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Disclaimer : Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Except if she wanted to give it to me >.< And the title that I used came from one of Josh Groban (my favourite singer) song's, You're Loved. The song's that I used in the beginning of this chapter belongs to Sinead O'Connor with the title Jealous.

Beta : Alizea. Thank you so very did a beautiful job, sis.

Summary : Harry realizes that he's in love with Draco. He wants to be with him but he doesn't know what to do. To make matters worse, there is another man Harry is involved with and he's not sure if his love for Draco is strong enough to leave his current lover.


You're jealous

You just can't stand to see me get along without you

Like I do, you told me to
Now you're jealous
Harry kicked the small stone a few feet away. He was angry---no, he was tired, exhausted, and jealous. His stomach ached with all his emotions mixing just like Snape's potions class. And now he was starting to get a headache with everything he was thinking about. He wanted to kill someone but he knew those were empty promises. After all, he wasn't a damn killer or a Death Eater. No, he's just an Auror, working for the damn Ministry of Magic. He hated his job, sometimes.
Looking around it seemed everyone outside had gone home. He was the only person walking the streets. The cold air brushed against his cheek reminding him why no one was outside. He pulled his coat closer to his body as he walked on. The houses in the neighborhood all looked the same with a front yard, white fences, a garage, save for a few discarded bikes left on their stoops. For a brief moment Harry thought about going home but his current memory continued to distract him.

He searched for his pocket-watch; it was a gift from a person he loved dearly. To his surprise he had spent three hours at the park nearby. He privately cursed as put the pocket watch away. How could he let so much time go by unnoticed?

Harry picked up his pace in efforts to get home quicker. He wasn't going to use an apparition spell or any magic. Here in the muggle world, he still felt hestitated and nervous if he must use an apparation or any magics, he didn't know why, maybe he just felt uncomfortable.

As Harry continued walking he was reminded why he was outside in the first place. His mind drifted back to an earlier event that day.

-Flashback- (Harry PoV'S)
Today started out like any other day. I entered the Ministry halls ready to start work. I had a feeling that there would be tons of papers at my desk. The wizards and witches were arriving through the floo while others poured in on foot into the main hall. Overhead there was a news flash of the new Minister of magic; he was announcing the Ministry's efforts to build a better relationship with Hogwarts. A moving image of Head Master McGonegall appeared. She was smiling while shaking hands with the Minister. Just as I looked away I noticed something odd in the distance. There in the middle of the main hall was Draco Malfoy and Alair Ferrol. They were laughing and flirting!

His blonde hair, his grey eyes, his beautiful lips, and his perfect body, they're suppose to be mine. Yet, here he is in front of everyone, for all to see his lust for Alair. I wanted to hear what they were saying without being spotted. Maybe if I'm close enough I'll be able to curse Alair. Moving slowly, I move behind the statue of the old Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. They won't spot me here. Their voices become more audible. I can see Draco smiling; his eyes bright with content and mischief.

"Oh Draco, these green robes look wonderful on you. They really bring out the color of your eyes." Alair said. With a grin he reached over and caressed Draco's arm softly. His body leaned in a little closer as if this touching would lead to something else. I can't believe this. I want more than anything to crush Alair, make him sorry he ever touched something that belonged to me.

"Really? You think these robes bring out the color of my eyes? Just these robes?" He smirked followed by a wink. Draco was enjoying this bantered.

"Hmm...No...That's not what I mean, sweetheart. You always look yum--I mean good in everything you're wearing. And every time I see you, you always look gorgeous." Ferrol, encouraged. He leaned in closer to Draco's neck, inhaling his scent. And for a moment, I could see a blissful expression appear on Draco's face. He was enjoying all the attention he was receiving. I reach inside my pocket. I want to get my wand out. I want more than anything to kill Ferrol for this transgression. How could Malfoy betray me like this!? I slide my fingers around the cool wooden wand. I'll wait a little longer. Just a little longer I tell myself.

"Hmm...and you smell wonderful, love. You smell like vanilla and roses...makes me wanted to eat you." He growled softly against Draco's neck.

Draco sighed as his body went limp in Ferrol's arms. Alair's hands made their way around his shoulders, down his back...he groped Draco butt, and Draco gave no struggle at all. I can't take this anymore. Draco is mine. I'm the one who's suppose to touch him, make him blush, pant, sigh in delight, beg, writhe. Me! Why would Draco do this to me? If this is a matter of sex, why not mention it to me? I would never withhold anything from him. Why lower himself to Ferrol? Ferrol obviously only wants one thing from him, he just want to use Draco as his new sex victim. I'm sure Draco is aware of this. Everyone knows Ferrol's reputation, he's an Infamous Slutty Bastard who only wants to get into everyone pants, and dump them when he's done with them. So why bother?

Ugh, I don't know what's his reason. I'm sure I'll find out later. Right now, I just want to fucking kill Ferrol. I want to hex him and turn him into an ugly slugworm, and throw him into the Atlantic, so no one can find him. I pull out my wand; at the ready, I'll take my revenge. I lift my hand high but before I can even flick my wrist and recite the words someone grabbed my hand. Someone had seen me trying to hex Ferrol. Who?

There's too much anger in me. Whoever stopped me is going to feel my fury. I quickly turn to the person who is still holding my hand but my anger fades as easily as it had come. It's Ron, my best friend. With a grim face he pushes my hand down.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Ron?"

"What do I think I'm doing!? What are you doing, Harry? Are you really going to risk your career as an Auror on someone like that? They are not worth your time. Let's go." Ron grabbed my arm and started to drag me away forcefully from my hidden place.

I don't know why but Ron is the last person I would expect to defend Alair Ferrol or Draco Malfoy. Since Hogwarts, Ron never got along with Draco. They were enemies from day one. It was a big surprise to Ron that Draco Malfoy would be joined their side's and later then he was interested in working for the Ministry of Magic. The Weasleys and the Malfoys hated each other. Both families had different views on muggles. The Weasleys were fascinated with all muggle inventions, transportation, clothing, everything and anything that had to do with muggles interested the Weasleys. The Malfoys on the other hand, hated the muggles and they hated more than anything, mudbloods. Half wizard, half muggle born children. To the Malfoys mudbloods were less than human. As for Alair Ferrol, once he tried to seduce Hermione Granger, Ron's wife. However, she hexed Ferrol into a monkey. Since then he's never dare to approached her again. And though Ron wasn't there when it happened, he has always hated Alair for making such an attempt. So why was he helping Draco and Alair now!? They're not his friends! For Merlin sake, Ron hate them!

"Ron, let me go, you dolt!" I try to yank my hand back but Ron's got a pretty firm grip on my arms. I can tell he's using a lot of his strength; his face is trying as red as his hair. He continues to pull me out of range of Draco and Alair before he speaks again.

"Sorry, Harry. You need to calm down before you do something stupid." Ron explained through clinched teeth. He shoves me on the lift. As the doors close I can see Draco again. His eyes are locked on to me. Ferrol's body covers most of him but not his eyes. He's seen everything. He knows I was listening in on his conversation with Alair. He knew, and he's smiling and smirked smugly. He wanted me to see this. I'm a fool. I feel heat rise into my face, it's mixture of embarrassment and humiliation. How could he do this to me? The doors shut.

-End Flashback- (Normal PoV's)

The images of this morning fade away but not Harry's emotions.

"Bloody Hell! I could've finished him off, Ron! And you Draco, why, why would you acted like a bitch in heat? Is my love doesn't satisfy you enough? whore, I promise you, I'll kill you later", Harry shouted in the empty streets. He hated the fact that he could do nothing to stopped Ferrol. He especially hated not being able to announce to everyone that he was a couple with Draco. He was Draco's lover and Draco belonged to him, no one else. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't tell the world of his love for Draco. He couldn't show any kind of affection to Draco in front of everyone. It would ruin the relationship he had with him. He couldn't risk it. He was a coward for not leaving him for Draco. Likewise, he can't leave Draco for him. Yes, he's a coward, Harry admitted to himself. He loved them both so much. They both held a part of his heart that the other did not possess.

'How do I choose? I can't leave either one of them. I just...can't...'. Harry thought, he bit his lip trying to decide. He looked down at his left hand to admire the silver ring adore with a single red diamond. It was a reminder of ownership. He belonged to another man, it was not Draco. He wanted to vent some more but it seemed his feet had already brought him home. He stood at the front door. He took a deep breath; he knew someone would be waiting for him inside. He was late, very late.
A cold sweat trickled down his neck as his hand reached for the knob. He walked in and felt his hands had become sweaty as well. He was hoping he was asleep to avoid his wrath, to avoid an argument, and lastly, to avoid having to explain where he had been for the last three hours. It was already half past nine; he should be asleep, because lately he told him that he could be tired easily and that was why he always slept early.

Because of that reason, he always complained to Harry about hiring house elves. He complained about all the work he had to do in the house all day. At first, the complaints were cute to Harry, he enjoyed hearing how his day went but now, he just wanted a break. Harry didn't want to hire house elves because he thought they were unnecessary. Besides, he wasn't the one who decided to live like a housewife; in the home all day along. It was not Harry who decided. To make matters worse, he was always complaining about the muggles and how he hated to be around them. In truth, Harry liked living among the muggles because it was where he grew up. Even though his aunt and uncle were mean to him on Privet Drive, didn't mean all muggles, everywhere were mean. And while, he could have just as easily lived in the magic world with witches and wizards, Harry just wasn't impressed. He was bored with the magic world. He just wanted to relax, away from all the worries of the wizarding world. The muggle world was the best place to get away from magical concerns. But this didn't make him happy one bit, and in turn, it made a Harry unhappy too. He couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Of course, there was Sirius Black's house but he couldn't bear to enter. All the memories of Sirius death came flooding back at once. No, he could never go back there again. For this reason he gave Grimmwauld Place to Remus and Severus.

'If I just tread softly enough, he won't hear me. Then I won't have to sleep on the sofa tonight and I can avoid his wrath...that's brilliant idea!' Harry thought to himself. Ever so softly he moved from the foyer into the living room area. It was here that he saw a black slender figure sitting on the sofa in the darkness. The man appeared to be holding a teacup in hand. A faint aroma of jasmine tea,his favourite tea, floated toward Harry, gently entering his nose. He knew right away, he was in such a big fucking trouble. The lone figure placed his teacup on the small coffee table before him. A moment past before he spoke.

" to tell me, why do you have me wait? You have me waiting for you like some servant. Your husband waits, and this amusing to you Harry?"The voice was calm, quiet, control, and unbelievably cold.

"L-Lucius..." Harry stuttered. He was shocked that his husband didn't sleep yet, although he noticed there was a hint of sleepiness on Lucius face who gazed at him with a cold, angry looks. Harry knew that he was in a damn serious problem, because a sleepy Lucius more scary than The Dark Lord himself, and Harry would be prefer to faced Voldemort again (if he still alive, of course), instead of facing his sleepy and angry husband.

"I-I'm sorry-

"You always sorry! You're late! You know that, you bloody idiot!" roared Lucius angrily, already losing his patience, because he wanted an explanation, not an excuse from his liar of husband. Lucius rose from his seat. His pale but beautiful face came to sight as the light from the street entered their living room. Like the wintery sky, Lucius grey eyes pierced through Harry. His faintly blonde hair fell to his shoulders as he stepped closer to Harry. He looked like a lions that ready to sliced its prey. He made Harry nervous and flinched with fear when he spoke again.

"I assume you have a good reason for why you are so late...hmmm?"asked Lucius calmly, although behind his calmness, there was a deadly poison that made everyone whimper like a puppy and wanted to hide from him, especially Harry who must faced him now.

"I-I'm sorry, honey. I was swamped with so much paperwork. I didn't leave--"
"Potter, I contacted the Ministry when you didn't show up at dinner time. They said you went home early. You've been gone since six, so tell me,sweetheart, where were you while I waited for you like a complete moron?" Lucius hissed. If his husband lies to him one more time, Lucius will hex him.

'You idiot! Why wouldn't he contact the Ministry. You're so stupid Harry Potter. Maybe if I beg for mercy he won't make me sleep out here in the cold living room. There's no heat here, and it's not like I can cast any spells to keep me warm' Harry shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to decide what to say to appease he's obviously, angry husband.

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...L-Luc..."

"Tsk, Harry, you said those words again. Listen, I don't need your pitiful excuses, you make me more irritated by doing that. And, you know what I think,Love, I think you should sleep out here tonight. It might give you something to think about, the next time you plan to lie to me. Maybe if you wait like I have, you'll think twice about making my wait" Lucius looking over at the lone white uncomfortable looking sofa. Without another word he moved past Harry as if he were not there. He was not going to negotiate. He reached the steps and as he ascended midway he stopped and looked down at his pathetic husband.

"Oh, I almost forgot. There's nothing for you to eat. Bell and I waited so long for you to return. I thought it was only fair to her your food. Besides, I'm sure you ate outside, right? Ah, never mind. She was very pleased. You should be glad I took care of that flea bag. Well, good night,darling." Lucius gave him a sadistic smile and then turned away to continue upstairs. He was going to teach Harry a lesson. He'll never make him wait ever again. And just as his foot reached the last step he was certain he could hear Harry's stomach give a cry of neglected. With a slight chuckle he entered their bedroom without giving Harry another thought.

"Merlin's beard! What have I done?" Harry groaned, frustated. He sat down on the sofa defeated. In the distance he could hear the pitter patter of Bell approaching the living room. The beautiful golden retriever leapt onto the sofa beside him and gave him a happy greeting with her tongue.

It seems today was not Harry's day...and it made Harry wanted to cry, regretting and cursing all of his bad luck...including all the people's who made his day like hell today. Oh, poor Harry...