “You had better get going, or you are going to create a paradox when you land there again in a few minutes.”

The Doctor frowned. “Who are you, and how do you know that?”

“I am Ares, the God of war, and I know that because you told me so yourself an hour ago.”

The Doctor frowned. “I see. Well, we were looking for an event that causes a major time snafu in the future and we landed here. This is a bit of a long shot, but you wouldn’t happen to know who or what caused it, would you?”

“Well, you didn’t have time last time to give me all the details, but I was under the impression that you did it.” Ares replied just as he saw another flickering out of the corner of his eye. “Best run along now, it is not quite time yet to end the world, and doing so with a paradox in time is just tacky.”

The Doctor and Jack rushed back into the TARDIS and launched off as quickly as they could. As they roughed out the initial jolt, Jack looked over at the Doctor, “Well, we weren’t expecting that, now were we?”

“Oh, shut up,” The Doctor replied grumpily. “Now we have to figure out just what the hell we did this time.”

Jack moved next to the Doctor. “You know what always helps me relax when I’m stressed?”

The Doctor just buried his head in his hands. “Not now, you insatiable beast. I never should have told you that you can still have sex.”

“No problem, I totally understand, you aren’t ready yet. I wouldn’t want to rush you into to anything, Sugarplum.” Jack said with a wide grin.

The Doctor lifted his head and glared. “Run, now.”

Jack turned and moseyed out of the room.  As soon as he left, Doctor could have sworn that he heard the old Rolling Stones song ‘Time is on my side’ being whistled by Jack as he went down the hall.

“Cheeky Bastard.”


A/N- Listen, I always take questions, so feel free to ask anything if you get confused, it will help me pin point what needs work. I understand that this story can be a bit wacky. But no one gets to know what the Doctor and Jack did just yet. ^-~

Reviews and recommendations are always welcome. Thank you to every one who has reviewed so far.  


Chapter Text

Chapter 3

The Demon Realm from Demon Diary

*This was one of the crossovers from the ballroom scene in book 1. It is a very cute manga involving beautiful demons and one very childlike demon lord names Raenef. I recommend it, but I think I explain the gist of it well enough in the story that you can do without it.

The morning after Alucard sent Buffy to Eclipse

Buffy awoke with bright sunlight streaming down on her face. The bed she was lying on felt like a silk cloud and when she opened her eyes, rich walls covered in cream and gold greeted her. It was beautiful, but it was definitely not where she had gone to sleep. “Toto- something tells me that…”

“Oh, give it a rest- don’t you know how trite and cliché that phrase is?” said and acerbic voice from behind her.

Buffy turned towards the door. There stood a grumpy black haired woman in a long black maids gown with a white apron and cap. “Hey, aren’t you that crazy chick that got carted off by demons at the ball?”

“No.” Anita growled. “I am the vampire hunter who was kidnapped and forced into servitude by degenerate demons.”

“O…K…” Buffy said, deciding not to press that subject. “Moving right along, where am I? And how did I get here?”

“Apparently ‘King Dracula’ sent you here to Lord Raenef for some reason or another. I was just told to wait for you to wake up and then take you to the breakfast room.  As soon as you are dressed, I will escort you to the *ahem* Great and Terrifying Demon Lord Raenef.”  Anita said as she walked over to the wardrobe and opened it to reveal some of the most beautiful dresses Buffy had ever seen.

“Well, I certainly can’t complain about the hospitality here.” Buffy said as she pulled out a lavender gown with an empire waist and beaded sleeves.

Anita turned her back while Buffy changed. She looked down at the dowdy woolen gown she had been given and sighed. She thought back to how she had treated Jean-Claude and his offers of beautiful, if skimpy, clothes. Buffy tapped he on the shoulder and she spun around reflexively.

“I’m ready. Take me to his Lordiness.”

Anita’s right eye twitched. No one had the right to look that perky in the morning.


The Breakfast Room

Eclipse looked at his energetic husband. Even after so many years, he still looked and acted as if he were eighteen- the age he had been when he had become a demon lord.

They had come so far since then.  Raenef had long since learned how to be a proper demon lord…most of the time, but nothing would ever change who he was at heart- a lovable free spirit who had captured Eclipse’s soul almost from the start.

It had taken three years for Raenef to persuade Eclipse to marry him. It wasn’t the Eclipse hadn’t loved Raenef all those years, but their age difference could be measured in millennia and then there was the fact that Raenef was technically his boss on top of that.

But eventually, Eclipse had faced his issues and had decided that if he only ever dwelt on the negatives, he would never get any of the positives that life offered either. Since then, he had never looked back, and he had never been happier.

The only down side to their idyllic lives was how lonely the castle had become since Erutis and Chris had left to go out into the world to live their own lives.  Apart from their sporadic visits, few others came to pay call on them.  They had hoped that maybe Anita would learn from her mistakes and become a friend like Erutis and Chris had, but she was far too wrapped up in her anger and prejudice to see her own mistakes and correct them.

Still, at least with her around they didn’t have to clean. They had, however, learned the hard way not to let her cook.

When Alucard had asked them to take in Buffy and to teach her how to be a proper demon, they had leapt at the chance.

A noise at the doorway made them both look up. Anita stood there in all of her gloom and announced, “Miss Buffy Summers.” Then she turned back around and walked back to where ever it was she went when she didn’t have any duties.

Buffy entered the room and gave a shy wave. “Hi.”

Eclipse smiled. “Welcome, won’t you please sit down? My name is Eclipse, and this is my husband, the Demon Lord Raenef.”

Buffy sat down with a confused look on her face.  “How can you be a Demon Lord? You look- Ouch!” Buffy stopped as Eclipse kicked her under the table. She looked over at Raenef and saw the miniature storm clouds gathering over his head, she quickly changed direction. “You look so handsome.”

Raenef smiled brightly. “Thank you!” The storm clouds dissipated immediately.

Eclipse sighed in relief, he didn’t know what Raenef would do if someone else told him he looked like a child.

“So,” Buffy said brightly, “What am I doing here?”

“King Dracula sent you here so you could learn how to be a proper demon.” Eclipse answered.

Buffy looked shocked. “A demon? Me? You mean with scales and warts or horns or-“

“Most definitely not.” Eclipse cut in quickly. “Not unless you want them of course.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “I think I’ll pass, but seriously- how did I end up here all demon-y?”

“From what I understand, you were too damaged in your previous form to heal completely. The King had a choice, he couldn’t save your mind had you kept your previous body; he said something about a resurrection spell gone wrong- but he could save your mind if he gave you a new body.

“He is a dark God, so restoring you to full humanity was beyond him- but he could make you a high demon. You have free will and a great deal of power. You will also live a very long life.”

“Do I still have a soul?” Buffy asked apprehensively.

“Yes. The idea that only humans have souls is just propaganda put out by those who want to justify killing those who are not like themselves.” Eclipse motioned to his husband who was happily eating animal shaped pancakes on the other side of the table. “Does he look like a soulless monster bent on the destruction of the mortal realm to you?”

Buffy hid a grin. “I see your point.”

“Like any creature, you are what you choose you be. The King did suggest a job for you if you wanted it.  He wants you to become the patron demon of dark heroes. The sort of heroes who do want is right, even if they do not always do what is considered necessarily good.” Eclipse looked sad for a moment. “In the not so distant future we will be in need of people like them and they will need all of the help they can get.”

Buffy nodded, it did sound like something she wanted to do. “I think I understand what you mean, but why did Alucard send me to you?”

Eclipse flushed slightly. “Teaching demons is what I do, however, since Raenef came along few demons have come to me for training. I think they are afraid of turning out like him.”

Raenef looked angrily. “And just what is wrong with me?”

Eclipse looked over with an apologetic look. “Nothing, you are a very talented and powerful demon lord, but you are often underestimated and while that can be advantageous for you- giving you an unexpected edge in battle, it doesn’t look so good for me.” Eclipse said wryly.

Buffy smiled. “Well, I think you will do just fine for me. Now where can I get some of those pancakes?”

Laughter echoed out into the morning.


Ok, this chapter was supposed to be much longer...and there will be more next week. I have been delayed lately because I got a new job- a big one. But I have to move and everything, so things may be a bit spacy for a few weeks or so. But no worries, things are going fine.

Anyway- I love all the reviews I have been getting. With a major crossover like this, feedback is essential. It really does help me write faster.  We will be getting back to Hellsing Manor and the hijinks there in the next chapter.


Chapter Text

Chapter 4

“Some are born mad. Some remain so.”
-Author: Samuel Beckett,
Source: “Waiting for Godot”

-The morning of the attack on Hellsing Manor.

*Chase/Foreman is not a pairing I plan to write into this fic, just so you know.

Chase and Foreman had been to the Tower of London, ridden in a double decker bus, eaten their fill of fish and chips, and they were now riding the famous London Eye.  They were having the time of their lives, however--

Chase looked over at his partner. “Do you think we should go and get Cameron out of the asylum now?”

“Probably.” Foreman replied indifferently. “After we tour Parliament?”

Chase shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”


The Next Day
-At a random, unnamed mental hospital near Hellsing Manor.

Chase and Foremen walked up to the secretary. “I am Doctor Chase, and this is Doctor Foremen. We are here to pick up Doctor Cameron. We have the paperwork necessary to take custody of her…”

“You won’t need it.” The secretary cut in. “She is being released as we speak.”

“Really? That is surprising. We were under the impression that she had totally gone around the bend.” Foreman replied with a puzzled expression.

“We thought she was out of it as well, ranting about vampires, but then we saw the news today.”

Now they were really confused. “What was on the news?” Chase asked.

“Here, let me show you. The coverage has been non-stop for hours now.” The secretary led them down a corridor to a waiting room that had a television in it.

The two doctors watched the newscast with an air of incredulity.

Chase was bewildered, but somewhat unsurprised. The existence of the supernatural would certainly explain some of the mysteries they had encountered…including the one that had whisked House and Wilson away.

Foreman just watched in bemusement. When House and Wilson had been whisked away by that strange group of people, he had doubted that he would hear about them again in this sort of fashion. He briefly wondered how much trouble House had gotten himself into this time.

“I told them, I told them all.”

Chase and Foreman jumped at the sound of a hoarse voice behind them. They spun around.

Cameron stood there in bedraggled sweats and lank hair. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes had taken on a manic cast.  

Chase recovered first. “Cameron! Uh…it’s good to see you. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes,” She said calmly. “I am ready.”

“Great, we have the plane tickets to go home, and if we hurry, we should be able to make the six o’clock flight.” Chase said as he looked at his watch.

“Oh no, we can’t go home. We haven’t saved House yet.”

Foreman’s eyebrows shot up. “Why do we need to rescue House?”

Cameron pointed to the screen. “Those vampires have him. I saw him and Wilson go into that…Dracula mansion along with some other people. I tried to go in after him and there were these guards with weird red eyes and pointy teeth, and when I told the police they put me in here.”

“Did House go in there unwillingly?” Foreman asked.

“No, he and Wilson seemed to be going along happily…but I am sure that they didn’t know what they were getting into.” Cameron replied with fervor.

“He knew.” Foreman said quietly. “It is why he came here. He found out that vampire blood might be able to cure him.”

“How do you know this?” Chase asked.

“Remember that kid that healed so fast? His two fiancées were vampires. They used their blood to speed his healing. I think that when House and Wilson found out about it, they decided to come here to get House’s leg fixed under the pretense of finding a new specialist.”

“You knew those two were vampires and didn’t tell us?” Chase asked incredulously.

“And you just let House and Wilson go with them? Are you insane?” Cameron screeched.

Foreman winced. “House and Wilson are grown-ups. They are fully capable of deciding for themselves what they want to do. I didn’t tell anyone because they swore me to secrecy. I got the feeling that I would have been literally risking my neck to go against those people.”

Chase pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is just too much.”

“Exactly!” Cameron exclaimed. “Can we go now?”

“Home?” Foreman asked hopefully.

“No, you idiot, to go rescue House!”

“I don’t see how it could hurt to at lease check on House and Wilson.” Chase added.

“Fine!” Foreman said, out voted. “But don’t look at me when this goes south.”


Hellsing Manor

No one wanted to break the silence. The stony look on Integra’s face was more than enough to keep down any unnecessary chatter. No one was willing to chance her wrath-- except, of course…

Alucard strode into the dining room smiling so widely all of his pointy teeth gleamed in the light. He swooped over to Integra. “Good morning, my darling wife.” He said as he placed a quick kiss on the top of her head before sitting down beside her. Integra’s glare darkened further.

Cordelia’s eyes widened. “You two got married?! When? How?”

Alucard laughed. “Last night, and I can marry anyone I choose, including myself.”

Cordelia looked crushed. “But what about the wedding? I was so looking forward to planning it. It would have been the social event of the decade!”

Everyone just stared.

Integra began to chuckle quietly and slowly it grew louder and louder until it filled the room. Soon, everyone was laughing…except for Cordelia who just sat back and pouted.

Walter walked up behind her and bent down to her ear. “It’s all right. You still have our wedding to plan, and you can make it anything you want it to be.”

Cordelia turned her head and gave Walter a quick kiss. “I’ll take you up on that.” She said with a grin that would have made lesser men tremble- Walter, however, just grinned back.

One of the vampire footmen entered the room. “There are visitors for the Doctors House and Wilson.” He announced.

Wilson looked bewildered. “For us? Who would visit us here? Unless…” He looked over and met House’s eyes. “Ducklings.” They said in unison.

Walter looked startled. “You are being visited by waterfowl?”

Wilson just grimaced and looked at the footman. “You might as well show them in.”

“As you wish, sir.”

Everyone turned and eyed the door with curiosity.

House looked at Wilson. “I could get used to this whole rich with servants gig.”

Wilson elbowed him in the side.

“See? It’s the same old House, safe and sound.” Foreman said as he observed the byplay between the two men from the door. “Can we go home now?” He asked the two at his side futilely.

Cameron ignored him and rushed into the room. “House! You have to get out of here immediately! You are in danger!” She exclaimed frantically.

House scowled at her, clearly unimpressed. “I thought we made it clear before, you are not welcome here, Doctor Cameron.”

Wilson looked at his lover. “I could always drag her out by her ear again.”

House grinned wolfishly and kissed Wilson. “I love it when you go all caveman. Makes me want to be drug back to your cave and ravished.”

Chase stared in shock and Foreman covered his eyes. “God, TMI, TMI!”

Chase looked at Cameron. “I’m getting the feeling that this isn’t the first time you have seen House and Wilson here in England.”

“No, it isn’t.” Wilson replied. “The last time we saw her she was sleeping in our bed. We found her when we got back to the room a few nights ago, we had to kick her out forcibly.”

“I am beginning to think we should have left her in that asylum.” Foreman said wryly.

The rest of the room watched the unfolding drama raptly.

House looked at Cameron in amusement. “You ended up in an asylum? How did you manage that?”

“She went into a police station two nights ago ranting about how you had been kidnapped by vampires.” Foreman answered.

House smirked. “That would be one way of putting it, I guess.”

Walter suddenly remembered his manners. “Would the three of you like to sit down? There is plenty to eat, I assure you.”

Chase and Foreman walked over to the table and sat down in two of the empty chairs. “Sounds good to me. I’m starving.” Chase answered.

“Very good.” Walter replied. “And you, miss?”

“Whatever.” Cameron said as she sat down with a huff.

Walter motioned to one of the footmen and three extra place settings were added to the table.

Foreman looked over at House. “So, were you able to get your leg healed?”

House snorted into his cup. “You could say that.”

Foreman looked up and took a closer look at House. “Holy shit!”

Chase and Cameron looked up quickly. Cameron was the first to make the connection. “They turned you? How could you let them do that?”

“You too, Wilson?” Chase asked when he noticed that he also had the telltale red eyes.

Wilson took House’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Well, I wasn’t going to let him live forever without me.” He said with dry humor.

“You sold your immortal soul for a cure?” Chase asked in disgust.

Alucard decided it was time to step in. “They didn’t ‘sell’ anything. Vampires do not lose their souls, and Hell isn’t what most mortals think it is.  It is a separate dimension with its own population, not a place where ‘bad’ humans go when they die.”

“And how do you know all of this?” Chase asked skepticism.

“Because both vampires and the dimension known as Hell are my creations, along with many other things.” Alucard answered.

“Who are you?” Cameron asked.

“I am Dracula, but my friends call me Alucard. You,” He said, indicating the ducklings. “You may call me Your Highness.” Alucard rarely bothered enforcing the use of his title, but when he did do it, he played it to the hilt.

The three young doctors were speechless.

A slow clapping broke the thick silence. “Damn, but I haven’t been this entertained…well, since last night, but is there a floor show at every meal here?” Spike asked with a grin.

Xander and Angel reached out in unison from either side of him and slapped him on the back of his head.

“Ouch! What the hell, mates?”

“Mind your manners, whelp.” Angel growled.

“Rude vampires sleep on the couch.” Xander added.

“Or they at least get a good spanking. “Angel mused after a moment.

Spike zoned out for a moment at the mental image that produced, then he stood abruptly and dragged his two lovers with him. “Oh, well, been a bad vampire, I have. No sense in putting off the punishment ‘till later. Got to face the music, I do.”

Angel and Xander’s laughter echoed behind them as Spike successfuly dragged them out of the room.

Cordelia looked at the empty doorway speculatively. “I wonder if they are going to need a wedding planner.”

The room, save for the Ducklings, howled in laughter. Foreman pinched the bridge of his nose. The sooner they could get out of this mad house, the better.


Integra’s Study
-After lunch.

House and Wilson sat on the love seat before the fire. The three younger doctors sat across from them on a long antique Victorian sofa. Alucard and Integra pretended to work at her desk while they shamelessly listened in. Not much progress had been made since lunch. House and Wilson tried to be patient, but little was getting through.

“How do you expect to practice medicine when you get back? Sooner or later people are going to wonder about the red eyes and the liquid diet.” Cameron said, still miffed beyond belief.

“We’re not going back.” Wilson replied calmly. “We are staying here. We have been offered positions with the Court.”

Foreman looked interested for a moment. “How does that pay?”

Chase elbowed him in the side and Foreman winced. “Hey, it was a legitimate question!”

Alucard looked over with a smirk. “You mean you don’t think that they want to help us out of the goodness of their hearts?” He asked in an innocent voice.

Wilson snorted and House tried to look angelic. He failed.

“That would require altruism, and I am not sure that House even knows what that is.” Chase said scornfully.

Alucard looked at the Australian with distain. “House does not need to work at all if he does not want to, he has plenty of money.  The good doctors, however, have agreed to stay and help us out.”

“I have money?” House asked with sincere surprise.

“Vlad had his own fortune. It has only grown since his death since he wasn’t around to spend it. I can’t think of anyone more entitled to it than you.” Alucard replied. “When Vlad died and I was captured, our wills put the money into some demon stock funds. No one can make money better than demons, not even goblins. Last I checked, your net worth was somewhere in the neighborhood of three hundred million pounds.”

“Holy shitting gold bricks, Batman.” House exclaimed in shock.

Wilson just smiled. “Does this mean that you get to pay for our lunches from now on?”

“No,” House looked at Wilson seriously. “This is OUR money, you know that right?”

“I didn’t want to assume—“

“Fuck that. Everything I have is yours-- now and forever, got that?” House growled as he pulled Wilson in for a passionate kiss.

For a moment it looked as if the two men were going to let things get out of hand. The fact that they had yet to consummate their bond was weighing more and more heavily on them.  Fortunately, or not, someone had a few pressing questions that couldn’t wait.

“Who the hell is Vlad?” Foreman asked suddenly, jolting House and Wilson back to Earth.

House growled in frustration. “An old friend.” He told his erstwhile students. “It’s not important. What is important is getting you back home safely.” He said as he stood and motioned them towards the door.

“We can have one of the human drivers take you to the airport in a limo-- you’d like to ride in a limo, wouldn’t you? Of course you would, materialistic little Americans that you are.” House spoke rapidly, not letting them get a word in edgewise.

“We will even get you first class tickets, my treat. You can just go home and give Cuddy my love, and forget you ever came here, all right?”

House opened the door and shoved them outside into the care of one of the footmen that Integra had called when she heard House begin to shoo them out.

Before they could say another word, he shut the door and leaned against it.  He looked at the other three. “Well, we’d best let them take their leave, it is a long way to Princeton, you know?”

Wilson began to laugh. “Damn, I owe Methos ten bucks. You stood them for about two hours longer than I thought you would.”

House scowled and walked over to Wilson and leaned over to his ear. “If you don’t get upstairs and into bed in the next five minutes, the only bets you will be making will be about how long it is that I will be making you sleep on the couch.”

Wilson jumped up, grabbed House by the arm and began to drag him out into the hall. At the door he turned back to Alucard and Integra. “Have a lovely afternoon, we’ll see you…well, before the week is out, at least.” He said before he hauled House over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and strode out.

House simply smiled and waved a cheery goodbye to the royal couple behind Wilson’s back.

The door slammed behind them and Alucard looked over at his wife. “My, people do come and go quickly around here.”

Integra just rolled her eyes and went back to work.  Alucard was turning out to be a tremendous source of paperwork.  Suddenly she yelped as she was hoisted over a shoulder.  “What are you…”

“Sex now, paperwork later.” He said to get her riled up. Sure enough, she began to yell and pound on his back a moment later. Alucard grinned as he began to teleport. She was so hot when she was feisty.


Xander, Spike, and Angel’s Room
-Somewhere about the same time.

Xander looked up from where he was licking Spike’s abs into submission to Angel who was similarly occupied with Spike’s neck. “What are we going to do now?” He asked his two lovers.

Spike growled. “Whatever the bloody hell it is, it had better involve getting my pants off in the next fifteen seconds.”

Xander laughed and moved his hands to Spike’s waistband and began to tease the pale flesh there. “I meant, what are we going to do next, relationship wise?”

Angel lifted his head and looked down at Xander. “I don’t know about the two of you, but I plan on bonding us together as soon as possible.  I don’t want the slightest chance of the two of you ever slipping away from me.

Spike twisted around and gave Angel a short, but fierce, kiss. “I love it when you become obsessively possessive.” He said when he broke away.

Xander looked up with hungry eyes. “I just love you both, period.  Now how do we do this bonding thing?”

Angel looked thoughtful. “The King has offered to do it. I imagine that we just need to let him know when.” He looked at his two lovers. “But not today, today I just want to lounge in bed with the two of you, and I know if we step one foot out of those doors we will get wrapped up in something before we know it.”

“Sounds good to me.” Xander answered. Then he opened Spike’s fly, the buttons of which he had been undoing during the conversation, and took advantage of the blonde’s habit of going commando.

“Fuck, pet! I always knew you had a mouth made for sin.”

Xander just hummed in agreement, sending Spike into another world, while Angel bit down on his neck, making him scream in ecstasy. It wasn’t much longer before he was lying boneless between his two lovers.

Angel gave a devil’s grin. “And let that be a lesson to you—bad boys always get what is coming to them in the end.”

Spike quirked a tired eyebrow, “Promise?”


House and Wilson’s bedroom
-About the same time really.

Wilson arched beneath House’s skilled hands.  His lover seemed determined to map the expanse of his body and was doing quite a good job of it.  When House finally took him into his mouth, Wilson thought he would lose it right then and there, but a firm grip around the base of his cock had him bucking in frustration.

Slick fingers began to probe his entrance, and he didn’t really want to think about where the lube had come from, but he had the feeling that the Hellsing butler was just a little too anticipatory. A gentleman liked to have some secrets. Then House discovered his prostate and thinking became an obsolete function.

House lifted his mouth. “Like that? I always knew you would make a magnificent bottom boy.”

“Just shut up, you gloating bastard, and get on with it. Sarcasm later, fucking now.” Wilson gritted out between clenched teeth.

“Your wish is my command.” House said with relish. He probed deeper into Wilson, working in two, and then three fingers. He knew, theoretically, that it was unlikely that they would be able to hurt one another now that they were undead, but House still liked to cover his bases.  

Finally, Wilson reached down and grabbed House by the hair. “Get in me now, or you are a dead man.”

House smirked. “Too late.” But he was already moving up into position between Wilson’s legs.  He entered slowly, but soon, Wilson’s legs wrapped around him and thrust him forward faster. When he was seated to the hilt, House had to pause for a moment. Move too quickly now, and he knew it would be over in a minute. Being inside Wilson was like a heaven he had never dreamt of.

He took a deep breath and leaned down to kiss his husband hard. He looked into his eyes. “Ready?”

“More than you will ever know.” Wilson whispered as House began to move. It felt nothing like he had ever imagined. It was rough, and deep, and more intimate than anything he had ever done.  It wasn’t long before the two men were gasping harshly. Wilson came first, still over sensitive from before, and House followed when he felt him shudder beneath him.

It was a long time before either of them got their breath back. House opened his mouth to say something, but Wilson covered it with his hand. After a moment of looking into Wilson’s eyes, House nodded and quietly laid down on top of Wilson to sleep.

Sometimes there are no words that can say all that the heart can feel.



A/N- Oh thank god, finally, a chapter done. I have been working on this one off and on for over a month. Am I really that slow? No. But I have moved to a new city to take a new job and that has been massively distracting. Hopefully things will settle down now.

In other news, Eureka will be joining into this mad house. I recently discovered than show and it is so perfect for this story. It will help me with so many things. If you haven’t seen the show, you should. It is awesome.

Anyway, reviews and recommendations are very welcome.


Chapter Text

Chapter 5

"Through me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric moved:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I shall endure.
All hope abandon, ye who enter here."

-Dante Alighieri, Divine Comedy


-Somewhere in the present.


The TARDIS had its own agenda these days.  It didn’t matter what the Doctor requested, it simply went where it felt it needed to go.  The growing mystery of the fate of the Earth, and their part in it, was worrisome.  After they had left ancient Greece, they had come to this ruined Tibetan temple in the heights of the Himalayas. The damage hadn’t been caused by age, however, it had been destroyed quite recently…relatively speaking. The bullet casings left behind were definitely late twentieth century, and the large tracks left by military vehicles were less than a few days old.

It wasn’t clear why the temple had been attacked, or why they had been taken there, but something about the destruction seemed important. In the end, they discovered nothing more significant than the fact that the temple was little more that two thousand years old and that the style of the temple was unmistakably Greek in origin. It was completely out of place.

They had searched for two days, but they still could not find any clue as to why the TARDIS had led them there.  

“Maybe something in the temporal wave knocked your ship a little out of balance?” Jack asked as they walked back to the TARDIS for the evening.

“No, it would have shown up on the diagnostics…which I have ran at least five separate times since then.” The Doctor replied wearily as he opened a blue door and held it for Jack to go in first. “No, there was a reason we were brought here, I just have no idea what it is.”

As soon as the Doctor shut the door behind himself, he felt it lock and the ship began to run through the cycles it needed to in order to take off. He rushed over to the console. “Where are you taking us now, old girl?” The alien computers told him nothing and a few seconds later they felt the telltale vibrations that indicated they were traveling through space and time.



-Somewhere in the far distant future.
…Not Tibet


After a rough landing, the door of the ship had opened and let them out onto a sparkling vast expanse of bone white sand.  The two men walked out and looked around…looked down—or rather, it was a sand of white bone and desert glass.  When they looked closer, they realized that there was not really much sand at all. Human bone, worn away into rough gravel, covered the land for as far as they could see.

The bones could have been mistaken for rocks, but some of the more intact pieces showed them for what they were.  

Jack knelt down and ran his fingers lightly over some of the fragments. “What happened here?”

“What had to happen.” Said a voice from behind them.

Jack startled and fell over in surprise, and the Doctor spun around to see who had spoken.  Jack scrambled up quickly and turned to stand with his friend. In front of them, they saw a pale youth on a black horse. He had deep red lips, and long black hair.
He was the most beautiful being they had ever encountered, and, if the Doctor wasn’t mistaken—inhuman.

“What are you talking about? And who are you?” Jack asked, altogether confused and attracted. However, some instinct Jack hadn’t known he possessed told him not to act on his arousal.

“I brought you here to tell you two things you needed to know.”

“What things are those?” The Doctor asked seriously. He could tell that the seemingly youthful man in front of him would have no appreciation for small talk or humor.

“The first is, you cannot stop the war.  I know you have seen a future where it does not happen, and that you have seen much farther into Earth’s future than where you are now—but that path can no longer be taken, not without destroying the entire world and much of the surrounding galaxy.  Humanity crossed a line, and for better or worse, they have to pay the price that comes with it.

“The second is that while what I am asking you to do goes against your heroic nature, remember that sometimes a true hero has to sacrifice everything if he wants to save anything.” The young man turned his horse around and began to ride off.

The Doctor froze at those words. They were words he had often thought, but had never spoken.  Jack moved to speak, but the Doctor  covered his mouth to stop him, he then turned back to the shadow rapidly sinking into the distance. “Who told you that?” he yelled out.

It was a very distant voice that answered him. “You did.” And before the two men could blink, the mysterious man had faded from view.

Jack removed the Doctor’s hand. “Well, if he isn’t a bright ray of sunshine.” He said with a frown.

The Doctor just turned back to the ship and entered silently, a pensive look on his face. He walked over to the console and frowned at the information now displayed on the screen.

Jack saw the look and walked over. “What is it?”

The Doctor just pointed to one of the logistics panels.

Date- June 21st, 12,378 A.D.
Location- The city formerly known as Los Angeles.

Jack sat down on the floor suddenly feeling slightly nauseous. “Shit.”

“I am afraid, my dear Captain, that that does not even begin to describe out current situation.”


St. Louis, MO
Circus of the Damned

St. Louis was as beautiful and as ugly as it always was, it was just like any other city in that respect. Tonight however, tonight people sat glued to their seats as the Master of the City addressed the press. In light of recent events, people wanted to know more from him than ever.

“Many of you have seen the broadcast from yesterday where the King of the underworld spoke out for the first time. In this city, and in many others across the United States, humans and preternatural beings have co-existed in a sort of uneasy peace. It is important to note, however, that this has not been the case in much of the rest of the world.

“In essence, we now have a great advantage over many of the other cities of the world. It is my hope that the human/metahuman dynamic here will be a shining example to the rest of the world. We stand to enter an unprecedented age of peace if people can greet these changing times with an open mind.  It has to be understood that the King’s laws are absolute. By his decree, no supernatural creature will be able to hunt human prey. If they do so it will be an instant death sentence and it will be carried out more swiftly than any human justice could possibly manage.

“In return for this protection, the only thing asked is that no supernatural being is attacked unprovoked.  Self-defense will be quick and absolute.  Such is the mandate of the King.  Copies of the King’s decree will be made available to the public as soon as they are printed along with a brief history of King Dracula.  We ask that further questions be held until after the release of those documents. Thank you, and good evening.”

Jean-Claude stepped down off of the stage and away from the press. He was quickly whisked downstairs into he bowels of the macabre circus where soon he would be put to a much harsher interview.

“Where’s Anita?” Richard asked first before jean-Claude even had a chance to sit down.

He proceeded to do so while he gathered his thoughts. The day they had gotten back he had arranged this meeting. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but it had to be done. He looked around the rag-tag group of friends and lovers Anita had collected over the years and sighed. What a mess. Not to mention that the power vacuum that her disappearance would cause would be a problem.

“Anita’s location is currently unknown to me.” He said at last.  It was perfectly true. He had never been to the demon realm and couldn’t find his away around if he tried. “She is in no danger, however.”  Well, the King had seemed mostly confident that they were unlikely to kill her. Mostly.

“What happened?” Micah asked quietly.

Asher reached up and swept his hair off of his face. “The King is magnificent. I see this as the beginning of an age of miracles.”

The room was speechless. Many of them avoided looking at Asher’s face out of habit so no one had noticed the healing.

“Jesus.” Richard gasped as he reached involuntarily towards the blonde.  He caught himself just before he touched Asher’s face. “But that still doesn’t tell us what happened to Anita, and to the triumvirate—I felt it break while you were gone”

“When we explained what had happened to the King and all of the bad side-effects it seemed to be having, he took mercy and dissolved it, taking away Anita’s succubus with it. He also granted Anita’s deepest wish…to be a normal human.”  There, that was a nice enough way to put it.

Many grew quiet as they recalled the pain Anita had inadvertently cause on her quest for so called ‘humanity’.

Jean-Claude continued. “She was unable to return with us, but even if she does come back, it is very unlikely that she want to have anything to do with the supernatural community.”

Nathaniel sat up from where he had been curled up on the floor. He had been with them in England, along with Jason, but the two vampires had been very closed mouthed about what had gone on.  “You don’t think she will want to be with us anymore?” He asked forlornly.

Jean-Claude got up and knelt in front of the young leopard. “I do not know little one, but you will always have a place with us. You must understand that Anita was not well, and hadn’t been for a long while. I don’t know if she could have ever given you the attention that you truly deserve.”

Jean-Clause looked around. “I don’t think it was something any of us wanted to face, but Anita’s problems were quickly becoming everyone’s problems.  We need to accept the fact that now that she is better, she may not want to be around us anymore.  I think that in her mind, we were all to blame for what happened to her.”

“You still haven’t told us why she hasn’t come back.” Damien said from the corner.  His un-life seemed to be back to what it was before Anita had become his master and he didn’t know how he felt about that yet.

Jean-Claude stood and walked over to sit down beside Asher. They shared a long look and finally Asher gave a slight nod, and that seemed to be all Jean-Claude needed.  “Anita made one last small mess for herself. Nothing deadly.” He added quickly, half lying through his teeth. “But it was something she has to resolve for herself. There was no possible help that we could have given without making things worse for her. I have been assured, however, that she will be returned as soon as she is through.”

“What did she do? And to whom?” Richard asked, half curious and half in dread of the answer.

Asher shrugged. “Insulted a very powerful demon lord, but he King has assured us that her punishment will not be lethal.” Probably.

Damon paled even further, if such a thing was possible. “High Demons?”

Asher nodded.

Damon was silent for a moment in sheer awe. “The King is powerful indeed if he could get one of them to spare her life.”

Indeed.” Jean-Claude agreed with a half smile.

“Wait, demons?” Micah said with anger. “Shouldn’t we be planning a way to rescue her? We can’t just leave her there.”

Jean-Claude motioned towards the door. “By all means, lead the way.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Micah demanded.

“He means,” Damon cut in, “that there is no way to get to her even if he wanted to.  High Demons are not like the common monsters we sometimes encounter. They are insanely powerful beings who can turn you to dust with their touch, or burn you alive by looking at you.  They also live on a completely separate plane of existence. There is no way into that realm unless you are invited by someone who already lives there.”

“So we are just going to let her stay there?” Richard asked.

“Let us not forget that Anita got herself into this mess.” Asher replied. “In the demon realm, what she did was a capital offense. The King may have managed to save her life, but there is no denying that she still has to make some reparations. We can’t get her out of it just because you think it must be uncomfortable for her.”

“So we just wait, then?” Micah asked sullenly.

“Yes,” Jean-Claude replied. “We can only wait.”


Hellsing Manor
~A few nights later…

Alucard sat on the roof of the great manor. It was midnight, but there was no darkness to his eyes. He watched as his people finished cleaning up the debris left behind from the botched attack.

The bodies had long been carted off by the British government for identification, but the disposal of the abandoned military fell to the residents of Hellsing Manor.  What could be salvaged would be going into the Hellsing arsenal.

Suddenly, a soft droning on the roof behind him had him turning around.  Alucard raised an eyebrow. Now if this wasn’t one of the strangest things he had ever seen. A glowing blue police box was slowly phasing into reality on the roof behind him.

Alucard stayed seated as the door opened and two handsome men stumbled out. They gave a start when they saw him sitting in the dark, staring at them.

“Ah. Greetings!”  The Doctor said to the strange man in a tacky red suit.

“Greetings.” Alucard replied with a shark’s grin. “Who are you, and what are you doing on my roof?”

“Well,” the Doctor began, “I am the Doctor, and this is… the Captain, and we are on a bit of a goose chase. I don’t suppose if you could tell us if nuclear war has broken out yet, can you?” He no longer cared so much about keeping a low profile or beating around the bush. The TARDIS wouldn’t have taken them there if not for a reason.

“Nuclear war?” Alucard asked with a raised eyebrow. “No, I haven’t heard anything about that lately. May I ask, are you Timelords?”

The Doctor startled. “You know what we are?”

“It was a guess. I have not heard of many others leaping about in time. I have seen some in the past, although, they may not have seen me.” Alucard replied cryptically.

The Doctor shrugged. “Quite true, I suppose. In that case, would you mind telling me the month and year we are in?”

 “It is June of 1998.”

“Ah, well, that explains why there is no war yet.” The Doctor said, relieved.  

“Then why are we here?” Jack asked suddenly.

Alucard had some questions of his own. “Perhaps you should tell me about this war of yours and I will see if there is any light I can shed on that.”

The Doctor thought for a moment, it usually was a rather bad idea to discuss the future, especially a disastrous future, with someone of the past.

In the end, the Doctor decided to take a risk.  “A few days ago our time, relatively speaking, something changed in the past causing a horrific war in 1999. Since then, we have been looking for the reason why. We know we cannot change it, but we really just want to know.”

“Ah.” Alucard said as he looked back over the ruined lawn. “And your ship has been leading you around giving you clues, but no real answers.”


“You may be looking at this the wrong way. The why you would have found out in time, when the history had finished changing, it would have been added to your ships records like all history is. That is not why your ship is hurrying things along.  Whether you like it or not, I think you are going to be a part of this history, and your ship is helping you the only way it can.

“You are here right now, because there is something for you to do.  Gods are guiding your foot steps, and that can be a precarious situation.” Alucard bounced up. “Come to dinner, my wife would like to meet you, and I think I need to hear your story from the beginning.”

The Doctor and Jack exchanged looks and then with a shrug, they turned to follow the mysterious man inside.  


The next day.


Xander was hiding.

Ever since she had found out that Alucard and Integra had cheated her out of planning a royal wedding, Cordelia had been on a rampage to plan some sort of wedding for someone.

House and Wilson had already bonded, and Willow and Tara didn’t really feel the need, so that left Xander, Spike, and Angel.

Not that she wasn’t planning her own wedding, she was, vigorously, but that would take months and she wanted to have a wedding now. Walter was no help, as far as he was concerned, whatever Cordelia wanted, she got.

Someone tapped Xander’s shoulder from behind and he almost jumped out of his skin. He spun around to see Alucard standing behind him. “Oh, it’s just you.” He said with a sigh of relief.

Alucard raised an eyebrow. “You know, I don’t think I have ever been referred to as ‘just you’ before.”

Xander flushed. “Look, I’m sorry, but right now you are not nearly as scary as Cordelia and her wedding plans for Angel. Spike, and I.”

Alucard burst out laughing. “It’s quite all right. Sometimes it is nice to be thought of as ‘just you’. I take it that tartric ice sculptures and the Vienna Boys’ Choir are not your cup of tea?”

Xander shuddered as he remembered some of Cordelia’s latest ideas for his wedding. “That is all so very wrong.”

Alucard put his arm around Xander’s shoulders and began to lead him down the hall. “What would you say if I told you that I had a mission for you and the boys that would get you out if here for a while?”

“Thank God.”

“You’re welcome.”


I am late, and this has become quite the unsightly habit for me. I am writing, never fear, I have quite a lot written actually, but some scenes come easier than others.  This story will never be abandoned, so don’t worry over my long absences. Last fall it was the fact that I had two jobs that kept me swamped, this year it is my new job that is draining. I just got back from a month in Kansas City, which is a beautiful place.

Please read and review, hearing from people helps me write., and feedback helps me become a batter author.

Chapter Text


Isaac Asimov:

    The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but rather, "hmm.... that's funny...."


Integra’s Study
Hellsing Manor
June 20, 1998

Methos sat calmly in front of Integra’s empty desk. A footman had gone to fetch Alucard from wherever he was. Duncan and Joe were off elsewhere, Methos had wanted to have this conversation alone.

“You look deep in thought, old friend.” Alucard’s voice said from the doorway.

Methos looked up, startled. Alucard had materialized directly and silently into Integra’s desk chair. “I was,” Methos answered, “I wanted to tell you that Duncan and I have decided to stay—Joe as well, he seems to think of this as some sort of great adventure.”

Alucard smiled. “I am glad to hear it. We have had some good times, you and I. I also need someone trustworthy to leave in charge when circumstances prevent the presence of Integra or myself.”

Methos looked at him wryly. “And you think I would be a good person to give that much power to?”

Alucard nodded, knowing Methos referred to being one of the Horsemen. “That was a long time ago, and you have changed—but you still have the power and experience it would take to get things done, and I know how much you like to be in charge.”

Methos thought about it for a moment. “All right, but try not to make it too often. Duncan already thinks I am some sort of evil maniac bent on ruling the world and this would just convince him he was right.”

“Isn’t he?”

“Well, yes, but that is entirely beside the point.”

Alucard just laughed.


The Town of Eureka
(Right after the second episode.)
Back a few days to the morning of the news reports.
June 16, 1998
(Great show, but if you haven’t seen it, try looking it up for a summary or try to get a hold of some episodes or what not. You only really need the first two to understand this story.)

Nathan Stark was having a very good day. He had returned to Eureka as the most powerful man in town.  Allie was still there to flirt with and annoy, and the new sheriff was too cute for words.  Nathan had never been one to limit his choices to one side of the coin.

Today was also a good day because he had landed the most exclusive research contract in the town’s history, which, considering the town-- was no small thing.   In fact, the Artifact was already safely stored down in Section Five…although, safely was a relative term.

Section Five had the strongest shields and fortifications Nathan had ever seen, but current readings showed that the…radiation or whatever it was the Artifact was putting out might eventually leak through.  Science had a price. The DOD still would not disclose how many had died while transporting the Artifact to Eureka.

It had arrived at Global Dynamics with the heaviest guard Nathan had ever seen, and three men had died just in the amount of time it had taken to unload the object and take it down into the lab.  They had brought it in the middle of the night, and Nathan had been instructed to clear the place of all personnel, including the night security guards.

Nathan grinned evilly. He couldn’t even begin to understand the powers the Artifact must contain…but he wanted to, madly.

A knock came at the door, disturbing his thoughts, “Come in.” He ordered tersely.

Fargo rushed into the room.  “ Dr. Stark, you have to see this!” He turned on the television and found the local newscast.

Nathan watched the breaking news with disinterest. “You came in here to show me a prank? I’ll bet the Tesla students did it on a dare.”

Fargo didn’t answer, just started to flip through all the news stations there were, which, with this being Eureka, were all of them in the world.  Almost all of them had the same story.

Nathan slowly got out of his chair. “Dear god…” Suddenly, it occurred to him that the Artifact could be completely different than what he thought. What if it were “Supernatural?” he breathed out quietly.

Fargo looked over at him, oblivious. “Amazing, isn’t it? They’ve been here all along, and we’ve never noticed. I wonder if there are any vampires here?”

“Doubtful,” Nathan answered, still deep in thought. “I would imagine that a community of rabid scientists is the last place a supernatural creature would want to reside…too high a possibility for dissection. Although…” Nathan began to type on his computer.

As much as Nathan knew about Global, there were always some projects that were so secret that only the director knew fully about them, and as he had only been the director for about a week, there were probably quite a few things he didn’t know yet. Had Global had any supernatural contact in the past?

A few minutes later, the computer responded to his query. Nathan’s brows furrowed.  There had been a project, but not in Eureka, in fact Eureka had only been called on as consultants. A top-secret branch of the military called the Initiative had labs in both California and Europe that had both been recently destroyed by its test subjects.

“No, Fargo, the last place supernatural creatures would want to be is here.” And that was probably for the best-- less chance of property damage.  “Go, Fargo, I want some time to think.”

“Yes, sir.”

After the door shut, Nathan let himself indulge in a flight of fancy. Yes, the Artifact had so many more possibilities now…


Cafe Diem
Same time

Jack Carter walked into the eccentric coffee chop for his daily dose of caffeine. The day had been pleasant so far, meaning nothing had exploded or warped due to quantum physics yet.

Silence greeted him as he walked inside instead of the usual barrage of sound.  Everyone in the cafe was frozen in place looking at the TV screens.  Jack looked around, wondering if there was a mass hypnotism device on the loose somewhere.  He knew the morning had been too quiet.

Slowly the words of the broadcast filtered into his mind. “…The vampire King, Dracula, has assured the public that there is no danger from the supernatural community as long as they are not provoked or harmed.”

Jack stared at the newscast incredulously, “What the…”

Vince walked up behind him. “Blood…I mean coffee, Sheriff?”

Jack jumped. “Damn, Vince, don’t do that! Oh never mind, what is going on here? Vampires? Has the world lost its mind?”

“Oh, it is just the most awesome thing ever. Apparently there has always been another world living right beside our own with no one the wiser. That is, until today— Let’s just say they have come out of the closet in a big way.”

The newscast broke for a commercial and suddenly the room burst into conversation.

“Can you believe it?”

“I wonder if Dr. Stark is a demon?”

“They had better not come after my blood.”

“I bet I could make a sunlight ray gun, just in case, you know.”

“Hey dad, can I become a vampire?” Zoe walked up to her stunned father as she asked her question.

“What? No! No daughter of mine is going to become an undead, bloodsucking, creature of the night.” Jack replied quickly. Then he looked appalled. “Just what am I saying? None of this can be real.”

Zoe just ignored him and walked away. “My father never lets me do anything cool.”

Jack thought for a moment, temporality distracted. “Yes I do! Just last week I let you watch American Idol, now that is more than enough parental leeway if you ask me. That stuff will rot your brain.” He shouted after her, but judging from her uninterrupted conversation with Pilar, she wasn’t paying him the slightest bit of attention.

Jack put his head in his hands. “Vince, coffee, the strongest you’ve got.  Something tells me this is going to be a long day.”


Ancient Greece…or very close to it…

“How much farther do you think it is to this place where Ares wants us to take this thing?” Gabrielle asked, pointing back at the box Joxer was carrying at the end of the group.

“It’s far, I know that much.” Xena replied. “I have traveled many places and I know that I have never even been close to it.”

“I don’t think anyone in their right mind would go there on their own.” Hercules said wryly. “It’s probably why Ares wants the thing hidden there.”

Joxer, or something incredibly like him, just followed along behind the troop of griping heroes happily humming his theme song and holding the fate of the world in his hands.


MI-6- Morning of June 20, 1998

MI-6 was in chaos-- every part of the government wanted a piece of the only ones who had spoken to the King.  Jack and James would bet that M was faring no better than they were.  The debriefings had not stopped since they had returned. Jack knew that his daughter must have thought he had moved into the agency.

Luckily, she was thinking of attending one of those swanky boarding schools England was so famous for.  Jack felt like a lousy father because he was hoping she would choose the boarding school, but he knew that he wouldn’t have the kind of attention for her that she deserved. At least at school she would not be lonely. To be honest, she would probably have more fun there than she would living with him.

A top on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie. James stood behind him. “Her Majesty wants to see us.”

Jack paled. This was going to be a long day.


Hellsing Manor
Integra’s Study
The afternoon after Alucard caught Xander hiding from Cordelia and made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
Otherwise known as June 20, 1998

Xander, Spike, and Angel sat down on the long sofa in Integra’s study across from Alucard and Integra.

“You wanted to see us?” Angel asked.

“Yes, as I have told Xander, I have a proposition for you. I would like to send the three of you back to Los Angeles and the witches back to Sunnydale. I am withdrawing as much of the supernatural world as possible from the west coast and I need your help to organize the move.”

“Blimey,” Spike said with awe. “You don’t do things by half measures, do you?”

The west coast of the United States had one of the largest demon populations outside of Hell.

“Only really worry about getting out the ones you know personally.  Otherwise, just let the word get out in the right places that the west coast is going to become an unhealthy place to hang your hat.” Alucard explained. “I don’t want to make an official command to move because that will draw human attention and panic.”

“Where should we tell them to go?” Angel asked.

“Your friends and family are welcome here. The rest are free to go wherever they like, St. Louis is going to open its boarders for non-hostile creatures who can work well with humans.  Those who can’t play well with others should find some of the more isolated forests and mountains to make their new homes.  I am not going to force anyone to go anywhere, I just need them off the west coast.”

“What is going on?” Xander asked quietly.

“I can’t say for sure, I have been told that the future is a very changeable thing. Let’s just say I am being cautious. In any event, I do not want the human population alarmed.  You will have some time, at least six months, I know that much. I will send you to Count D in Los Angeles and he will be able to help.”

“And for all this, you’ll hitch us up proper without the Lady Cordelia knowing?” Spike asked with interest.

Alucard smiled a shark’s grin, “Of course.”

“So how’s it going to work? You hitch us up and we ride on out?” Spike asked.

“Something like that.” Alucard replied. “I can promise you a very small and private ceremony…we have even arranged for some scenic stops for you along the way home…a honeymoon of sorts.”

Angel looked at his two lovers and then back to Alucard. “What’s the catch?”

Integra gave a small laugh and looked at her husband. “They do know you.”

Alucard shrugged. “Nothing much, I just need you to make some…diplomatic overtures for me.”

“Where at?” Xander asked.

“Well, St. Louis for one—New York, Washington D.C., Las Vegas…these will be the major supernatural centers affected by the move.”

“What about New Orleans?” Xander asked. I thought that place was filled with vamps and such.”

“Which is why no self-respecting creature of the night would be caught dead there…so to speak.” Spike replied.  “Too bloody obvious.”

“Exactly,” Alucard agreed.

“Well, I guess we can make these stops.” Xander said. “What kinds of great googlie-mooglies will we be meeting?”

“Humans.” Integra replied. “For the most part you will need to make contact with humans who can help with the move.  Not politicians, they would be of no use, but making nice with the local law enforcement can help a great deal.”

“Will we be responsible for clearing the entire west coast?” Angel asked.

“No, you and the witches will take the southern half of the west coast and Duncan and Methos have some contacts in the northwest that can take that area. I want everything west of Las Vegas cleared, and even there, see who you can get to leave.”

“Why not just clear Las Vegas as well?” Xander asked.

“Too big, Pet. The nightlife there has attracted a lot of the night life, if you know what I mean.” Spike answered.

“Correct.” Said Alucard. “Las Vegas is the largest preternatural city in the world. Even if we could convince them to do so, the evacuation of a city that size would almost certainly draw human attention even if the move was spread out over a year. Do you have any idea how many demons run casinos?”

“No,” Xander answered, “but that certainly would explain a few things.”

“We are hoping things don’t reach that far, but our intelligence is a little vague.” Said Alucard.

“I see,” said Angel. “And we have eight months?”

“To be on the safe side, but I want this done as soon as possible. Today is June 20th, I want it done by the end of December.”

“Understood.” Angel replied. “Now when will we be bonded?”

“Depends, how long would it take for you to be ready to leave?”

The engaged trio looked at each other. “Well, it’s not like we settled in for the long haul here.” Spike answered. “Any time is a good time.”

“Excellent. The day after tomorrow at sunset sounds like a wonderful time for a bonding, don’t you think?”

The three young men just shrugged. “Sounds good to me,” Xander said. “But why not tomorrow night?”

“Because, my dear white night, there is a slight change you need to go through tomorrow night so you can change your beloveds the following night. Do you see?” Alucard asked and Xander remembered his promise to make him a Midian so he could bond to his lovers by making them Midians.

Xander blushed. “Now that you mention it, I do remember something of the sort.”

“Good, I will see you tomorrow night then.” Alucard said with a smirk.

“Tomorrow night.” Xander confirmed with a small grin of his own.


After the meeting with the Queen.

The monarchy was taking back the power it had ceded to parliament and the prime minister years ago.  The Queen was a figurehead no more.

The news would probably shock and outrage most of the public, but some might see the advantage of having an absolute monarch to deal with another absolute monarch who lived within the boarders of England.

Jack and James were not official ambassadors, which Jack found amusing since he was not even a British citizen. The American government had also contacted Jack and made him their official ambassador as well-- they didn’t seem to mind at all that they had to share him with England.

They were the only ambassadors acknowledged by the dark court and everyone wanted a piece of them.

The two men sat down in James’ office at the end of the day. In two days they were being asked to return to Hellsing Manor for an extended stay.  James took a long look at the ring on his finger and knew that this could only add up to trouble.

He looked over at his partner. “Fancy a drink?”

Jack just groaned and slid deeper into his chair. “Damn the drinking, just inject it directly into the vein.

Well, that really did sum things up nicely.


AN- Do I have a good excuse for letting things go for this long? No, not really. I have a good bit written, mostly what is taking so long is getting the timelines right. As you will notice, I am beginning to add dates to some of the more time important pieces.
Why am I in 1998? Because I have to be to make this work. And I needed to find a year to center everything around. As you have probably noticed, very few of my crossovers share a timeline. Anyway, for those of you who care, here is the official time line: That ball was on 6/13, the dinner was on 6/14, the attack was 6/15, and the newscast was 6/16.
Please ask questions if I get confusing so I can fix it. I am taking my time to get everything in place, but I can still make mistakes.

As always, thank you all so much for your reviews and recommendations! They really do help me write. Some of my best inspiration has come from the feedback I get, and I love answering questions and talking to people about the story.

And I hate to beg, but this story looks so naked without any hearts. *Puppydog eyes*

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

“The real hero is always a hero my mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward live everybody else.”
-Umberto Eco


The demon realm of demon diary.
Several weeks later if you go by demon time,
Or the evening of June 20, 1998 if you go by boring old earth time.

Anita scrubbed at the priceless marble floors, her anger fueling every swipe.

How dare they do this to her? These demons deserved everything hell could give them and more.  Anita chose not to notice how un-hellish this dimension was. It all had to be a lie.

“I see you haven’t changed a bit.” Eclipse said from behind her.

Anita looked around with a scowl. “And why should I be the one who has to change?”

“Because you were wrong and you need to learn how to learn from your mistakes.” Eclipse replied. “Your stubbornness has hurt many, but you seem to think that as long as it does not hurt you, it is all ok. I had hoped that your time here would give you some insight into how you treat others—I had hoped that some humility might teach you that you are not the only person in the world…

“I wanted you to be able to look around you and see that sometimes it costs you nothing to listen to others once in a while. You seem to think that caring for others has a price, and you are too cheap to pay it. Caring for others does carry a price, one that many others have paid over and over for you to show that they care.”

“I never asked for that. I would never ask anyone to sell themselves for me.”

“Again, you misunderstand. When one willingly pays the price it takes to care for another, they get that back ten-fold. That is the way it works. But you refuse to share your heart and all that caring others put into you just dies, hurting them and hurting you because you couldn’t be bothered to take the time to understand.  You are always so stubborn and always so sure that you always know what is right. You know so little about this world, about this universe, and at times like these you cannot afford to be ignorant.”

Anita stood up and threw the scrubbing rag to the floor. “I don’t have to listen to this from you—spawn of Satan!   I will never listen to you and your lies! Now I demand that you let me go!”

Eclipse sighed, “Very well, there is obviously nothing more we can teach you here. Just remember what you have already thrown away. Those who were once burned are twice shy.  The adoration you once received and distained may no longer be there for you when you get back.  You are as plain a human as you ever wanted to be.  May it bring you peace.”  

Eclipse raised his hand and a bright light engulfed it. “Anita Blake, I hereby free you from any obligation to this house. You have your freedom, what do you wish to do with it?”

“I want to go home. Everyone must be worried sick about me by now. I need to let them know I am alright, and I definitely need to get back to work.”

“Your work as an Animator?” Eclipse asked quietly.


“But you cannot Animate anymore. The King was kind enough to grant your deepest wish—you really are nothing but the most mundane mortal to ever walk the earth.”

“He even took that? How am I going to earn a living?”

“Why are you upset, isn’t it what your really wanted?”

“Well, yes, but I didn’t think it could ever happen, so I never really thought through what it could mean. What happened to the ones who depended on me?”

“So now you worry about them after all this time? They are fine, the King and your friends made sure everything is as it should be.  The situation all of you were in really needed fixed desperately. Those who were dependant on you, never really should have been in the first place. The King simply fixed the mistake.”

“What am I going to do now? I guess I will need to find work.”

“Whatever it is, may I suggest that you avoid working as a maid? You don’t seem to have the knack for it.” And with that Eclipse snapped his fingers and Anita disappeared from the Demon realm to land deeply asleep back in her old room in her very empty house.  She would need a good night’s sleep to face the challenges the next day would certainly present.


Blake Residence
St. Louis, MO
Morning of June 21, 1998

Anita woke with a start and sat straight up in bed. “Thank god! It was all a dream.” She took a few deep breaths in relief. Anita got up and made her way into the kitchen. Coffee, she needed coffee…

She walked into the kitchen and froze. There—on the table, was a frilly white French maid’s hat. Anita sat down hard upon the floor and began to laugh hysterically.

Had anyone been listening, a call to the men in white coats may have been made.


The demon realm.
The exact same time.

Eclipse and Buffy watched through an enchanted mirror at the ex-Animator.

“Are you ready for your first assignment?” Eclipse asked the young demon.

Buffy looked back with a woeful expression. “Are you sure I have to start with her? I mean, couldn’t I try redeeming someone easier? Like Stalin?”

“You begin with her. She does not have to be perfect, or even all that good—but she is down on the fated list of heroes, and that cannot be changed. However at this point, it is doubtful she will ever get her powers back. All I want you to do is get her to think of others before herself, that will be quite an accomplishment in and of it self, I think.” Eclipse told Buffy.

“But what good is a hero without their powers? If she no longer has them, and I am the demon of heroes, why do I need to help her?” Buffy asked.

Eclipse almost sighed, he knew that this mission would be as much of a learning experience for Buffy as it would be for Anita. “Someone can be a hero even if they have no arms, no legs, and only one eye. It is not powers that make a hero—It is courage and the drive to help others no matter the personal cost.

“Anita had these qualities once upon a time, but at some point she got lost within herself and hasn’t been able to find her way back again.  Like I said, you do not have to make her perfect, but I do want you to help her at least get somewhat back to her old self.  Somewhere in there, she is still a hero, and that is why you need to help her.

“This type of situation happens a great deal with people who have to face more than other people do. Hero’s have a high burnout rate.  You didn’t come here in the best of conditions yourself. What would have happened to you had the king not decided to help you?”

Buffy was quiet for a moment. “I guess I see what you are saying. Thinking like this isn’t easy, you know. Looking back, I don’t think I always put others before myself either.”

Eclipse turned to look at her. “In your personal life? Probably not, no one does completely. We all must have some barriers to protect ourselves, but there were perhaps times you could have done better. But when it came to being a hero? You went out every night and risked your life and you never asked for a thing, you never put conditions on your help, and you never asked for a reward for saving the world several times over.”

Eclipse looked back at the mirror. “Anita did not always use her gifts so selflessly. And for her help, she often made conditions that were hurtful to others. You never once sought to knowingly cause misery to someone else in return for your help.  She needs to learn that it is not ok to hurt others just because they are in her way, or because she does not agree with the way they are.”

Buffy took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “I can try.”

“Good, now do you remember how to teleport and how to remain invisible when you want to?”


“Well then, what are you waiting for? Get going” Eclipse said as he waved her off.

Buffy gave a mock salute. “Aye ,aye, Captain!” and with that she disappeared.

Eclipse watched her go with an almost hidden smile.

“You did good.” Raenef said from behind him.

Eclipse turned around, “You think so?”

Raenef stepped up and put his arms around his husband. “I know so.”

“Do you think either of them will learn what they need to?”

“Buffy will. She has more reason to try. She has family and friends that she depends on and who depend on her. Anita, for all the people she has had around her for the past few years, has always been very, very alone.  It is why, no matter who tried, no one could get close to her.  She doesn’t really know anything but how to be alone.”

Eclipse looked down at Raenef. “When did you get so wise?”

“Hey! I was always wise. I married you, didn’t I?”

Eclipse smiled as he leaned down to kiss his one and only love, “Yes, you did.”


Hellsing Manor
That Evening
The bedroom of Xander, Spike, and Angel

The bonding the next day would indeed be small. In fact, there would only be three attendants—the grooms. They would be bound in body, mind and, blood, and that was not the sort of thing that required an audience. But first—tonight…

Alucard looked into Xander’s eyes and mind. “Is this your choice?”

Xander’s voice was steady. “It is.”

“Than come and be a child of my blood.” Alucard drew Xander close and bit down deeply into Xander’s neck.  Xander felt his body go light as his blood was drained, soon Alucard’s steady grip was the only thing holding him up.  A second before his last heartbeat, Alucard placed Xander’s mouth against his own throat and gave a mental call to bite.

Xander bit down with his blunt human teeth and began to drink. After a few moments, his fangs descended and cut deeper into the immortal flesh of his sire. A fire began to burn in Xander’s body, at first in  ecstasy, and then agony.

Finally, his new instincts told him he had had enough and he pulled back.   The moment he let go his legs weakened and his lovers had to catch him before he hit the floor. Convulsions began and within a few moments his body almost bowed with pain. Angel lifted Xander and took him over to the bed while Spike got a cool cloth to wipe up the sweat that was beading along Xander’s skin.

Angel looked over at Alucard, “How long will it last?”

“Tonight, and perhaps some of tomorrow, and then he will sleep until sunset. Feed him as much as you can with your own blood, there is bagged blood for you in the small refrigerator. Tomorrow night when he rises he will be able to change the two of you, and if you feel bad about the way he is feeling now, just remember that the same will happen to you.”

“I am so comforted.” Spike said with only a small fraction of his normal sarcasm.  He was too focused on Xander to really put his heart into it.

Alucard gave a shark like grin in reply.  “Ah, young love. When he changes you, there will not be a sire/child bond, but instead a mate bond—a joining of equals. The type of bond between vampires always depends on the feelings put into it.”

Angel nodded, his attention now mostly on Xander. Spike had laid down on one side to hold Xander comfortingly, and now Angel was laying on the opposite side and was moving to hold them both.

Alucard looked amused. “I will leave the three of you alone now. No one will be able to get into this room until you are ready to leave.” Alucard left and went to find his mate; he had a bond of his own that he wanted to renew all of the sudden.


A/N- Hey look ma! An update that didn’t take me two months to write. I honestly have to thank all of the encouragement everyone gave me.  It made me sit down to work on this more often. Letting me know that there are people out there who like this story makes me happy and feeds the plot bunnies.


Chapter Text

Chapter 8

“Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.”

Los Angeles- present

Count D walked into one of the most innermost chambers of the Petshop. The room was lined in black marble veined with red, a sarcophagus of alabaster sat along the back wall.  The Count traced the carvings on the lid—the Wild Hunt depicted in all of its glory, with gods and demons alike racing for some goal that only they knew.  “Soon,” he whispered, “soon, old friend, you will return to us and bring forth a new world…the only question is—are they ready for it?”


The bonding chamber of Angel, Xander, and Spike.
Sunset of the day Xander’s change had finished.

Xander’s eyes slowly opened, burning in the acid dark, and seeing as clear as day.   Blood was rushing through his ears creating a wave or sound like tsunami. Lava flowed along his nerves and awoke sensations he had never felt.

Smells! Strange how they could fill the mind with the most unimaginable visions. Visions of blood and flesh and…Mates! Xander felt his teeth grow out, long and sharp. It was a most exquisite pain, but he could feel the cold bodies lying next to him—sleeping and begging for his touch. He rose up on all fours and carefully rolled his two mates until they were side by side beneath him.  He then let his weight fall until he was straddling them both. The increased weight finally woke the former scourges.

Spike blinked up at him. “Why grandmother, what big teeth you have.”

Xander purred.  “All the better to eat you with, I assure you.”

Angel stared up at his mate, Xander had always been beautiful to him, but now he was just…more—a predator, a warrior, and he was His. Angel said nothing, just tilted Xander’s head to the side and bit deeply into his neck.  Xander lacked the mark of his claim and that had to be changed.

Xander moaned and Spike knew he couldn’t be left out.  He bent down and bit down on Xander’s shoulder. Almost immediately he felt liquid fire surge into his mouth. He knew from how Angel stiffened beside him that he was feeling the same.  Xander’s moans increased in volume and Spike could feel his hardness digging into his thigh. Spike knew what he was feeling, he had been rock hard from the moment he had first seen the feral side of his mate.

Finally, Xander gently leaned away from them. “Enough, I am going to need some of that blood later. Besides, I think it is time I tasted the two of you.” He took one of each of their hands and brought them to his mouth. He licked one, and then the other, and smelled them deeply.  He held the palms up to his face and held them there until he could never mistake the touch of another for theirs.  Then he slowly drew an index finger from each into his mouth and sucked until he could hear his mates’ moans of pleasure.  Then he drew the pads of each finger under his newly born fangs and bit down gently, flooding his mouth with the blood of both immortals.

As the first exchange of blood was completed, they could feel slight mental bonds forming that would someday carry thoughts, but for now they just drew pleasure from the three and echoed them back.  The taste was enough to roll Xander’s eyes into the back of his head. After a few moments it was all too much for them and they came within seconds of each other without a single intimate touch.

Xander collapsed and let the fingers of his lovers escape his mouth.  His last thought before losing conscious thought was ‘Damn, this is going to be a good eternity.’  Angel and Spike were soon to follow their tired love. The events of the last few days had been exhausting and they would soon need all of their strength to make the changes that would make Spike and Angel midian like Xander was.  Spike and Angel remembered the pain of their first transformation…they weren’t looking forward to going through it again.  Oh well.



Jack Carter watched again as Nathan Stark spun another load of bull about how utterly safe Section Five was. It made Jack’s head hurt. There was something seriously wrong with this town. Jack knew that if it was nothing he could see, then it had to be something he couldn’t see, and what couldn’t he see? Section Five!

Allison was no help, for some reason she trusted that snake in the grass with the impossibly good-looking hair. No one with those looks could possibly be trustworthy.  Jack shook his head-- that was not what he should be thinking about.  This town must be getting to him.

“Just tell us what is down there.” Jack asked for about the hundredth time.

Nathan frowned at the Sheriffs interruption. “No, it is a top secret project, and you don’t have the clearance.”

“Damn the clearance, when it comes to public safety, I have a right to know!”

“Carter, I assure you, for the hundredth time, that whatever is going on in Section Five has nothing to do with whatever is going on out here.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Then how the hell do you explain Mrs. Malkin’s cows turning into Minotaurs?”

Nathan winced, this was going to be a long day…at least the Sheriff was good to look at. Nathan gave himself a mental shake-- damn, not again.

The truth was, there was something about the Artifact in Section Five that was beginning to bother him. It was powerful, that was obvious, but there wasn’t an instrument in the lab that could measure it. Shields were falling to an influence they could not see. They were working entirely blind. And truth be told, the problem with the cows…mino…whatever were probably the fault of their weakening shields.

Nathan, however, being Nathan, was reluctant to admit defeat this early in the game.  There had to be another way.

A/N-Late this is, I know. However, I do respond well to prodding.

My job, the one I got almost a year ago…is very intense. And I usually end up typing and filling out forms for most of the day.  And when I come hime, it is hard to even look at a keyboard. But like I said before, I can’t abandon this story, I have so much I want to do with it.
Hugs and kisses- ImmortalBeloved

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
-- Jimi Hendrix

St. Louis, June 22, 1998

Her retirement from animating had not gone as smoothly as she had planned. Her ex-boss had not been amused one bit. She knew that she was still more than qualified to do consultation work for the police, but she knew that she would not have as many supernatural insights as she had once had.

She had been back for two days, but still had not seen any vampires or were-creatures. But then again, she could no longer sense when they were near either. All the same, no one had been to her house, there were no messages on her answering machine…it was as if they had forgotten about her completely. What had happened since she had left? Were they worried? Did they know she was back?

There was only one place left she could go for answers—the Circus.


Still St. Louis…

All was quiet as day turned into night-- the denizens of the Circus were just beginning to stir.  Anita walked into the private entrance and passed by two stunned lycanthrope guards. She thought that their expressions were strange, but shrugged it off as she continued down the stairs.

The most likely place to find Jean-Claude at this time was his bedroom.  Anita didn’t bother to knock, just turned the knob and entered. She flipped the switch and froze as her mind tried to process the scene before her.

Four men were lying in various positions, pushing the limits of the oversized bed.  Jason was the most decent—just lying naked on one side of the bed, sleeping with a healing bite wound on his neck.   On the other side of the bed were Asher, Jean-Claude and Nathaniel. Asher was feeding from the young were-leopard, whose face was twisted in the most acute pleasure…part of this might have been due to the fact that Jean-Claude had his very talented mouth wrapped around his cock.

Anita couldn’t have been more shocked.  “What the hell is going on here?”

Jean-Claude and Asher lifted their heads…much to Nathaniel’s disappointment. Jean-Claude raised an eyebrow, seemingly unconcerned with the position Anita had found them in.  “You have returned, I must admit, I did not expect for you to find forgiveness so easily.”

“Never mind that, what is going on here?” Anita screeched.

Asher fell back on the pillows. “I think that was what most people would call foreplay, and if you don’t mind, I would like to get back to it.”

“Why would the three of you do something like this? You knew that this was not something I would find acceptable.”

“Of late, I have worried less and less about what you would find acceptable, Anita.” Jean-Claude said as he rose from the bed and put on a robe. “The greater question is why are you here? I thought that now you were the normal human you always dreamed of being, you would leave all of this behind you. I did honestly hope you would be happy.”

“How can I be happy? I come home and my whole life is different.”

Jean-Claude looked sad.  “You were not happy with the way your life was either, and in a way I did understand. You were born into a supernatural life that you never felt comfortable with.  Now you have the chance to do whatever you want—there are no supernatural, or other elements that hold sway over you now.

“But we can’t wait any longer on you to decide what makes you happy. You will have to find that for yourself, and from now on we will be true to ourselves and do what makes us happy as well. If you do come back to this life one day, you will need to accept us for who we are. We did you a disservice, catering to you to try to make you happy.”

“I never asked you to cater to me.” Anita retorted.

“Oh, yes you did.  Every time we needed you, you attached so many strings we could hardly move.  I want you to be happy now, Anita. I want that for you.  But I don’t think you will find that here.” Jean-Claude held open the door and motioned for Anita to leave.

Anita was disgusted. “Whatever, just…whatever.” She flounced out and Jean-Claude closed the door behind her.

Jean-Claude turned back to his lovers. “Now where were we?”

Nathaniel began to stroke his shaft. “I think you were right here.”

Jean-Claude smirked. “Indeed.”


Anita didn’t know what had just happened. She didn’t understand any of it. Why did everything have to change? Had her deepest wish been what she had really wanted?


Buffy watched from the sidelines, invisible.  Watching Anita made her sad.  Both for the loneliness Anita now faced if she didn’t change, and for the circumstances she now found herself in.  However, Buffy did have to admit that there were times that Anita’s behavior reminded her uncomfortably of her own.  Buffy straightened her shoulders. Well, redemption was what they were both here for, and that was what they were going to get.

Buffy just had one problem. She didn’t know where on earth to start.



The Ancient World, One month since we last saw our intrepid Greek heroes.

The air was thin and the wind had turned cold. Ares had provided warm clothing, but the five heroes still found the climb a difficult one. They had traveled through desert, and jungle, and finally mountains so high it was like standing in the middle of the sky.  They were tired and they had cursed Ares more than once--only Joxer remained of good cheer.

Suddenly, Joxer stopped cold. “Here.” He said.

Gabrielle looked around. “What here?”

“We’re here, here.” Joxer replied.

“Joxer, what do you mean? There is nothing here.” Hercules asked, looking puzzled.

“I mean that we have arrived where we needed to be.”  Joxer said as he looked around for a place to set his box.  “This is where Kallisti needs to be.”

“But I thought we would be taking it to people who could protect it.” Xena said as she looked around. “This is nothing but a wide shelf on the side of a mountain.”

“Do you know where we are?” Joxer asked quietly.

“No, we’ve just been following you.” Xena replied with exasperation.

“Outside of the five of us, does anyone know where we are?”

Iolaus caught on. “I get it. If no one knows where it is, who would ever be able to find it?”

“Correct. There will be no evidence of where this went. No maps, or clues for treasure hunters…and there will be no one who can tell where we put this. None of you will be able to tell, after this you won’t even remember…although…”

Joxer looked at them seriously. It was such a difference from his usual expression that they all paid attention.  “I did bring Kallisti to those who could protect it. The few who dwell in these mountains will not be drawn to it, but they are not who are needed to protect it. No, I brought Kallisti to you, and then I brought you here…this is a lot to ask of you, but only god-touched heroes would stand a chance against what this artifact will face in the future.

“You have a choice, stay here and protect—with your memories intact, or go back and remember nothing about what went on here.  Keep in mind that if you go back you will no longer be god-touched as the Gods are now gone from Greece. You will be as normal humans. If you stay here, near Kallisti, you will become even more powerful. You also will not age unless you leave. As long as you do not touch it, it will not harm you, and as you all have some form of godly protection, Kallisti cannot tempt you. Remaining near it will only add to the powers you already have. There are reasons, both good and bad, why people will want what is in that box.”

“Who told you all of this? Ares?” Hercules demanded.

“No, it is something I already knew.” Joxer said as he straightened up and took off his helmet and dropped to the ground.  With a snap of his fingers his clothes turned into a pair of white leather pants and a white sink tunic. A silver sword with a crystal hilt replaced the battered one he had worn.  “I am Joxer, the God of Peace.” He introduced himself with a bow.

“I am sorry I lied to you, but I had to make sure you would be the right ones. I traveled with hundreds before I knew I had met the ones I knew who could protect such a great object.  Your put downs were a little demoralizing at times, but you were still willing to fight and put your lives on the line for someone whom you considered to be a liability.”

“You mean you never were our friend? We were just some great social experiment for you?” Iolaus asked, angrily.

Joxer looked at them sadly. “No, I was as much your friend as you were mine.  That much was always true. It was what made me want to give you a chance.  You all fought so hard in the name of peace. You may not have known me, but I was your God—and you were my personal chosen ones. You are warriors of peace, and now I need you for your most important mission ever.  Kallisti will not stay hidden forever. Sometime in the future, no corner of the earth will be hidden from sight, and it will be found. I need people whom I can trust to protect it.”

Xena looked around with a scowl. “What in the name of Hades, Joxer? You lie to us, bring us to the edge of nowhere, and then expect us to volunteer for immortal babysitting?”

“Yes.” Joxer replied. “It was also the only way I could keep you alive as well.”

“What do you mean by that?” Hercules asked.

“You four are known for how close you are to the gods. Now that the gods no longer walk among humans, they are going to be looking for answers and who do you think they will be asking? You-- and if you don’t have answers they want to hear, then they will be after your blood. It is the way humans are.” Joxer replied. “So like I said, I can return you, without your memories, and you can be hunted down for something you can’t even remember, or you can stay here in relative comfort.”

“Joxer, what comfort? We are on the side of a barren mountain!” Gabrielle snarled.

Joxer looked around. “Oops! I forgot.” He picked up the box and walked to the side of the mountain. He held up one hand and pressed it to the rock. After a moment, the rocks faded from view and the four heroes were left staring at a lush, beautiful valley. “My friends, I give you Shangri-la.”


Hellsing Manor

Xander, Spike, and Angel’s room, shortly after we last left the boys.

Angel got up quietly and made his way to the small fridge in the room. He was hungry and he knew that he would need blood for what was about to happen.  He winced at the taste of cold blood, but he didn’t want to take the time to heat it. He got down two bags of blood before he decided that he had had enough.  He saw Spike’s eyes glitter in the darkness as he made his way back to the bed. Angel tilted his head in the direction of the fridge, indicating that Spike should eat as well.

Angel laid down again as Spike got up. Xander had woken up when Angel had moved the first time. He turned into his lover and snuggled up beside him. He looked up into Angel’s eyes with a question in his own. Angel nodded and Xander knew it was time.

Without warning, Xander bared his fangs and bit sharply into Angel’s neck, and Angel left out a hiss of both pleasure and pain.  Xander drank until he was full, and then he drank some more, he drank until almost every drop had been drained from his lover’s body. Finally he withdrew his fangs and licked the wound closed. He brought up his wrist to Angel’s mouth and in abject hunger, Angel latched on violently.  

Xander watched as his blood flowed into his lover, changing him. He was his now, now and forever, and soon Spike would be his as well.

Spike looked on in both lust and awe.  He had drunk his cold blood, and now he waited desperately to taste Xander, and for Xander to taste him. They would be bonded this night in a way that would last for an eternity. They would always be a part of one another now.

Angel finally let go of Xander’s wrist and he turned to his new sire. Angel kissed him viciously, sealing some deep and unspoken vow, and Xander kissed him back, tasting how wonderful their co-mingled blood tasted.  Xander broke the kiss and looked behind him towards Spike. “Come here.” he called.

Spike came around and fell between them, hungrily kissing both.  Xander let it continue for a few moments before he kissed his way down to Spike’s neck. Without warning, he struck deep, causing Spike to buck in pleasure. Spike had always enjoyed just a bit more pain than Angel had.  Xander held firm, and Angel held him from behind. Spike felt his blood drain from his body and he thought that if he ever were to die truly, he would want to die like this.

After a while, he felt Xander lift his head and close the wound. Xander cupped his head and drew him down to his neck. Spike latched on and tasted his pet in full. There was nothing on earth that could describe the taste of his blood.  It filled him and made him feel as if he were truly alive again.  Angel bent over and whispered into his ear. “Magnificent, isn’t it?”

Spike could only moan.

Angel could feel Xander’s blood working inside of him and he knew that it wouldn’t be much longer before the pain would come, but it would be worth it. He looked into Xander’s eyes over Spike’s head. “I love you.” He whispered. And that was all that needed to be said.



AN- YaY! Another one done. I would like to thank all of you for your support. It really did help me write faster. I also must say I love hearing from people who are so very far from me.  (I am in Indiana, USA.)  It just amazes me that my words can reach around the world like that. I asked a long time ago for people to tell me when they reviewed where they were from, but I have to say I’ve forgotten. If you tell me again, I think I’ll make a map this time to keep track.  I might even put up a list of states and countries on my profile, what do you think?

Chapter Text


Chapter 10


    There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.


-      Edward Abbey


June 23rd, 1998




Hellsing Manor


In the rooms of Giles and Ethan.


Only a hero could know all the exquisite pains of self-sacrifice. Luckily, Ethan didn’t consider himself any sort of a hero.  Ethan was currently basking in the largest claw foot tub he had ever seen.  He sipped champagne and nibbled at chocolate covered strawberries.  The wait staff was eager to fulfill his every wish, and Ethan was only happy to take full advantage. After all, since Giles was off doing whatever—he needed something to do.


“Well, what do we have here?” asked a voice from the door.


Speak of the devil.


“Back already?” Ethan asked nonchalantly.


“Yes, I can see you missed me.” Giles said wryly as he snatched Ethan’s champagne and took a drink.


“Oh, always.” Ethan replied as he tried to grab his glass back. He only succeeded in spilling water on the floor.


Giles clucked his tongue. “Such a dirty boy you are.” he grinned at Ethan’s scowl. “But enough of that, I am sure you will be anxious to hear my news.”


“I’m all atwitter.” Ethan mumbled.


“Tara and Willow will be heading back to Sunnydale, and Angel, Spike, and Xander will be returning to Los Angeles.  The king has given them a rather large mission.”


“And us?” Ethan asked.


“Well, I thought if you didn’t mind, we could stay here. Going off and gallivanting on missions is best suited for the young, don’t you think?”


Ethan picked up another strawberry. “That’s fine with me. I like it here.”


Giles gave a sly grin. “I’m sure you do.” And with that Giles dunked Ethan and ran out of the room, laughing.


Ethan surfaced, sputtering. “Cheeky bastard.” He griped.




Alucard and Integra’s Study

Probably close to the same time.


“So, do you think you are up to the task?” Alucard asked.


Willow looked at Tara then back at Alucard. “Well, I guess we have to be, but getting all the creatures of the night to leave Sunnydale of their own volition won’t be easy.”


“I never thought it would be.” Alucard answered. “That is why I am giving you a parting gift to help you along.”


“What kind of gift?” Tara asked.


“ I am going to give you a slight power boost and imprint you with my psychic scent. It won’t be something you would notice, but anything even slightly supernatural will.”


Willow looked skeptic. “Making us stink will make them listen to us?”


Alucard laughed. “Well, I will ignore the implication that I small bad, but it isn’t like that at all. Think of it more as a mark that tells them that you really are delivering my orders.”


“What do you mean by a power boost?” Tara asked with a frown. “Having a lot of power isn’t always a good thing.”


Alucard smiled at her. “Very wise, young witch. Power corrupts, true, but if you know the dangers and take care, then I don’t believe there to be much of a danger. You also have each other and that bond will keep you grounded. If you were not bonded as you are, I wouldn’t consider this because I think that with great power comes responsibility and having to bear that responsibility alone is what truly corrupts people.”


“I think I see your point.” Tara replied.


“Also, the power boost I’m giving you is specialized. I am giving you greater healing abilities and greater physical strength. I am not naïve enough to think getting all of them to leave will be easy. You have my permission to kill whomever you feel necessary in order to get the job done. If they are willing to disregard my message and my chosen messengers, then they no longer have my protection.”


“Ah, I think I can see the benefits of that kind of power boost.” Tara replied.


“I agree.” Said Willow as she took Tara’s hand. “I think that if we knew we were safe, it would make it easier for us to focus on our job.”


“Excellent. Are you ready to go back yet?” Alucard asked. “I am afraid I took the liberty of bringing your bags down for you.”


“You really are in a hurry aren’t you?” Willow asked. “I understand completely, but when were you going to give us that power boost?”


Alucard got up and clasped each girl on the shoulder. “I just did.” he replied.


“You did? But I didn’t feel a thi…” Willow collapsed like a puppet without strings and she would have hit the ground if Alucard hadn’t caught her. Tara wasn’t far behind.


“You are such a cruel bastard.” Integra said from the door.


Alucard smiled. “True, but you love me for it all the same.”


“Yes, I do. Now, what are you going to do with them?”


“I am going to take them home and put them into the care of someone who will take good care of them and when they wake up tomorrow, they will feel like new.” Alucard replied as he tossed each over his shoulder like sacks of potatoes.


“Is that really necessary?” Integra asked, not liking the fact that the two women’s bottoms were so close to Alucard’s face.


“Ah, maybe you are right.” Alucard lifted each with an invisible hand and made them float on the air beside him. “Better?”


“Yes, much more dignified for those poor girls. You didn’t tell them half of what their new powers will do.”


“Listening in, were you? They’ll find out soon enough, but they will need them. I haven’t given them an easy task.”


Integra smirked. “The impossible is easy for you. Sometimes I think you very high expectations of people because of it.”


“I might.” Alucard replied. “But I really do know what they are capable of.  I would never ask more than that. Sometimes humans can do impossible things themselves—I know you did when you captured my heart.”


Integra almost cried, but held back. Damn pregnancy hormones. She was going to kill Alucard for that one of these days. Instead, she whirled about and headed out the door. “Go on, take them home, no point in having them float around all day.”


“As you wish, my lady.” Alucard replied with a knowing smile that Integra, thankfully, didn’t see.


He disappeared with a flash along with the two women and their baggage. Then once again he found himself on the front porch of one Joyce Summers. He knocked and after a few minutes she answered. “Hello again, I brought you gifts.”


“And hopefully an explanation?” Joyce asked as she stared at the two witches.


“I think I can manage that.” Alucard replied with a mad grin.


In the end, Joyce wasn’t at all surprised. This was the Hellmouth after all. This was far from the strangest thing she’d seen.




Princeton- Plainsboro Teaching Hospital


Chase, Foreman, and Cuddy watched through the window at Cameron. She was pacing back and forth furiously in the workroom. “Are you sure she’s sane?” Cuddy finally asked.


Chase shrugged. “I’m not quite sure anymore.”


“Nuttier than a fruit cake.” Foreman replied.


“I see.” said Cuddy. “And House and Wilson are now vampire lovers who are going to stay in England to be King Dracula’s court physicians?”


“That about sums it up.” Said Foreman.


Cuddy reached up to rub her forehead. There was already a migraine coming on—she could feel it. “I think I am going to lie down for a while. Arrange for Dr. Cameron to get a full psych work up. I want to know what we are dealing with before we make any rash decisions.”


“I’ll see to it.” Chase replied.


Chase waited for Cuddy to leave before he looked over at Foreman. “Fruitcake? Really how cliché can you get?”


“Hey, it was all I could think of!”




Major Slash Warning!!!!


That evening; in the bedroom of Angel, Spike, and Xander.



Spike woke slowly, testing his arms and legs subtly to see if the pain was gone yet. The test movements caused no harm so he slowly risked moving an entire arm. It worked. That meant that the ordeal was over. He was glad that after this, he would never have to do that again. That had been bloody horrid.


His movement half roused a sleeping Xander. “Five more minutes mom, just five…” Then with a snore he dropped off again.


Spike smiled. His mate was so adorable. Slowly he snuck his arm around Xander’s middle and without warning began to tickle him like mad.


Xander shot up, laughing like a loon. “Mercy! I’m up, I’m up!”


“Oh, you think I should have mercy, do you?” Spike growled as he flipped Xander over on his back and straddled his hips. “It looks to me as if someone is ripe for the taking.” he growled.


Xander’s red eyes darkened. “Oh, yes, very ripe.”


“Good to know.” Angel said as he pushed Spike over to lie on Xander’s other side so he could curl up to this one.  “Together?” he asked Spike.


“Think he can handle it?” Spike asked.


“He handled Anya didn’t he?”


“Point.” Spike replied.


“Hey, I’m right here, what exactly am I supposed to be handling? Not that I object to handling anything you’ve got.” Xander interjected.


Angel looked at Spike. “Well, you heard him.”


“Sure did, mate.” Spike looked at Xander with hunger in his eyes.


“Is that a good thing?” Xander asked, still lost.


Angel and Spike didn’t answer; instead they both pounced and began attacking different parts of Xander’s body.  First Angel took his mouth and Spike took his nipples, and then Xander took to moaning.


Spike released his treat long enough to reach behind him to the bedside table to get to the lube.  Xander noticed the loss of Spike’s mouth, but before he could object he felt Angel’s hand on his cock, stroking with cruel slowness. Angel kissed his way down to Xander’s neck and then for some mean reason took his hand away from Xander’s cock. “No, please…” he begged, but Angel didn’t listen and brought his hand up to play with Xander’s nipples instead.


Then Spike put his wonderful mouth to use and swallowed Xander whole. Xander screamed. It was all too much.  Angel lifted his head. “Poor baby, too bad we are just getting started.”


“Gah…” was all Xander could manage. He stiffened momentarily when he felt Spike’s slick finger penetrate him, but then he relaxed—they had been right about Anya and he remembered his lessons well, if Spike was any good he would be finding his prostate any moment no…, “Yes! Right there.”


Spike hummed his agreement around Xander’s manhood and Xander went wild. Spike took the opportunity to slip in two fingers. Xander hardly noticed. Angel looked down. “You can’t have all the fun, let me have a taste.”


Spike began to lift his head, but Xander was faster.  He grabbed Spike’s hair and said, “Oh no, you don’t, finish what you started. As for you,” he looked at Angel, “Scoot up on the bed, I want you in my mouth, now.”


Angel smiled. “Your wish is my command.” He scooted up the bed and when his cock came into range, Xander latched on like a leech, causing Angel to give a gasping scream. “Damn, you have the mouth of a devil.”


Xander hummed in agreement and Angel almost came, and it was much too soon for that, he reigned himself in hard.  Years of celibacy were both paying off and causing havoc.


Spike took a chance, and after getting more lube, put four fingers in. Xander bucked his hips, but didn’t complain. Spike began to finger fuck the hell out of Xander. He would need to be stretched. Although, now that they were pretty much indestructible, Spike doubted they could really hurt him, but Spike still wanted his mate to enjoy the event as much as possible.


Finally, Spike decided that Xander wasn’t going to get any looser than this. He lifted his mouth and moved up Xander’s body. Angel saw him through hooded eyes and with great reluctance pulled away from Xander’s wonder of a mouth.


Xander whimpered, but Spike silenced him with a kiss. He had already lubed his cock and soon he was seated to the hilt inside Xander’s beautiful body. Xander wrenched his head back, breaking the kiss, and made a high keening sound of ecstasy.


“Ah, so good, Pet.” Spike moaned, “So good.” Spike rolled them over to the side, knowing Angel had to be getting impatient. Xander began to feel fingers gently sliding in beside spike’s cock.  He finally understood what his lovers thought he would be able to handle.  It gave him a surge of lust to think of both of them being inside of him at once. They would truly be one.


After a few minutes, Angel finally thought it might be safe. He slowly lined up behind Xander and slowly began to enter along side Spike.  Xander gave a small grunt of pain, and both of his lovers froze. “No, it’s alright, keep going, I am stronger than I look, remember?”


Angel and Spike took him for his word and both began thrusting in—at first shallowly, but then deeper, and deeper.  The sensations were overwhelming and it was not long before all of them were coming. It was more than any of them had felt before.  Nothing had ever been this good.


The sounds of harsh breathing filled the room as they each tried to regain their equilibrium.  “Well,” Xander finally said, “Seven out of ten, I’d say, solid seven out of ten. I will, of course, do much better when I make you two my bottom boys…”


That was all he could get out before both Spike and Angel began tickling him everywhere they could reach. The sounds of laughter filled the air, and all was good.


For now at least.







AN- thank you all for all the great reviews I’ve been getting, and a big thank you for those who gave my other new story, Empire, a chance.


Now, I will say one thing, sex scenes like this are not my forte, they take me forever to write, and I am never sure that they are any good.  I am much more of a fade to black sort of girl.  However, I will write a scene for landmark reviews. (75, 100…ect) Whoever is that reviewer can name any pairing, het of slash, in the story, and I will write a full scene.  If they don’t want sex, they can request an extra scene with the characters of their choice. Sound fair?


Chapter Text

Chapter 11


“I've always wanted to be a spy, and frankly I'm a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me.”

~Elizabeth Hurley


June 24th, 1998

-On the way to Hellsing Manor.


Jack was impressed by the types of automobiles his British counterpart was given as a part of his job. He stroked the leather interior of the silver Aston-Martin as they drove towards the Hellsing Estate.


“You’re drooling again.” James said as he pushed the car to its limits.


“It’s damned unfair.” Jack grumbled.


“So you’ve said.” James replied. “Back to business, how do you think the King is going to like the terms we are presenting?”


Jack shrugged. “Who knows with him?”


A stray beam of light made the ring on James’ finger glisten. “Who indeed.”


       It wasn’t a long drive and they ended up making it there before noon.  The guards had waved them through the gate with barely a glance and a valet ran down to take their car as soon as they came to a stop in front of the house.


       Jack wondered at the security. “It seems awfully lax for a place like this.”


       James raised an eyebrow. “They are vampires. They probably could see who we were from a mile away. Who knows? But I am almost certain that if they thought that we posed any sort of danger to this place, we would no longer be breathing. Remember what we saw the other morning. I know I am never going to underestimate them.”


       “A good plan, indeed, Mr. Bond.” Walter said as he opened the door.  “Good afternoon, gentlemen, I trust you had a pleasant drive?”


       “Yes, it is quite lovely countryside you have here.”  James replied.


       “Very good. If you two gentlemen would follow me, I will show you to Sir. Integra’s study.”  Walter said as he tuned to lead them down the hall.


       “That is very kind of you.” Jack replied.


       Alucard and Integra were alone for once, sitting in front of the fire, enjoying the silence. They knew, however, that it couldn’t last.  “Come in.” Alucard called before a knock could sound.


       Walter came in with the two former secret agents following behind.  “Ah, welcome!” Alucard said with a toothy grin.  He motioned for the two men to sit on the loveseat opposite them. “I think that will be all for now, Walter.”


       Walter nodded, “Very good, sir.” He said as he backed out of the room.


       Alucard looked at his new ambassadors. “Have you come bearing news?”


       “Something like that.” James replied. “The British and American governments have recognized us as ambassadors to your court. The Queen has recognized you as a sovereign monarch and cedes you the Hellsing property as well as all unoccupied land in a twenty-five mile radius.” James took a sheaf of papers from his jacket. “Here are the documents.”


       Alucard smiled even more widely. “Wonderful. And in exchange?” He was wise enough to know that no gift came without strings.


       “Peace. She wants a mutual treaty stating that no act of war will be taken against the Crown as long as no act of war is committed against you.” Jack replied.


       “Done, bring the paperwork and I will sign it. That I would have given anyway, what else does she want?”


       “To have you as an ally in case the country is even attacked, being that this island is your home as well. She also wants your assurance that you will be in charge of governing the supernatural beings in Great Britain.” Jack explained.


       Alucard nodded. “I will, of course, be governing my own people, and if there are attacks from outside forces we gladly give our aid unless the peace treaty has been broken.”


       James nodded. “Fair enough. That is about it really. The Queen wasn’t as surprised as many of the other world leaders, she knew what the Hellsing Organization was and that they were completely loyal to the Crown.”


       Integra nodded. “But what of the Americans? Didn’t you say that your were here representing them as well?”


       “Yes,” Jack replied, “They want a similar peace treaty and they would like to know more about how you plan to govern the supernatural within the United States.”


       Alucard smiled. “Tell them to pick a representative and I will send my ambassadors to meet with them on American soil. I was planning on doing something similar anyway.”


       Jack nodded. “That can be arranged, how soon?”


       Alucard thought of the three newborn vampires bonding upstairs. “Perhaps in a week?”


       “I will see what I can set up.” Jack replied. “If there is nothing else, we can go back and begin to get things set up on our end.”


       “No, go right on ahead. Prepare a treaty and if it meets our approval, we will sign.” Alucard replied. 


       The two ex-spies stood. “We will, and we will let you know what we find out from America.” Jack said as they began to walk towards the door.


       “Excellent. Have a good day gentlemen.” Alucard said as they took their leave. He looked down at his wife. “So what do you think?”


       “It all seems to be a bit too easy, don’t you think?” Integra replied.


       “Perhaps, but it was a lovely bit of fait accompli I presented them with to begin with. At this stage of things, there isn’t much else they can do.  As for the future…well,” He reached down to touch Integra’s stomach. “The future will be what we make it, that I am sure of.”




St. Louis


       Well, as far as Buffy could see, the first thing she needed to do was to find a new job for Anita. Having her at loose ends was counterproductive. She would never learn anything by just sitting around her house moping.


       The fist thing Buffy tried was suggesting to the police that they hire Anita full time for their supernatural department. Heck, with all of the fighting and firearm experience she had, it probably wouldn’t be that much harder for her to become a cop. Cops helped people, what better way to earn redemption?


       Anita had turned down their offer in five seconds flat, laughing in a hysterical manner all the while.


       Ok, well maybe Anita was tired of fighting, that could be understandable.


       Buffy’s next try involved the local university—who better to teach others about the supernatural than someone who had been a part of that world her whole life?


       Anita had slammed the door in the face of the dean before he could even finish his proposal.


Well, not everyone was cut out to be a teacher.


But on and on it went—no to the offer to help run a halfway house for shifters, no to helping to write informational booklets for those thinking of becoming intentionally undead or furry, no to just about everything helpful Buffy could come up with.


Then Buffy tried looking outside of supernatural related jobs—maybe that had been the problem, but it wasn’t her fault that Anita had such a specific set of skills. Buffy was hard pressed to think of what Anita would be good at outside the preternatural.


There was also the problem of finding Anita a professional job when she had nothing more than a college degree and no real world experience. On the other hand, there were lots of jobs that just required a college degree.


Another major obstacle, however, was Anita’s fame. She could hardly go anywhere without being recognized as the Master of the City’s girlfriend.  This did nothing for Anita’s temper.


Buffy sighed as she began to flip through the classifieds again. This job was going to be much harder than she thought.





(This scene is written for a friend who made a special request. I’d explain what it was, but it would ruin the surprise.)


Things were not going well for Willow and Tara as they set off to clear out the supernatural population of Sunnydale. Some grudgingly listened as they were emissaries of the King, but that didn’t mean that they liked what they had to say.


Things came to a head one night while they were trying to clear out a nest of slime demons. They argued something fierce and as they got louder, the more slime the produced; it flew everywhere as they spoke. Willow and Tara were smart enough to keep well back from the acidic slime, but it didn’t turn out to be far enough when one of them spit and drenched them with slime.


Tara and Willow screamed and tried to wipe off the goo as fast as possible. The acid in the goo was more than enough to melt the skin from their bones. However, after a few seconds, they realized that they didn’t hurt at all. Tara looked at Willow, “The King wasn’t kidding when he said that his gift would protect us.”


“No he wasn’t.” Willow said as she stared at Tara, “But he didn’t promise the same for our clothes.”


“What?” Tata asked as she looked down sure enough, their clothes were melting into a puddle on the ground and they were soon as naked as the day they were born.


Their eyes met as they looked at each other. “Car!” They yelled at the same time as they took off running. Both were grateful it was night, but how on earth were they going to explain this to Joyce?




Stargate Command

Cheyenne Mountain

(Yes, another crossover. =p See author’s notes for details.)


SG 1 returned from their latest mission to find the SGC in chaos. Few noticed them and no one seemed to care how the mission went. (Fine, thank you very much; we had such a fun time collection rock specimens on a barren planet.)


Jack finally grabbed a passing guard, “What the hell is going on here?”


“Oh, Colonel, General Hammond wanted to see you as soon as you arrived. He’s in his office.”


“You care to tell me why everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off?” Jack asked with barely concealed annoyance.


The guard gulped, “It is best you hear it from the General, Sir.”


“I see.” Jack let go of the man and motioned to his team to follow. “It seems we have a General to see.”


It didn’t take them long to make it to their superior’s office and Jack didn’t bother to knock as he went in. “You wished to see us, Sir? Jack managed as politely as he could.”


Hammond didn’t seem to notice Jack’s breach of protocol as he motioned the team to come in and sit down. “There have been some…developments since you left.”


“Yeah, I kinda got that feeling,” Jack said dryly.


“Watch this, it was taped several days ago.” Hammond said as he turned on a recording of the newscast that announced the presence of the supernatural.


The team watched with disbelief and skepticism. “Is this for real?” Sam finally asked.


The general turned off the TV. “It is very real, and the government has decided that since we have been dealing with alien life forms for years, relating to supernatural creatures shouldn’t be that much harder. You four will be meeting with the King’s ambassadors next week in Washington.”


“I see.” Said Jack. “So why is everyone else running around if we are the only four going to Washington?”


“For now, all missions have been canceled. Trained personnel will be sent to most major cities in order to have some sort of damage control there. We have more advanced weapons than regular law enforcement and it has been decided that if the King can’t keep his word and can’t control his people, we will be there to stop them.”


Daniel was almost vibrating in his seat as he listened to all of this. He couldn’t wait to meet a vampire—they lived for centuries. Imagine being able to talk to someone who actually lived through a different time.


Jack looked over at him knowing exactly what he was thinking. Then he looked over at Sam and Teal’c, “What do you guys think about this?”


Sam shrugged her shoulders, “I’m game if you are. It is our job, facing the unknown.”


Teal’c shrugged in the same manner. “It is a mission like any mission, I will go.”


Jack turned back to the General, “Well, looks like we are going.”


The General just raised his eyebrow. “Pack your bags. You will leave first thing in the morning. The ambassadors will arrive in Washington the night of July first.”


“Aye, aye, Sir.” Jack saluted as they all made their way out.  This was going to be one hell of a mission.





Hellsing Manor

Walter’s apartment


“There, there, Cordelia.” Walter said as he stroked her hair. “I am sure they meant no slight to you when they…eloped, so to speak. I am sure they were just rushed because they had to go on this mission for the King. They probably knew that they wouldn’t have the time to give justice to the wonderful wedding you were planning.”


Cordelia sniffed as she looked up at her fiancée.  “You really think so?”


Walter kissed her on the nose. “I know so. Now what do you say to going shopping tomorrow for some new furniture. The east wing is hopelessly outdated and I am sure we will need the rooms sooner or later for any guests the King may have over.”


Cordelia’s eyes had begun to shine at the word shopping—the rest was just icing on the cake. She tackled Walter and was soon lying on top of him on the couch kissing the life out of him.


Walter briefly wondered what would happen when he told her that she would need to get a new wardrobe as well if she was going to stay in England—but after a moment, he couldn’t think at all.




Integra’s Study

Hellsing Manor


“Yes, that should work well, good work.” She said into the phone before hanging it up. She turned to Alucard, “That was James, he said that both the British and American governments agreed to our terms and that there would be a reception on July first in Washington to welcome our ambassadors to America.”


Alucard smiled. “Excellent—that should do nicely, I think.”


“Do you really think those three are the right ones for the job?”


“Yes, Xander can charm just about anyone and put them at ease, while his two husbands are strong enough and experienced enough to keep then all out of danger…not that much can hurt them anymore.”


Integra came over and sat down on his lap, she was slowly becoming more and more comfortable showing physical affection. “If you say so. Time for bed then?”


Alucard grinned, “Yes, it is most definitely time for bed.”







AN- Yes, this has taken a hell of a long time for many, many factors. Not the least of which was the decision to add Stargate. When I thought about who would greet the boys in America, I pondered everything from NCIS to Dexter, but none of them were flexible enough for what I needed, whereas Stargate is one of those shows you can do just about anything to.  If you haven’t noticed, most of my shows are ones where just about anything and everything has been known to happen.  However, now that I have a clear direction, things will start going faster. I don’t plan on adding anymore major X-overs, but I will probably do some fun cameos.

One last piece of business; I have gotten myself an excellent beta for Empire, but now I need one for Kallisti—any volunteers?

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Beta: the lovely SisterD


War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.


    -Georges Clemenceau


London International Airport

Evening of July 1st


Methos and Duncan had already left for Seacouver in their borrowed jet by the time the newly dubbed ambassadors to America were ready to depart for the states on the new jet the Hellsing household had purchased.


Xander, Spike, and Angel were ready to depart on their honeymoon/diplomatic mission and no one really knew how this would play out.


Xander watched the Hellsing vampire footmen load their small jet with everything from towels to the kitchen sink...well, maybe not literally, but close enough. He himself, held three garment bags that held the suits they would wear to the reception they were being given upon arrival.  The Americans had even hinted that if all went well, an Embassy might be set up at a later date.


All in all, Alucard was pleased with the progress they were making.  It was just now dusk and since they were headed west, they would be chasing the sun and they would arrive in America not long after they left London-clock-wise, at least.  It didn't hurt that the jet was the fastest private jet money could buy.


 The Americans had set the reception for ten at night out of respect for the fact that vampires were night creatures. It wasn't commonly known that Midian vampires could walk in sunlight and they planned to keep it that way. 


Spike wrapped his arms around his lover from behind and bent down to nibble his ear. "Did you know that this plane has been equipped with a very, very large bedroom?"


Xander shuddered, "I do now." He replied in a deep, throaty voice.


"Good pet, it is nice to know that we will have something to do to on this long, long flight." 


Angel came up behind him and slapped him on the head. "Enough of that; wait until we are on the plane, we don't need to be a floor show."


Spike gave a mocking bow, "Yes, Master. Whatever you say, Master."


Angel gave a mock kick towards Spike's ass and the blond vampire practically skipped towards the plane. Angel put his arm around Xander's shoulder and led him towards the plane at a more sedate pace. "So what do you think about all this?"


Xander thought for a moment. "It is exciting, but I still feel like I am going to screw it up somewhere."


Angel pulled Xander closer and kissed his temple. "None of that, don't let the putdowns they tortured you with in high school color your perception of who you really are. You are a strong, wonderful, courageous White Knight, and for the next few hours, Spike and I are going to show you just how wonderful we think you are."


Xander grinned at his lover, already feeling better. "Tag, you're it!" He called as he pushed Angel's shoulder before running faster than the eye could see onto the plane.


Angel gave a playful growl, "I'll show you who's it, boy." He said as he rushed after his wayward lover. By the time the plane took off, the three lovers were oblivious to anything other than the pleasures they could give each other.




Washington D.C.

Some large, fancy hotel...


Jack and Daniel looked skeptically at the almost empty ballroom. They turned to General Hammond, "Are you sure this is the way you want to go about this, Sir? The British were very clear that they don't respond well to hostile actions." Daniel asked.


The General looked around at the heavily armed personnel that lined the room, leaving a large open space in the middle. "The higher-ups think that we need to greet them with a show of strength to show them that we mean business and that we should be taken seriously."


"Why not try, oh, I don't know, actual diplomacy?" Jack replied. "It is possible to show strength and civilization at the same time. I think that this will not get us off to a good start with them."


Hammond looked at the two men with resignation, "Maybe so, but it isn't our call, we will follow orders." He said as he walked away.


Jack turned to Daniel, "What do you think?'


"That we are all going to die." Daniel said promptly.


Jack was startled by the amount of certainty in his friend's voice. "That sure, are you?


Daniel sighed, "You know how I sometimes seem to know arcane bits of knowledge with no explanation as to how I could possibly know them, even with all of my studying?"


"Yeah, happens all the time, I have just learned to accept that as part of who you are."


"When I was younger I was approached by a secret society that needed researchers to help them work on things outside the bounds of publically known history. They were called the Society of Watchers and their main job was to record history-all of it, even the parts that it was best that no one in the real world knew about.  They have been making records of supernatural history since before humans developed a standard sense of time.


"I helped with translating some of the oldest records they had. In exchange, to this day I still have access to their databases. We are all sworn to secrecy, but now that the preternatural cat is out of the bag, I don't think it matters anymore..."


"Is there a point to this story?" Jack asked.


"Yes, I read the account the Watchers wrote about the battle at Hellsing Manor. Two of them were allowed to witness it first hand. The battle was over in about a minute and not a single shot was fired. The vampires drained the entire force of attackers before they even saw them coming."


"So that was why the British said not to greet them with hostility." Jack mused.


"Yes, and now do you see why I think we are all going to die?


Jack took a moment to think about it. "Come on, I think I have an idea on how to save our butts."


Daniel looked at him with skepticism, but followed him anyway-anything was better than doing nothing.




Dulles International Airport

~Outside of Washington D.C.


It had been a very, very pleasant flight for the three vampires and they arrived in the U.S. in very good moods.

They were pleasantly surprised to find a limo waiting for them to take them to the reception that had been planned. All three looked smashing in their tuxedos and more than a few eyes followed them as they crossed the airport to get to their ride.


       "You know, I could get used to this Ambassador treatment." Xander said as he caressed the butter-soft on the limo's seats.


       "If we keep this gig, we probably will get accustomed." Spike said as he sprawled out on the seat and put his head in Xander's lap.


       Xander grinned, "Sounds good to me."


Angel just rolled his eyes and turned watch the scenery go by. He loved them, he really did, but sometimes it felt odd to be the mature one in the group. Suddenly a pair of feet made it into his lap. Spike gave a cheeky grin, "Rub my feet, Peaches?"


Angel smirked as he took off Spike's shoes. Spike got a bad feeling and tried to move his feet, but Angel's hands held tight. Really, how could Spike have forgotten that he knew his feet were ticklish?




In the the large, unnamed hotel...


General Hammond flipped his cell shut. "That's it, people, the limo driver just dropped them off-places!"


Jack and his team stood unarmed in clear view of the door with their hands behind their backs.  The door opened and the three vampires were led in, and instead of a glittering throng, they were met by machine guns and uniformed officers. Across the way, Jack's team pulled out signs from behind them that simply said: ‘We're not with these idiots!'


The three vampires looked around and once Xander caught sight of those signs, he began to laugh. His lovers, who had immediately assumed a defensive position at the sight of the weapons, looked at him like he was crazy until they saw the signs he was pointing at. Then they relaxed and began to smile. Nothing these men had could hurt them, anyway.


An older, balding man started forward, but then turned around to see what the vampires were so amused about, however Jack's team had seen the move and had hid the signs behind them. Hammond looked at them skeptically, but turned around again to face the three incredibly young men, surely they weren't old enough to be ambassadors?


"Gentlemen," he started, "I am General Hammond..."


"Is this how you greet all Ambassadors?" Xander interrupted, "Because I was thinking it was a much cooler job than this."


Hammond was stunned, "You are...American?"


"Born and raised." Xander said with a grin. "The two behind me are Brits, though."


Angel and Spike still said nothing, willing to let their beloved handle this. This was one place where Xander excelled-he had faced down Angelus after all, and after that there wasn't much he couldn't stand up to. He just had to believe in himself. They stood at his back and watched for anything that might be an unexpected danger.


The General was still flummoxed, however, "Why are you with them if you are an American?"


"Because we aren't really Ambassadors from another country, we are Ambassadors for the supernatural creatures that live all over the world-including America. America has one of the largest preternatural populations in the world.  I tell you this because violence against us would not just be an international incident, but a very national one as well.


"If things were to come down to war...we would win, hands down." Xander walked over to the nearest soldier and stood in front of his gun. "So what is it going to be? Shoot us first and then ask questions later like cowards, or will you put down your weapons and meet with us civilly?"


The look in Xander's eyes sent a chill down the General's spine.  No one that young should be able to look that cold and fearless. Hammond knew he didn't have much choice here. "Lower your weapons and leave." He commanded all of the soldiers except for SG1.


Jack and his team came forward and he offered his hand to Xander, "Welcome to Washington, We are the people you will really be working with-just so you know, we had nothing to do with the welcoming committee."


Xander smiled and shook his hand. "I think I somehow got that. I am Xander, and these two behind me are Spike and Angel."


"Does everyone get a cool nickname when they go to the dark side?" Jack asked.


Xander laughed, "These two did, but I was given mine the normal way."


"Well, I guess I should make introductions as well." Jack said. "I am Colonel Jack O'Neill, the geek behind me is Daniel Jackson, the lady is Sam Carter, and the alien is Teal'c."


Hammond almost went bug-eyed when he heard Jack give away Teal's identity so calmly. He was about to say something when Jack turned to him and said, "And you have met General Hammond, you'll have to forgive him, the welcome wagon wasn't his idea either, but he was just leaving," Jack gave him a level stare, "Weren't you?"


Deciding discretion was the better form of valor, he decided to agree, "Um, yes, I do apologize, and I think it is time I found out what happened to those soldiers. I am sure Colonel O'Neill will be able to help you with whatever you need." He left quickly, deciding that if Jack wanted to take over everything, he could.


Xander could barely keep from dancing in place. "Did I hear alien?"


Teal'c stepped forward, "Yes, I am what you would call an alien." He said as he took off his hat. The Colonel had trusted them with that information and so he would follow that decision.


"That is sooo cool! I have always wanted to meet...wait a minute, where did you get an alien?" Xander asked with skepticism.


Jack laughed, "It is a long story, and there are some things I am curious about with you as well."


"Well it looks like we're in need of a good pub, then." Spike said, "No better place to tell stories in my opinion."


Jack looked at his team who nodded in agreement. "Let's go then."






A/N- Yay! Another chapter done! I would like to thank my new beta, SisterD-thank you so much for becoming a victi...I mean volunteer.  ^-^;;


As always, loved the reviews. You guys are great.


Chapter Text

Chapter 13

Beta- SisterD


In order to act, you must be somewhat insane. A reasonably sensible man is satisfied with thinking.

Author: Georges Clemenceau


Some Bar

Washington D.C.



"So then he is all like- ‘Grr, let's have a snack on this marvelous specimen of teenage virility.' and Spike totally doesn't buy it..."


Spike looked at Xander with a critical eye. "That's not quite how I remember it, Pet."


Xander tilted his head and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, maybe that isn't exactly how it happened, but close enough, I do think."


Spike looked at Angel and rolled his eyes at the whelp's actions. Angel just gave a small smile and went back to playing with said lover's hair. "I can't imagine who else it is that I know that also likes to embellish the truth." He said, tongue in cheek.


"Oi!" Spike exclaimed as he prepared to defend his non-existent sense of honor.


Jack, sensing an impending argument, held up his hands and waved them at the vampire trio. "Hey, not to interrupt here, but weren't you guys going to tell us what your King wants exactly?"


"World peace." Xander replied quite seriously.


Samantha blinked, "Dracula wants world peace? What are you going to tell us next? That Frankenstein wants the Nobel Prize?"


Angel leaned forward, "Let me put it this way, The King wants sovereignty over his people, in return, he will make sure that preternatural creatures do not adversely affect the mortal world. Think of it kinda like separation of church and state."


"That's it?" Daniel asked.


"In a nutshell. He also wants the ability to prosecute crimes committed against his people.   Simply by being who he is, he can virtually stop all violence committed against mortals. He knows, however, that there are those still out there who wish to destroy dark creatures for some reason or another.


"He feels that if he can make an example out of would be hunters now, then there will be fewer attacks to deal with in the future." Angel explained.


"What kinds of punishment does the King wish to use?" Jack asked.


"There is only one punishment, death." Angel replied, giving the other man a flat stare.


"Isn't that a bit severe? No court system is perfect, what if someone got wrongfully convicted?"


"Not possible, there wouldn't be trials like you know them. A telepath would read their minds and find the truth. No room for lies or deception." Xander explained.


"I see. I understand what you are saying about keeping the justice systems apart, but I can see several places where preternatural creatures would be a great addition to the workforce. I could see police stations lining up to hire someone who could find out the truth without the need for interrogation." Jack said musingly.


Xander shrugged. "Maybe so, I could see something like that happening, but no preternatural creature would be allowed to fight for another nation's army.  We protect our own, and that is it. It would shift the balance of power drastically if we were to favor one country over another. It is not our aim to interfere in human politics."


Daniel sighed, "That is probably a very wise course to take. Whomever possessed an immortal army would be able to take over the world." He looked up sharply at the three vampires, "Why doesn't your king want to rule the world? I am betting he could, easily."


"Too much of a bloody mess," said Spike. "He has more than enough to keep him busy ruling our world. He isn't human, and doesn't give a damn about ruling humans."


Sam snorted, "Sounds like a practical man."


"Well, he certainly never does anything he doesn't want to do, and he sees no point in beating around the bush about things." Xander explained.


Jack sighed, "Now, I can see where that would be the sensible attitude to take, but my superiors are rarely sensible. They are going to see someone with that much power as a threat even if they say they don't want to rule the world."


"In other words, they are going to be a bunch of asses until they realize that they don't really have a choice in the matter." Angel replied.


"Well, they probably aren't too fond of the idea of not having a choice, either." Said Daniel.


Xander shrugged, "Understandable, I guess...still doesn't change anything. Things are what they are. The first thing we need to do is get some sort of treaty in place, then visit a few of the cities with the most supernatural creatures and work out how this will work with the local law enforcement."


"Out of curiosity, what cities have the largest supernatural populations?" Sam asked.


"Washington D.C., New York City, Miami, St. Louis, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and Sunnydale, California." Angel listed. "Only Oregon does not have any supernatural beings at all."


Jack looked skeptical. "Ok, I'll bite, why are there none in Oregon?"


"Ever hear of a town called Eureka?" Angel asked.


"No", "Yes" Jack and Daniel answered at the same time. They looked at each other before Daniel turned back to the blood-sucking trio. "Yes, I've even been there-a town full of nothing but scientists; I can see why none of you would want to be there."


"Yeah, Mate, let's just say we don't have a real fondness for the vivisection scientist crowd." Spike said with a growl. "Word got about that bloody town a while ago and everyone decided that they didn't really want to live there anymore."


Xander put his arm around Spike and squeezed comfortingly. "We've had a few run-ins with some other scientific types and we, personally, aren't willing to go back within a hundred feet of them."


Teal'c looked at them curiously, "What happened?"


"Well, long story short, they created an army of undefeatable vampires in hopes of using them to take over the world and then realized that they couldn't control them." Xander explained.


"How did they find that out?" Sam asked.


"Oh, well, it was probably when the vampires were eating them. But the vampires, having no where else to go, found the King and he came out of retirement, so to speak, to make sure that nothing like that ever happened again." said Xander.


"So humans have no one but themselves to blame for the supernatural world coming out of the closet." Jack concluded.


"Well, actually, that was already happening, but it seems like there was some sort of media blackout on the subject. We found that you could only see the news articles if you already knew that the preternatural existed.  We think they did this to prevent widespread panic. St. Louis was actually the only American city where absolutely everyone knew before the King made his speech.


"Now, I bet if you go back over the news articles for the past few years, you should be able to see the stories pertaining to the supernatural." Angel explained.


"Wait," said Sam, "If the government already knew about the supernatural and had dealt with them before, what was with that whole scene tonight about? You would think they had never encountered anything like you guys before."


"They haven't encountered anything like us before." Spike explained. "The vampire council representatives they are used to dealing with can actually be defeated pretty easily with the right vampire hunters. They didn't like them, but they found them controllable. On the other hand, when we said undefeatable vampire army, we meant it."


 "They were reacting out of fear to a threat unlike any other that they had ever seen." Xander continued.


Jack sighed, "So we don't really have much choice about this treaty do we?"


Xander appeared to think it over for a second, "Not really, but you're not exactly getting a bad deal. You wouldn't have the capability to police us anyway so you might as well let us do it ourselves."


"Well, we can try to get it to go through, I guess." Jack said. "We'll have to get some meetings started with the right people, first."


Xander smiled, "Great! Now, on to more fun never did tell us how you got your very own alien."


Spike burst out laughing. He hoped his boy would never change.



The home of Anita Blake.

St. Louis


       Buffy sat in Anita's living room and invisibly banged her head against the wall. Nothing had worked, nothing, and now she was out of ideas... Well, there was always fast food, but having Anita end up in jail for murdering a customer wouldn't exactly fulfill her mission.


       Suddenly, Anita sat up from where she had been sitting on the couch and she grabbed the phone and began to dial a number from memory. "Hello? Edward? If I told you I needed your help in hunting down something how soon could you get here?"


       Anita listened for a moment. "Oh yes, they're more than big enough to interest you." Anita paused to listen again and said, "Great! I'll see you then."


       Buffy had a feeling that this wouldn't be good.




       Buffy watched Edward as he came in. In the thesaurus, there are many synonyms for ordinary-some of which included normal, plain, and Edward.


       He was outstanding in the fact that there was nothing outstanding about him at all. This was the man that Anita had invited over to make a kill with? On the other hand, he'd be hard to describe to a police sketch artist.


       Edward sat down on the couch and leaned back. "So, what needs to die?"


       Anita paced in front of him. "I had a little... incident with some demons. Now I need to get rid of them if I want everything to go back to normal."


        Edward leaned forward and frowned, "Now, you know I don't back down from a challenge, but I'm not crazy-demons fight with magic and in that area, I'm a null-isn't that more your specialty?"


        "Not anymore." Anita growled. "They took away everything-the necromancy, Jean-Claude's marks, my incubus... everything! They made me just as null as you."


       "And why did they do that?"


       "They did... Well, no, it wasn't them specifically-there was this evil vampire, you see, who called himself 'King Dracula', believe it or not-and he said that he had looked into my mind and saw that I had always wanted to be a normal human and so he took away everything supernatural and handed me over to these demons who turned me into a maid!" By this time, Anita was almost rabid.


        Edward stared at her with wide eyes as he tried to process what she was saying. "You mean you actually met King Dracula?"


        Anita's eyes narrowed, "Just what do you know about him? Is he on one of your bounty lists?"


       Edward laughed, "Hardly, no one would dare. I mostly just heard about him on the television."




       "Yeah, haven't you been watching? The news coverage has been almost nonstop."


       Anita's eyebrow twitched. "Believe it or not, I have had other things on my mind... Like being held captive by demons!"


       "... I see." Edward said, "What kind of demons? Did they have scales, horns, or slime?"


       "No, they were inhumanly beautiful, even that Demon Lord kid."


       Edward froze, "Demon Lord?"


       "That's what I said! How was I supposed to know he was demonic when he looked about twelve? I tried to tell them that was all a misunderstanding but no, no one would listen."


        Buffy was almost in hysterics, she didn't remember much of that night, but hearing Anita's version of events was enlightening... as to how deluded Anita was.


       Edward edged towards the door. "You know, I have a friend that I sometimes contact to help with some of my more supernatural cases. I think I'll give him a call." Anita nodded, somewhat calmer. "Go ahead, you can use the kitchen if you like."


       "Yeah, sure." Edward said as he escaped from the room.


       Buffy followed; curious as to whom he would call.


       Edward scrolled through the call list on his phone and soon made a selection and pushed the call button. Whoever was on the other end picked up fairly quickly, "Ethan, it's me," he said quietly, not wanting to attract Anita's attention.


        Buffy's eyes grew wide, surely not!


       Meanwhile, Edward listened to his old friend make even less sense than usual.


       "Janus, Edward, how the hell did you know where I am? You'd better not be thinking of going hunting here-it would be suicide!"


       "Ethan," Edward interrupted, "I have no idea where you are and I'm not currently on the hunt for anything. You are delusional, as usual. What have I told you about using chaos magic without an anchor?"


       "Once, it was one time, let it go, old man." Ethan retorted. "But then, why are you calling me?"


       "I have something of a puzzle on my hands. I have a friend who called me up wanting my help in destroying some Demon Lords, or something like that, and I think she wants a shot at the vampire King as well... Mostly she's just ranting like she's had her brain fried. I was wondering if you knew anything about these demons, I know some of them can mess with you pretty badly."


       For a few moments, Edward heard nothing from his friend, but then, slowly building laughter echoed through the phone until Edward had to hold the phone away slightly. When it's it sounded like the laughter had subsided, he brought the phone back. "Did I say something funny?" Edward asked rhetorically.


       Ethan sighed, "Is your friend's name Anita Blake?"


       Edward shut his eyes. Ethan already knowing Anita's name wasn't a good thing. Suddenly, things clicked into the place, "You're a in England, aren't you?"


       "Very good, care to guess the rest?" Ethan asked.


       "Well, I think you might just be staying at Hellsing Manor."


       "Smart boy, he is." Ethan replied somewhat mockingly.


       "So what happened?" Edward asked.


       "Anita insulted the consort of a Demon Lord and he called for the King to pass judgment since what she had done was a capital offense in their realm. The king came over, looked at her mind and found that it had been twisted by too much magic.


       "Then these two vampires that were with her asked for mercy and Dracula granted it by stripping Anita of magic and letting the Demon Lords have her."


       "And that was considered merciful?"


       "Very-those demons weren't exactly scions of evil. They will defend themselves, but otherwise the Demon Lord Raenef and his consort, Eclipse, mind their own business. She wasn't in terrible danger. They actually seem to run a halfway house for misfits."


       "But why did the King strip her of her magic, couldn't he have just healed her mind?"


       "That was another part of his 'mercy'. Her deepest wish was to be a normal human, and so he granted it." Ethan replied.


       Edward gave a short laugh. "It probably was, but I think that there is difference in what people think they want and what they really want. In any event, now she is going off the deep end and I'm not sure to do."


       "If the Demon Lords let her go, it is probably because they couldn't help her anymore. Have you considered an asylum?"


       "Ha ha, very funny." Edward said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.


       "Don't let her bother the Demon Lords. You can't kill them unless they want to die." Ethan added.


       "You mean, as in suicidal?" Edward asked.


       "No, Demon Lords reincarnate. Each incarnation is more powerful than the last so they do it to gain strength." Ethan answered.


       "I see." replied Edward. "Well, I am going to see what I can do to calm Anita down and get her some help. I think the stress of everything has just gotten to her."


       Ethan laughed. "Best of luck, old chap."


       "Yeah, same to you." Edward ended the call and rested his head against the wall. "What do I do now?" he asked himself.


       Buffy intangibly patted him on the head. "Don't worry, we'll figure this out...somehow."





AN- Guess what? You will be getting updates faster now! I got the idea to use voice software to write and it is working great. My main problem was not wanting to come home and type after 8 hours of typing at work.


I love all of you who have stayed with me through all of this. You are the best.


Chapter Text

Chapter 14

Beta-Sister D (who always has my thanks.)


Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.

-Albert Einstein




Jack Carter stumbled into his office at the end of a long day. Jo was out, and for that he thanked his lucky stars. If she had seen him now she would have never let him live it down.


The day had begun in a relatively innocent fashion. Zoe had gone off to school without being too much of a teenager, at the office, he was caught up on paperwork for once, and he had not had to go to Global for any sort of end the world situation.


Then the call had come.


Domestic disturbance calls were not at all the norm in idealistic, apocalyptic, Eureka, but they did happen.


Jack walked into the small jailhouse bathroom and began to strip off his ruined shirt.


Despite knowing, logically, that Eureka was the birthplace to many of the most cutting-edge technologies out there, he'd never quite understood the repercussions.


Eureka is also home to some of the world's most innovative sex toys as well.


Jack stepped into the shower and turned on the water as hot as he could stand it and then he reached for the washcloth and began scrub. Eventually, small pieces of purple rubber began to peel off. He didn't want to think about his hair.


“I see you've met the Wilson's.” Came a voice from the door of the bathroom.


Jack spun around and almost slipped, but he grabbed the shower curtain just in time... until, that was, all the rings gave way and he fell down and took a shower curtain with him.


Nathan smirked, “I didn't mean to startle you, Sheriff.”


Jack pulled the shower curtain around him and shut off the water. “Stark, what are you doing here?”


“Why, aren't I allowed to say hello to my favorite law enforcement officer?" Nathan asked with false cheerfulness.


Jack snorted and began to sort out of his ruined clothes. Even Nathan couldn't rattle him after the morning he’d had.


“The latex those toys are made of can be particularly stubborn to remove, I can see if global has some solvent you can use, if you want.” Nathan offered.


Jack paused. “I get the feeling something like this has happened before.”


“Their marital spats are legendary out here. Quite a few people have gotten hit with something or another while trying to break up their little fights.” Nathan answered, “Fargo got hit the last time, I think. Something involving slipping in an extra slick type of lube and twisting his ankle.”


Jack had to chuckle. “That somehow makes me feel much better. If you guys have something that could get this stuff off, I'd appreciate it.”


“Sure, I'll send something over when I get back. But that wasn't why I'm here.”


“Well, why are you here then?”


“I wanted to ask you to dinner, I think we've got off on the wrong foot and I wanted to correct that.” Nathan said.


Jack gave a wry smile. “Perhaps we did—dinner doesn't sound like a bad idea, I am always a fan of eating.”


“Excellent, how about tomorrow night? I can pick you up after work.”


Jack nodded “Provided I can get out of this purple gook by then, that sounds great.”


Nathan headed for the door, smirking. “I'll have Fargo bring something over soon.”


Jack sighed; this was not something he wanted Fargo to see. He'd bet almost anything that Nathan knew that as well.








Duncan surveyed the bedroom, looking for anything he might have missed. He wasn't packing everything by any means, but he did want enough of his things so that he would be comfortable in England.


Methos was in the living room trying to put together all of the contact information for the immortals on the West Coast. Well, the ones he liked anyway.


He would spread the word that the West Coast wasn't a good vacation spot right now and hopefully some would listen.


Joe was doing his best to get the word out to the rest of the local supernatural population. He was also arranging for someone to take over the bar long-term. Amanda was safe in Germany and as long as Duncan wasn't here, she wouldn't come back. He had already invited Richie to dinner to tell him what was going on in person so that he could decide where he wanted to go himself.


Duncan already knew that the kid would have a million questions. Duncan knew that he didn’t know anything about the supernatural either. Oh what fun.




Los Angeles


Gunn was slightly frustrated, how had he gone from hunting down demonic menaces to warning them to evacuate from a doomed city? It just wasn't dignified. He and Wesley were blanketing some of the more supernatural areas of the city with flyers written in a variety of demonic languages. With all of the other weird things in the city, humans weren’t likely to notice, but word would definitely run fast amongst the demons.


There were no bigger gossips in the world.


Lorne was also spreading the word through his club while arranging to shut it down. He had decided that he could possibly make a pretty penny if he went to Vegas. The refugee population alone would pack the club. He already had a demon real estate agent looking into possible properties.


Gunn shook his head. He still didn't know where he wanted to go or how he would get his family and friends to go with them without raising a panic. He got to the corner of the block and found Wes waiting for him.


“Ready?” Wes asked.


“Yeah, I think we've hung enough for tonight. Time to go get some sleep if you ask me.” Gunn answered.


“Very well.” Wes replied as they began to walk home. “How do you think Riley and Graham are doing?”


“Who knows? I'm just glad they drew the short straw.” Gunn replied. It had been decided that while Willow and Tara were cleaning out the Hellmouth, two people minimum would need to work on LA and another two would need to hit the smaller California towns to spread the word. Riley and Graham had drawn the short straw, meaning they were the ones that got to go on a road trip–not that they had seemed upset about it. They probably would've gotten bored just sitting around LA anyway.


Gunn elbowed Wes to get his attention, “So what about Chinese for dinner?”


Wes made a face, “it seems like we have Chinese all the time, how about Italian?”


“What, like pizza? We have that all the time too.” Gunn replied.


“No, not pizza, I mean real Italian food… lasagna, ravioli, calamari...”


“Sounds good, just do me a favor and hold the squid.” Gunn answered


Wes smiled. “Deal.”






“... And so, Richie, that is why we are moving to England.” Duncan finished.


Richie sat calmly as he ate some more of delicious steak Duncan had prepared. “You're going to go live in some English manor full of vampires.” He finally replied. “Have you lost your mind?” He asked, his expression switching from mild to incredulous.


“Well, they are really very nice vampires... relatively speaking.” Methos replied.


“You guys are crazy. Of course, I probably shouldn't be surprised–you have told me some pretty crazy stories about your past before.” Richie shook his head in bemusement.


“So, do you want to go with us?” Duncan asked.


“Nah, I've gotten in pretty good with the local racing circuit here–there’s going to be some really good races in Los Angeles coming up. I don’t want to miss them.”


Duncan shared look with Methos. “Well, there might be just a small problem with that.” He said as he turned back to Richie.


“What?” Richie asked.


“Well, part of the reason we came back was to help with warning the immortals on the West Coast that it wouldn’t exactly be safe here from now on. I can't give you much detail, but we've gotten word that things will get quite nasty around here in the next year or so.” Duncan explained.


“Actually, the fuss is supposed to center around LA, but the King wants everything west of Vegas and south of Canada evacuated just in case.” Methos added.


Richie looked back and forth between the two incredulously. “You know you sound crazy, right?”


“So what else is new?” Methos replied with a grin. “But seriously, where do you want to go?”


Ritchie just groaned.






The Goblin Kingdom



The labyrinth was beautiful at night–the fairies lit up in the dark and swamp gas gave off an eerie glow. Alucard looked off the balcony of the castle, “I love what you've done with the place—it’s Midsummer Night's Dream meets the Gremlins.” He told Jareth.


The Goblin King laughed. “I'm so glad you appreciate it. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”


“I need a favor, I might need a safe place I can send people to–humans...this is a different realm, nothing that happens on earth can touch them here.” Alucard replied.


“Why here?” Jareth asked, “There are many other nicer realms you could have access to.”


“Speed mainly. You have that wonderful little curse in place that whisks away anyone who is wished away. I'm asking permission so that I don't have to run a maze to get them back.”


“Granted.” Jareth answered. “What's coming? How big does something have to be in order to scare you?”


“A large, ignorant human population obsessed with nuclear war.”


Jareth snorted, “That would do it, I suppose. Why then, do you want sanctuary for some of those vile beasts?”


“Integra's pregnant, I can't change her until she has the baby and there a few more still attached to their humanity for some reason or another. I'm sure that they will come around, but until then...well, radiation does such nasty things to humans.” Alucard explained.


“I see, well if any of your people come here I'll be sure to treat them just as if they were my own.” Jareth promised.


“No, you can't turn them into goblins, either.” Alucard replied.


“You take away all my fun.”




Eureka–the next night.



It was six o'clock and Jack was more than ready to call it a day. He wondered if Nathan would really show up for their date, no wait, it was just dinner. He had to remember that–no matter how handsome the doctor was.


Jack locked up his desk and then went into the restroom to change into the civilian clothes he had brought with him.


Zoe had gone mad when he told her about this dinner and she had attacked his wardrobe with fervor, desperate to find something she would be willing to let him out of the house in. He had tried to explain that it wasn't a date, but that hadn't seemed to stop her.


When Jack came out of bathroom, he was startled to see Nathan already there, sitting in his chair.


“By all means, make yourself at home.” Jack said with a smirk, more amused than annoyed with the scientist.


“Nah, this thing has terrible lumbar support. I don't know how you can sit in this and not end up crippled.” Nathan said as he got up and headed towards the door.


Jack followed. “Take it up with whoever decorated this office, the chair wasn't my idea. So what are we having for dinner?” Jack asked as he climbed into Nathan's car.


Nathan started the engine, “Steak and baked potatoes.” He replied.


“Wow, I didn't know you could cook.”


“I am a man of many talents, Sheriff.” Nathan replied as he pulled onto the road.


The drive did not take long and soon they were pulling into Nathan's driveway. Jack whistled, “Nice place you have here.”


The house was set back into the woods; it was two stories and made mostly of windows while the roof was covered with solar panels.


“Thank you, Carter. I was glad it was on the market when I came here.” Nathan led the way inside, “Lights, seventy percent.”


The lights came on and Jack looked over at his host, “Are all houses Eureka smart houses?”


“Well, to varying degrees…I think you are the only one with a house that can talk, however.” Nathan led the way to the kitchen. “Have a seat.” He motioned towards the bar stools at the counter. “How do you like your steak?” Nathan asked as he got two very nice looking cuts of meat out from the refrigerator.


“Medium rare.” Jack answered. “Hey, thanks for having me over like this, you are more than welcome to come over to our place sometime so I can return the favor.”


Nathan gave him an unreadable look. “I might not be opposed to that. Frankly, I'm surprised we've gotten this far without insulting one another.”


“I think most of our problem stems from the fact that I usually only see you when things are going wrong. High stress situations aren't the best time for pleasantries.” Jack replied.


“Hmmm…” Nathan replied as he went back to the refrigerator and got out two beers. “You probably have a point.” He said as he slid one of the beers already Jack.


“Not to mention how secretive you've been about whatever it is you have in that super secret level of yours.” Jack slipped and with faux casualness.


Nathan slipped the steaks under the broiler in the oven and turned back to Jack “Ah yes, the elephant in the room. I have no shame in telling you that that was one of the reasons I asked you over. What I'm about to tell you cannot leave this room.”


Jack was on the edge of his seat. “You have my word.”


“I'm only telling you this so you stop blaming our project for everything that goes wrong in Eureka. Your insistence is likely to bring the wrong type of attention here, dangerous attention.” Nathan explained, not at all feeling guilty about the story he was weaving. “The reason I always deny your accusations is the same reason I get so frustrated by them–what we are studying is an artifact.”


“An artifact?” Jack echoed.


“Yes, an excavation team found something that might revolutionize our theories on how much we think the ancients knew about technology. Our findings could become controversial, to say the least.” Nathan continued as he wrapped two potatoes in plastic wrap so that he could microwave them. He never claimed to be a gourmet chef.


“What type of artifact?”


“That I really cannot go into.” Nathan applied “I told you too much already, but you see now why your accusations are frustrating to me?”


Jack's expression was sheepish “Yeah, I get the idea. I just never would have thought that Global would study something from the past.”


“The past will always be a necessary part of our future.” Nathan answered as he checked the steaks and turned them over. “There a lot of unexplained things in the past, for example, did you know that they think that they have found primitive types of batteries in Egyptian tombs? To this day we have no idea what they are for or how much Egyptians really knew about technology.”


Jack was fascinated. “That is amazing. Something tells me I should've paid more attention in history.”


Nathan gave him a wry smile, “Carter, you no idea.”




The next morning, Jack was whistling as he came into work. For a ‘not date’, the previous evening had gone surprisingly better than many of his more recent ‘real dates’.  He stopped suddenly as he noticed the new chair that sat behind his desk. It was high backed and made of black leather. It just screamed ‘expensive’.


Jack walked around his desk and sat down experimentally. It must have had some sort of technology to it as it adjusted automatically to his height and weight. It was the most comfortable chair he had ever sat in. He noticed some buttons on the arm rests and pushed one experimentally. The chair began to vibrate. Jack almost groaned out loud.


An envelope on the desk caught his eye. He opened it and read—‘I had a wonderful time last night; I hope we can do it again. As for the chair? I figured you would appreciate it more than a bouquet of flowers.  Yes, Carter, it was a date.  –Nathan’.


Jack began to laugh, and he was still laughing when Jo arrived. She turned around and left before he could see her. She didn’t want to know, she just didn’t.


AN- I want to thank everyone for their patience with me. I know I am slow, but I will tell you that I won’t leave this story unfinished. I just have very little energy at the end of the day. Thank you so much for your reviews. They really mean everything to me.



Chapter Text

Chapter 15

Special thanks to Absinthe and Eclipse for their help and encouragement.



The final war will be between Pavlov's dog and Schoedinger's Cat.
Author: Robert Anton Wilson


July, 2 1998
Washington DC

Jack had gotten a room for Xander, Spike, and Angel at the same hotel his team was staying at. The boys would not be leaving until nightfall, but that didn't mean that SG-1 would be idle. Sam and Teal’c would stay and keep watch over the sleeping vampires while Jack and Daniel went to report to Gen. Hammond.

They found him in a borrowed office deep within the Pentagon. The door was open, but the general looked to be engaged whatever report he was reading. Jack knocked on the frame, “May we come in?”

Gen. Hammond looked up, “So I see you lived.” He said grumpily.

“Was there ever any doubt?” Jack replied. “So do you want to hear what we learned?”

Their boss just glared. “Get in here and shut the door behind you.” Jack and Daniel complied and sat in the two chairs in front of the desk. Daniel decided to start, “The meeting we had with them last night went very well. They seem to hold no ill will in regards to the way they were greeted. In the end, I think actually it actually amused them.

“They told us that the treaty the King wants only has four points. The first is that the King wants the right to govern his subjects without outside interference. He has declared that if any supernatural creature harms a human outside of self-defense, they will be killed. The second point is that if any human harms a supernatural creature then they will be given to the King for judgment.

“The third is that no supernatural creature can be forced to serve in any human war as it would give that country and unfair advantage. The King wants to keep his kingdom completely separate from human politics. The last item is that no one is allowed to perform scientific experiments on supernatural creatures.”

Gen. Hammond looked thoughtful. “That doesn't sound unreasonable, but I can think of several politicians who object just on principle. However, they might be persuaded just by the fact that having this treaty means that the King will stay out of human governments altogether.”

“We will leave the presenting to you. Politics give me hives.” Jack said as he handed over an official looking document. “Here is the treaty in writing. King Dracula has already signed it. Great Britain has already signed one just like it.”

“I’ll present it today. There are quite a few people eager to hear the results of last night's meeting.”

Jack gave a wry smile. “I'm sure. Well, if you don't need us, I think we will go back to the others. You can reach me on my cell when a decision is reached.”

“Of course, you both are dismissed.”

Jack and Daniel left the office. “Do you think it will take long for them to make a decision?” Daniel asked.

“Let's just say that I wouldn't be packing my suitcase to go off planet for a while if I were you.”

“Probably good advice.” Daniel winced.



As the time traveling spaceship settled down again, Jack and the Doctor wondered where they would be. The computer never told them anything anymore nor were they able to tell the ship where to go.

The door opened and there before them stood an opulent castle. “Well,” Jack said, “this is certainly better than some of the places we've been.”

The Doctor nudged Jack in the side and pointed to a nearby sign. ‘Welcome to the castle of the Demon Lord Raenef.’ “You might want to rethink that.”

“Demon Lord? We leave the home of a vampire king only to land in hell? Although, it seems pretty nice here, very temperate.”

“That is because you are not in hell.” Came a voice from behind them.

They spun around and saw one of the most beautiful men they had ever seen. He had long black hair and was dressed in some sort of formal robes. “Well, hello there, I'm the Doctor, and this is the Captain. Would you be so kind as to tell us where we are?”

“You are in the demonic realm. My name is Eclipse and I am the consort of the Demon Lord Raenef. Now I have a question for you, how did you get here?”

“Well, that is kind of a long story.” The Doctor said as he scratched his head.

Eclipse gave a sharp smile. “Don't worry, if there is one thing we have in abundance here, it is time. Come up to the castle for dinner, I'm sure my husband would love to meet you.”

The Doctor shrugged at Jack. “Why not? I have never met a Demon Lord before.”

Jack just rolled his eyes. The Doctor's sense of curiosity would get them killed one day, he just knew it. “Lead on, I'm starved.”

“This way.” Eclipse led the way to the castle.

Raenef was thrilled to meet time traveling space farers. Thankfully his excitement covered said farers shock at meeting the petite Demon Lord.

They were soon eating lunch on the balcony while Jack and the Doctor explained who, and what, they were.

Eclipse looked at the two time lords. “There's just one thing bothering me. You two are mundane—alien, but you still have no magical powers to speak of... How did you enter this realm?”

Jack and the Doctor looked at one another.

Jack shrugged. “Might as well, it worked at the last stop.”

The Doctor nodded in agreement then looked at the two demons. “We've actually no clue how we got your realm. I have not had control of my ship for weeks now.”

“Is it broken?” Raenef asked worriedly—he had so wanted to go for a ride…

“Not exactly.” The Doctor answered. “You see, the TARDIS is slightly sentient but it cannot talk to us. When it wants to tell people something it has to show them. But in this case, showing us just one thing wasn’t enough to show the whole picture. So we have been on a journey, so to speak, and each new place we land in gives us more clues.”

“All right, tell us what clues you have so far it in order and we will see if there is any help we can give.” Eclipse suggested.

“Well, I was originally alone–I have been traveling around Earth's timeline for some years, but I sort of made the 20th century my home base, so to speak. In my timeline, it is about ten years in the future when history…breaks, I guess you could say. I was in my ship at the time and I felt the galaxy give a horrible shudder. I rushed to the computer and saw that a nuclear/eugenics war in 1999 decimated most of the mortal population and it rendered much of the Earth impossible to live on. Originally, this war never happened, but since it did history from that moment on changed completely.

“So I grabbed my trusty Captain and we began to search for what happened. The ship decided to help… in its own strange way. So far we haven’t found the exact cause. We've only been shown several different places and we were told that even if we did find a cause, we could not change it.”

“Ah, that is because you are not dealing with one set cause. Many small things over time must have fallen into place create this war. Perhaps there was one moment where the last piece fell into place, but that point will never be shown to you. The person who told you that the war cannot be changed was correct.” Eclipse explained. “Now where was the first place you were sent to?”

“Well, we met Ares, the Greek God of War and he told us that we had to leave because we would be arriving any minute.” Explained the Doctor.

Raenef was confused, he looked at Eclipse. “Did that mean anything to you?”

“I think so,” replied his husband. He looked at the doctor. “You can travel to any time or place except to where you already are, correct?”

“Right, if we were to meet ourselves, we would cause a universe ending time paradox.” The Doctor answered.

“But how did Ares know that your future selves would be coming back?” Raenef asked.

“Well, apparently some time before we got there, we'd come to tell Ares to warn us to get out of there and somehow we also implied that we were the ones to cause the change in history, or something like that.” Jack answered. “We still don't know how that happens.”

“Then we went somewhere in the mountains of Tibet and the time was near now. We found a wrecked temple complex and heavy tracks that might've been from military vehicles. There were signs that a heavy firefight had taken place, but we didn't see anyone. No bodies or anything.” Jack stopped to take a drink of water; he didn't want to tell the next part.

“What happened next?” Raenef asked.

The Doctor took over, noticing his friend’s reluctance. “Then we were taken ten thousand years into the future. There was a desert covered in bones. According to the ship, we were where Los Angeles once was. A beautiful young man came to us and he told us that the war could not be stopped and that we shouldn’t try to stop it.”

“Did he say who he was?” Eclipse asked.

“No, once he had given his message, he just left again on this bionic horse. It was fast, one moment he was there and he was gone.” Jack answered.

“There is one odd thing, though, he indicated that indicated that he knew me.” The Doctor added. “But so far we don't know how we meet him. The last place we went was Hellsing Manor where we spoke with a vampire king and we told him basically what we've told you.”

“Interesting.” Eclipse commented, “So now we need to figure out why you are here. Atomic bombs in the human realm would not affect this one, so you can't be here to warn us, as you as you did the King. There must be something we have, or know, that you need.”

“It is also possible that you need this information for another reason. One that isn’t clear yet.” Jack suggested.

Eclipse looked thoughtful, “Maybe. Let me check some of my sources. Meanwhile, stay here and relax for a few days. The nice thing about having a time machine is that you know you won't be late for your next stop,” he suggested as he got up from the table. He went over to his husband and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “Why don’t you show them around get them settled in some rooms?”

“Sure, but where are you going?” Raenef asked.

“Some place for you are not allowed to go until you are much older and wiser.”

Before Raenef could get into a good rant at his husband for saying something like that, he disappeared. “Damn, he always does that.” Raenef pouted.


Count D's pet shop

July, 2 1998


Eclipse went to the one person he knew that might have answers. Count D was someone who liked to collect things–animals, art, music… but most of all he collected knowledge. There were very few things that the man didn't know.

Eclipse created a portal and arrived in front of the pet shop that Count D owned. He walked in and headed to the sitting room where he knew he would most likely find the man in question.

The Count was there, but he was not alone. He, and a blond haired man were having tea. Eclipse had not had time to speak to the Count at the ball at Hellsing Manor, but he knew that his old friend had taken a human consort.

D looked up as he noticed someone enter the room. “Eclipse! How wonderful to see you. Would you like some tea?”

Eclipse sat down on one of the ornate chairs, “I'd love some.”

D began to prepare another cup. “Leon, this is my old friend Eclipse. Eclipse, this is my husband, Leon. He is a police detective.”

Eclipse accepted the cup of tea and turned to Leon, “it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Leon looked at the man who was almost prettier than D.… but only almost. “Likewise, I guess.”

D looked at his husband. “Would you mind terribly if I asked you to be somewhere else right now?”

Leon looked between the two men. “You mean, get lost what we talk about supernatural things you don’t understand? I guess I could do that.” He got up and kissed D on the cheek. “I'll be home in time for dinner.”

After Leon had left, Eclipse spoke, “I must say I never expected you to end up with someone like him. Someone human.”

D glanced down with an odd look on his face. “It almost didn't happen.”

“What you mean?”

“I almost pushed him away, but at the last second, I couldn't do it. I got ready to leave him behind, but then I found myself dragging him into my shop instead of throwing him out of it. I guess you could say I just kept him and wouldn’t let him go.”

“Did he wish to go?”

“Oh, he put a fuss at first, but it was all for show… he never tried to leave. In the end everything worked out.” D looked at his guest. “I hear I am not the only one with an interesting love life.”

Eclipse looked away hastily and ignored the unasked question. “Well, as to why I came today—tell me, have you ever heard of space travelers known as Time Lords?”

D’s teacup crashed to the ground, “You've seen them? Where are they?”

“In the demon realm with Raenef. Do you know them?”

D ignored the question, “Where have they recently been? I just need the places not what they did.”

“Ancient Greece, modern Tibet, future Los Angeles, Hellsing Manor the other day, then to us. We have been trying to find out why they came to the demon realm.”

D got up and headed towards the back of the shop. Eclipse followed, wanting to know what all this was about. They went down the hall to a set of double doors. Inside was the largest library Eclipse ever seen. He knew that the pet shop was magical, but it never ceased to amaze him. The power here was nothing like the magic of the demon realm.

D went straight to the far side across from the double doors. Eclipse saw the largest book he'd ever seen. “What is that?” He asked, trying to get a better look.

D held up his hand to motion for Eclipse to stay back. “I'm afraid I cannot let you see it. But if you give me a second, I may be able to find the information your travelers need.”

“I wonder why they came to us and not to you, if you have something with the answers.”

The Count didn’t answer; he just looked through the pages of the book. After a few minutes he turned back to his friend. “It is not yet time for them to meet me. It is you they need at this time, or rather, they need your protégé.”


“If that is the warrior demon you have been training, yes.” D answered. “Is she available?”

“Well, right now we have her on a training mission…”

“Is it important?”

Eclipse thought a moment about Anita… “No, not particularly.”

“Take her to the time travelers. They will need her more. While they are innovative, they are no match in a supernatural fight.”

Eclipse felt a shiver down his spine. D knew far too much about this whole thing. “What exactly is that book?”

The kami turned around and carefully closed the ancient looking tome. “It was a gift. One you must be very sure not to mention to your visitors. Tell them you are just sending Buffy with them for protection and to train. Their ship will do the rest.” D spread his hands out wide and a portal opened up. “And now you must go.”

Eclipse wanted to object, but he knew when D was serious and he trusted his friend’s judgment. He stepped into the portal then looked back, “You'll tell me what this is about someday, won't you? The truth, I mean.”

“Oh, I'm sad to say, you'll know everything quite soon.” D said as he pushed his friend through to the other side and closed the portal.

Eclipse almost stumbled when he came out, but he recovered just in time to see the portal close. “Well, how do you like that?”



Anita Blake’s residence
St. Louis
Same day.

Edward paced the guest room, trying to figure out what to do about Anita. She wasn't getting any better no matter what he tried. She was lost in her own world.

Buffy watched as Edward paced. Her thoughts were pretty much on the same page. Suddenly, she felt someone appear beside her. “Checking up on me already?” She asked Eclipse. She could tell by the lack of reaction on Edward’s part that Eclipse was invisible.

“Not exactly.” Eclipse answered as he observed the agitated monster killer. “I take it things are not going well.”

“That's putting it mildly.” Buffy answered. “I tried to help her find a job where she could feel useful again. I thought that she just might need something to help her get over this… but then she went off the deep end and called in this man and now he does not know what to do either.”

“Well, I hoped that she would be better than this, but no matter.” Eclipse looked at Buffy out of the corner of his eye. “Would you be terribly upset if I pulled you off this assignment?”

Buffy gasped. “I would love you forever, if you did. But isn’t this supposed to be my training gig?”

“Well, I was thinking that this might not exactly be your calling. You were chosen to help heroes, not necessarily redeem them. I think I've found something more suited to your skills. I must warn you, however, that this assignment will require extensive travel.”

“When do I leave?”

“Oh, I guess we can go now.” Eclipse sighed, feigning boredom. He opened up a portal and waved Buffy through. Before he followed he silently gave Edward the suggestion that maybe some long-term treatment would help Anita. Maybe someplace with nice padded walls.


Washington DC
That night.


Jack and his team took the vampire ambassadors out for a celebratory dinner. Not everyone had liked it, but in the end, the government had no choice but to accept the treaty.

Daniel raised his glass, “To our new friends, the official vampire ambassadors to America.”  Everyone laughed and took a drink. They were back at the pub they'd gone to the night before.

“You guys will be with us from here on out?” Xander asked.

“Yes, when you are on American soil we will be your escort.” Jack answered.

“Won't you miss going into your space ring thing?” Spike asked.

“Oh, something tells me that life around here will be plenty exciting without it.” Sam answered.

Xander grinned, “You haven't seen anything yet.”


Olympus- after Joxer drops off the heroic quartet at Shangri-La.


Ares was in his temple when he heard his consort come home. He went out to the living room. “How did it go?”

“Oh, as well as it could, I guess.” A tired Joxer are answered. “So is the superstition true? Once we are here we can never leave again? Now that the twilight is here, I mean.”

“Yes, any God who comes to Olympus now will be trapped until we all get released.”

“And we have no way of telling those who are not here not come back.”

“We shouldn't warn them anyway. It is for the best if we all step away for a time.” Ares pointed out. “Think of it as the long-awaited honeymoon we never got to take due to having to take care of godly things.”

Joxer gave a small smile. “Well, that is a good point, I think.” Just then he heard the sound of a child crying. He pulled back from his husband. “Ares, where did we get a baby from?”

Ares grimaced. “Well, that’s a bit of a long story.”

Joxer glared. “It seems to me like we have nothing but time.”

“Do you know why I had you hide Kallisti?”

“No, I haven't had a chance to ask why you brought on the twilight.”

“Well, it all started when this odd blue box appeared in my throne room…”



A/N- I am slow, but you know this by now. This story will never be abandoned, however. There has just been a great deal that has gone on lately and it has dragged me down a bit. I have to thank people for the encouragement I have received during this time. You are all the best readers an author can ask for.


Chapter Text


Kallisti- Chapter 16


Note- Time will begin to go faster now.


Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Napoleon Bonaparte



Hellsing Manor, Army barracks


       Seras watched as the child vampires set up their stolen scientific equipment. “So what does all of this do?”


       One of the smallest girl vampires answered, “Well, the large machine that looks like an enclosed vat is the synthetic blood cloning machine. Because of it, we won’t have to drink human blood unless our Master wishes us to do so.”


       “What does it taste like?” Seras asked.


       “Exactly like the blood sample you give it to clone. There is no difference in taste. The first thing we will have to do is make this technology publicly available. Vampires will be more readily accepted if we don’t have to feed on humans.”


       “The most valuable things we brought were their computers.” A boy on the other side of the room added.  “They have the plans that were going to be used on both humans and dark creatures. I don’t know if we got everything since we don’t know if that was their main base or not, but we did learn that in addition to experiments on us, they were also trying to perfect eugenics on humans.


       “The human genome is beginning to mutate and change as evolution progresses and there are those who want to stop that at all costs.”


       “What do you mean by mutate?” Seras asked, science had never been her strong suit.


       “They have found humans that possess powers such as telekinesis and telepathy. At first they thought that they were preternatural creatures like us, but then they realized that the mutants were 100% human, just moving up the evolutionary tree.”


       “I can understand how they might be afraid of supernatural powers, but you are saying that they want to stop evolution all together?”


       “You have to remember, if evolution is proven, then it will mess with the belief systems of quite a few religions. People tend to get a little upset when you try to mess with their beliefs.”


       Seras froze, “What do you think that will happen now that Alucard has come out of the closet, so to speak?”


       “That is the million dollar question, now isn’t it?”




       Alucard held Integra from behind as they stood on the balcony looking at the stars.  “Beautiful, isn’t it? Some might prefer the sun, but I wouldn’t trade the night for anything.” Alucard said as he kissed Integra on the head.


       “I would expect nothing less from you.” Integra answered. “Alucard, what is going to happen? That Doctor spoke about nuclear war, but not about why it happens. Is it us? Are we going to be the cause of this? Maybe the world wasn’t ready for us.”


       “When the sun is up, people can see everything around them clearly, but they can’t see out into the great beyond like you can at night. No, this isn’t on us.  Human suffering is primarily caused by other humans.  If they launch bombs, it won’t be because they are defending themselves from us, it will be because they can’t live with their own fear.”


       “Is that why you aren’t telling the humans to get out of California? Or making plans to stop it all together?”


       “I have several reasons, but the most important is that we cannot interfere in a war between humans. If we want to retain our autonomy, we cannot pick sides in a human fight.  Another reason is that this has been building long before we stepped onto the stage.  Humans have to realize on their own that fighting against themselves is no way to survive.  If we step in and tell them, they won’t believe.


       “Think of it this way, if you go in and fight a revolution for someone and then hand over the reigns when you are done…it will end in chaos. They will feel that their freedom has not been earned, and they will go back to the way things were before because it is familiar.”


       “And if they decide to drag us into the war?”


       “Then whatever they start, I will finish, and they won’t get the reigns back.” Alucard answered.




       St. Louis


       Edward didn’t know where the idea came from, but he knew it was the right one. He waited until Anita was asleep before he took out his phone.  It made his skin crawl, but he still dialed. “Jean-Claude, this is Edward, I need a favor.”




The Circus of the Damned


       Jean-Claude hung up the phone with an amused expression on his face.


       “What is it?” Asher asked as he came over to Jean-Claude’s desk.


       “That was Monsieur Edward. He wants to know if we can get Anita into an asylum, no questions asked.”


       “Why would he want his friend committed? Not that I disagree…” Asher asked.


       “He doesn’t know what else to do with her. She is apparently bent on revenge against the Demon Lords. He wants her committed for her own safety.  He says that she can’t be reasoned with.”


       “So you’ll do it?”


       “Yes, and from what it sounds like, I don’t think that the sanitarium will object to admitting her. I might not even have to bribe them.” Jean-Claude answered.


       “Imagine that.”




Los Angeles- The Petshop


       Leon found D in the room he always found D in when the Kami got into one of his darker moods.  It was a mausoleum—dark and full of moving shadows and at the end of the room there was a grand tomb.


       “Was he a friend of yours?” Leon asked.


       “He is a friend of mine, yes.” D answered with an unexpected smile.


       “Is? As in, not Was? Is there someone alive in there?”


       “Yes, and no. It would depend on your definition of alive, I guess.” D answered.


       “Why is he in there?” Leon asked as he walked over and began to look for the edge of the lid.


       “You won’t find it. It is carved out of one piece of stone.  As for why? Because he wanted to be, of course.”


       Leon decided not to ask how the mystery man got into the tomb, knowing that the answer would only frustrate him. “How long has he been in there?”


       “Around 500 years, give or take. It is hard to recall the exact number at the moment.” D answered.


       “Will he ever come out?”


       “Yes, when the time is right, it will be soon now.”


       Leon was quiet for a moment then asked softly, “Can I ask, what is he?”


       D thought it over for a minute. “I don’t think I can tell you, what he is does not yet exist.”


       Leon came over and kissed his lover. “I still love you, even when you don’t make a bit of sense.”


       “What can I say, it is a part of the family charm.” D batted his eyelashes flirtatiously.


       “Come on, you. It is time for tea and I brought your favorite cake.”


       And just like that, the mood of the room changed.  As D left the chamber, Leon looked back. For a second, the white stone seemed to shimmer, but then it was gone just as suddenly as it came, Leon figured it must have been a trick of the light.  Nevertheless, he quickly followed his lover back to the main parlor.




Demon Realm


       Eclipse and Buffy arrived on the balcony of the castle just in time for dinner. Raenef, the Doctor, and Jack were just sitting down when they appeared. 


       “Buffy! You’re back!” Raenef exclaimed.


       “Yep, Eclipse said that he had a more important job for me here.” Buffy replied.


       The Doctor and Jack stood as Buffy sat down at the table. “Good evening, Miss.” The Doctor said. 


       “Buffy, this is the Doctor and the Captain.” Eclipse introduced. “Gentlemen, this is Buffy—former vampire slayer, current high demon.”


       Jack bowed at the waist, “A pleasure to meet you, my lady.”


       Buffy giggled and they all sat back down.


       “It seems that Buffy may be the reason you showed up here.” Eclipse explained. “Considering the places you may be going, it might be prudent to have someone with enough strength to fight supernatural elements.”


       “Are you saying you don’t think we can fight?” Jack said indignantly.


       “Don’t get me wrong,” Eclipse interjected, “I do not mean to imply that you cannot fight, it is just that neither of you are preternaturally strong.”


       The Doctor looked at Jack then back to Eclipse, “Well, having one more on the trip certainly won’t hurt.” He turned to Buffy, “How about you, Miss, do you want to go traipsing across the space-time continuum with us?”


       Buffy grinned. “Do I ever!” Then she blinked. “Did you say space-time as in space ship and time machine put together?”


       “Yes, is that a problem?” The Doctor asked.


       Buffy shrugged, “No, I just wanted to make sure I heard right.”


       Jack turned to Eclipse, “How did you find out that we needed her?”


       “That is the one thing I cannot tell you without dire consequences, you will find out everything for yourselves when the time is right.”


       The Doctor nodded. He knew very well that some things could effect the course of time more than others. He just needed to trust that the TARDIS knew what it was doing when she brought them to the places she was bringing them. “I understand, if there is nothing else you can tell us, then we should probably be off in the morning. There is no time like the present to go into the past or the future.”


       Raenef, who had been quiet up until this point looked up and asked, “Does this mean that I don’t get to ride in the space ship?”


       Eclipse took his husband’s hand and brought it to his lips, “No, but I am sure that they won’t mind giving you a tour before they go.” He looked over at the two men darkly, “Will you?”


       Jack gulped. “Oh no, you are more than welcome to get a look before we leave. Right, Doctor?”


       The Doctor, also seeing the look quickly added, “Oh yes, quite welcome.




New York City


       Xander opened their hotel room door with a weary sigh even though he was no longer capable of being truly tired.


       Humans! Now he knew why most vampires just wanted to eat them and throw them away. They were loud, obnoxious, and they Smelled. Had he been this bad…what was it…a few weeks ago now? He gave a rueful laugh. He’d probably been worse.


       Angel and Spike followed him into the room in not much better spirits. They had begun a multi-city tour to lecture local law enforcement officers on how to deal with preternatural crime and so far their audiences had ranged from horrified to obnoxious.


       Xander flopped down face first into the bed. “Are you sure we can’t just eat them?”


       Spike laughed, “No pet. That is my line and if I can’t, you can’t. And it’s not like we can say we are hungry with all of the blood bags they give us. I guess they figure that if we aren’t hungry, we aren’t a threat.”


       Angel looked at him out of the corner of his eye, when did you become the voice of reason?”


       “Oh, don’t get used to it. Temporary insanity like, it was.” Spike answered


       Xander laughed and dragged his two lovers down onto the bed with him.  “Cheer me up, as my mates, it is your job.”


       Laughing, Spike and Angel complied, much to Xander’s delight.




(Now, because I am a magpie that grabs up every shiny fandom that meets my eye…Well, let me just say that everyone needs to see the BBC’s new modern day version of Sherlock. Pairing will be John/Sherlock, obviously. No knowledge needed beyond what you would find in episode 1 or an Internet search.)


       221B Baker St was quiet for once. No gunshots, no violin, and no random exclamations of insanity. John Watson was worried.  Sherlock was sitting quietly in his favorite chair staring at the cell phone that was sitting quietly on the living room table.


       He had been still for over five hours before John finally cracked. “What is it now? I am about to diagnose a coma despite the fact that you are sitting up with your eyes open.”


       Sherlock tore his eyes from the phone and pinned Watson with his stare. “He had to have known. He had to have known and he never told me.”


       “Who had to have known what?” Watson asked, almost dreading the answer.


       “Mycroft. There is no way that vampires could live in England and he not know.”


       John sighed and flopped down on the couch. “Are you upset that he might have known and not told you, or are you mad at yourself for never noticing a supernatural world existing parallel to our own? I know how much you pride yourself on your skills of observation.”


       Sherlock shot up and began to pace around the room. “You are right. There is no way I would have missed it. It must be a hoax. I admit, I was thrown for a moment by how long this has been in the news with no indication of fraud…but that just means that we are dealing with some fiendishly clever foes.”


       John frowned, “That wasn’t quite what I meant…but have you tried calling Mycroft to see what he knows?”


       “And give him the satisfaction of Me calling Him for help? I don’t think so.”


       “One day you will have to tell me what went on between the two of you. Most people don’t have a brother for an arch-nemesis.”


       Sherlock glared at him. “Not relevant. We need to focus. Vampires, werewolves, and demons, oh my!”


       “Oh yes, the ‘hoax’.”


       “Yes, and any minute now Mycroft will be calling me to ask me to find proof that this is one of the largest cons in British, no, world history!”


       John rolled his eyes.  “O…kay…tea while we wait, then?”


       Sherlock was about to make a no doubt scathing reply when the phone rang. He dived for it, but didn’t answer. He just stared at the caller ID with a frown.


       Well, at least Watson knew for sure that the place was bugged after all. “Aren’t you going to answer?”


       “Can’t appear too eager.” Sherlock replied before answering the phone. “Mycroft, to what do I owe the pleasure?”


       “You are not allowed to become a vampire or a were-something either.” Mycroft replied. “Mummy wouldn’t like it.”


       Sherlock flopped down on his chair. “This is no time to joke around.  It is impossible to become something that does not exist.”


       Mycroft ignored him. “They have requested an investigation into who was behind the attack on Hellsing Manor. There is no way a government employee would be deemed incorruptible, so it must be someone independent. I volunteered you.  No one is less susceptible to threats or bribes than you.


       “The King would still like to interview you first, though. A limo will be round shortly. I assumed you would be bringing the honorable Dr. Watson with you, so they are expecting you both for dinner…Well, not FOR dinner, I should say.  Dress nice and do let me know how things turn out.” And with that, Mycroft hung up without letting Sherlock reply.


       Not that it would have mattered. For once in his life, Sherlock was involuntarily speechless. John began to worry until his flatmate began to giggle uncontrollably…no, scratch that, now he was really worried.


       “For dinner, he says, FOR dinner!?” Sherlock exclaimed before doubling over with laughter.


       John, being a wise soul, began to edge towards his room. He didn’t make it.


       Sherlock stopped laughing as abruptly as he started, then in a suspiciously calm voice he said, “Tell me, Watson, do you have a dinner jacket?”


       John closed his eyes, there was no way this was going anywhere good.




Hellsing Manor- Somewhere around dinnertime.


“We have Agents Bond and Bauer, why do we need an outside investigator?” Integra asked.


“Because they are not really ‘our’ agents. We just took the opportunity to pick our own spies. Had we not chosen our own ambassadors, they might have sent someone much less agreeable.  Their first allegiances are to the British and American governments, which is as it should be.


“What I want is an independent investigator, a human one, they can go places that our people can’t. I am not naïve enough to believe that supernatural creatures will be instantly accepted everywhere.” He hadn’t told her about the difficulties many had had in the more volatile parts of the world.


He had decided against setting up battles there and instead just evacuated those areas.  They weren’t places worth holding on to. Now, though, humans were murdering other humans if they even suspected someone of being preternatural. It was reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition.


“Mr. Holmes still seems to have ties to the British government in the form of his brother.  Mycroft Holmes is an enigma in and of himself. He was never someone I dealt with and yet he shows up today almost…” Integra trailed off finding it hard to find the appropriate words.


“Mycroft Holmes fancied himself the man behind the curtain in the British government. He had the rug pulled out from under him when we came out into the open.  He wants to know everything he was never told, and is convinced that his brother can find it out for him.”


Integra looked at her husband balefully, “Will I get those handy dandy telepathic powers when I cross over?”


“For you, my darling, anything.” He said as he pulled her close and kissed her.


A few minutes later, they heard Walter clear his throat.  Alucard and Integra turned towards him. “Your guests are here.” He announced.


“Show them in, when will dinner be ready?” Alucard asked.


“It will not be long now, sir.”


“Do you know who all is attending?” Integra asked.


“Doctors House and Wilson, and My Lady Cordelia.  Everyone else is either busy or uninterested in our visitors.”


“And you, will you be attending?” Alucard asked.


“In a manner of speaking.” Walter replied with a glint in his eye.


Integra sighed, “You do know that you no longer have to be our butler anymore, correct?”


Walter smiled. “I never HAD to in the first place, but I would be bored as a gentleman of leisure.”


“Well, we won’t stop you, we’d never find a better butler.” Integra said wryly.


“Indeed,” Walter said with a smirk. “I will show our visitors in now.”


He left the room and Alucard turned to Integra, “Well, if he’s happy…”


“Who are we to judge.” Integra finished.


“Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.” Walter announced at the door as he waved the two gentlemen in.


“Welcome to Hellsing Manor.” Alucard said. “I am Alucard, or rather King Dracula if you prefer, but we are quire informal around here. This is my consort, Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing.”


“Pleased to meet you,” John began, but then Sherlock cut him off.


“So I take it the contacts are a part of the scam.” He interjected rudely.


Alucard smiled widely, “If you prefer.”


“Sherlock!” Watson hissed. “I apologize.” He said to his hosts.


“Oh please don’t bother on our accounts.” Alucard replied. He turned to Sherlock, “May I shake your hand?”


Sherlock was visibly reluctant, but he knew he might get a bit more information if he showed some cooperation.  Alucard’s hand turned out to be a bit cold…inhumanly cold.  Sherlock frowned.


Alucard let go of his hand and grinned. “You are hired.”


“You decided that with a handshake?” John asked.


“Yes, I just had to confirm something.” Alucard answered. “Mr. Holmes here truly believes that there is nothing supernatural in the world.”


Sherlock was becoming annoyed with an unfamiliar feeling…confusion. “You want to hire me because I believe you to be a fraud?”


“I needed to know that you had no involvement in the crimes against us.” Alucard answered. “You could hardly be a part of the plot if you didn’t know we existed.”


Sherlock opened his mouth again, but was stopped when Walter appeared at the door. “Dinner is served.”


“Gentlemen, after you.” Alucard said as he motioned to the door.


Sherlock looked like he wanted to object, but Watson grabbed his arm and dragged him after the butler. “Thank you, we’d be delighted.”


They were led to the dining room. House, Wilson, and Cordelia were already seated.  “Gentlemen, may I introduce the Doctors House and Wilson, and the lady Cordelia.” Walter said, and then he turned to the three at the table. “Introducing Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson.”


“Looking for more inmates to add to the loony bin?” House asked.


“Not exactly.” Integra answered. “Won’t everyone sit down?” her tone didn’t allow for objection.


The vampire footmen brought in blood for the vampires and salads for the humans.  “Listen,” Sherlock interrupted, “Don’t starve yourselves on my account. Tomato soup can’t be all that filling and since I already know that this is a con, you don’t need to pretend that it’s blood you’re drinking.”


House grinned, flashing fang, “Oh, I can tell that this is going to be a fun evening.”


“Seriously, how did you fool the world with red contacts and fake teeth?” Sherlock asked.


John realized something…well, two things really. First, Sherlock has invested a great deal in his own infallibility. Second…it wasn’t tomato soup the vampires were drinking. He had seen enough blood on the battlefield to know the difference even at a distance.


He had a dilemma, he could break the news to Sherlock now…or he could watch his friend create a spectacle of himself until he figured it out on his own.  On one hand, he didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news—especially to Sherlock, on the other, he wanted to be a loyal friend.


Dr. Wilson on the other side of the table caught his eye. There was a look of understanding that Watson didn’t entirely understand. He opened his mouth to say something but Dr. Wilson just shook his head and then nodded to where House and Holmes were eyeing each other. Watson got the message. Probably best to just sit back and watch for the moment.


House was the one to answer Sherlock. “We haven’t fooled anyone with contacts and fake teeth.” He answered seriously. “How have you fooled the world into thinking that you are a detective just because you have a bad attitude and a sidekick?”


Watson covered his laugh with a cough.


House continued, “Have you even asked what it is you are here to investigate?”


Sherlock frowned. “I was told that there had been an attack on this place, but when we were driving in, I didn’t see any evidence of recent damage so either the attack was very small or it is just another lie.”


Alucard laughed. “As amusing as this has all been, what would it take to convince you that this is all real?”


Sherlock looked around the room to see if he could see any props that might be used to convince him. “Well, if I ask for any of the well known mythical vampire traits I know you would have some sort of trick ready. It isn’t hard to arrange for a mirror that won’t reflect you and anyone can hide in fear at the sight of garlic and crosses.”


       House spoke up, “I know, I know! Turn into bats!”


Integra rolled her eyes. You’ve been talking to Seras, haven’t you/”


‘Integra frowns on it when I transform into animals.’ Sherlock heard. It was the man’s voice, but his lips hadn’t moved. Ventriloquism? Sherlock turned to John, “Did you hear that?”


“Hear what?” John asked.


‘No, telepathy is possible, in my case at least.’ Alucard said directly into his head. ‘Ask me a question in your mind, and I will answer out loud. Will that suffice?’


Sherlock frowned and looked around. No one seemed to be hearing what Alucard was saying. ‘Fine,’ Sherlock thought, ‘Do you know if Mycroft knew about vampires before all of this?’


Alucard grinned. “No, Mycroft Holmes was not aware of the supernatural before all of this.” The rest of the table looked at him strangely when he suddenly spoke out of nowhere.


Sherlock stared, “If you can give me that talent I want to become a vampire right now.”


Sherlock’s phone beeped. He pulled it out and stared at the text. –No, you are not allowed to become a vampire. M.H.-


“I am sorry, Mr. Holmes, that is not a power I can give you.” Alucard answered.


John rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure what had gone on exactly, but at least Sherlock seemed to have caught on.


Alucard looked at John, “You, though…I can heal all of your war wounds. They are simple enough I wouldn’t have to turn you.”


John blinked, well, that was out of nowhere. “Um, thanks for the offer, I’ll be sure to think on it.”


“No you won’t.” Sherlock interjected. He turned to Alucard, “He’ll take your offer, consider it our payment. Now tell us, why have you brought us here?”


“Well, it all began on a dark and stormy night…” Alucard started and over the course of dinner he told them what had gone on over the past few weeks. “What we need,” he finished, “is someone who can find out who was behind the attack…we need to take out as much of the Initiative as possible.  You will get twenty thousand pounds for every name you bring us.”


“And what will you do with the people once you have them?” John asked.


“We have been given permission to prosecute them by the British Government.” Integra answered.


“We’ll take the job, but I don’t care about the money…” Sherlock began.


Watson slapped his hand over Sherlock’s mouth. “Ignore him, we’ll take it.”


“Excellent.” Alucard smiled.


“Spike was right.” Cordelia suddenly spoke. “There is a floor show for every meal here. 




A/N-There really isn’t a good enough apology for why this is so long in coming, but it was not because I had forgotten all of you.  Life just isn’t straightforward sometimes. At least I am not as stuck with this one as I am with Empire.


Anyway, I didn’t get this beta’d. I wanted to get it out as soon as possible so the only editing done was mine.  Please forgive any errors and feel free to point them out. The next chapter is started and hopefully it won’t take as long as this one did to come together.